monster in law

[Shynea]

Before I start I want to start off by saying no negative comments.

I try to be respectful to my husbands mother but now after two years its getting hard. Since we have been together she hasn't said ONE nice thing about me. Him & I had a miscarriage back in 2012 & she asked him how did he know it was his child. (I lived on the opposite side of town back then) I let that go and moved on. She was excited at first with our pregnancy but not so much anymore. She wants to control everything mostly her son.

Yesturday she calls & asks my husband why he gave me money. I never asked for it & before I was laid off I was handing money over for him to use but of course it was okay because it was her son. I used the money for baby stuff she then proceeded to yell at me that I'm not allowed to buy baby stuff because I have to wait till my baby shower. I got mad and told her not to worry about me. She hung up but called back so I kept my mouth shut. She told him to get rid of MY animals (I have a dog & a cat) just because it's extra money. She decided to stop by & complain that I don't look pregnant. I'm 18 weeks & I choose to wear baggy clothes to be more comfortable. So I came to yhe conclusion that she wasn't going to have a relationship with me or my child. I explained that to my husband & he hasn't said anything about it but I'm putting my foot down. I try to respect her & get nothing in return.

[mommylex]

^ family is all regardless of religion. That shouldn't matter. You should be fine girly.

[briscooby95]

Jeeze if i had MIL's like that id sure in hell punch the hell out of them. Ive never met m in laws tho. Id like to, but also not cuz of a short fuse i hav nd im an atheist, nd his dads a preacher. His father is judgmental. He wants me to meet them too nd he said if his father says anythin negative he'll tell him to fck off. His mother sounds nice tho.

[mommylex]

Sounds like she's tryna get nasty. I encountered something similar where she was saying that the father of my daughter wasn't going to bathe and feed and change my baby at night because he needed "sleep" and in their family the female is the only one responsible.

I nearly got too upset to not punch her. And I didn't. But still. No one is going to parent my kid or excuse his responsibilities by doing things like that for him.

[flakin]

I have a MIL too /:
She and I spoke everyday until our wedding.. As to which SHE MISSED. (Bc she was sitting in the parking lot wanting her son to stay with her)
Then we got pregnant , she asked what my conception date was (bc I fly home to see family) b****..
We later found out our baby has gastroscisis , (related things are smoking & mothers 21 and under, I'm 21)
Her comment was yeah if y'all would have waited (like it was MY fault)
Now I'm getting close to labor and my husband stays with me 24/7.(he pipelined so he took off) she called him the other day to say she had never seen him with his nose so far up someone's a** .. Once again b****. He goes and sees her 3/4 times a week!
I think we all have MIL to an extent .. Your not alone

[EllaMari]

If her daughter disowned her she is probably worried about losing her son and you seem like the threat. So she is going to try and make you look like the bad person to drive her son away from you. That's why if you don't interfere with your husband's relationship with her, let him come to his own conclusions and deal with it. If you can afford it see a therapist, they will help you both stay on the same page and make sure it doesn't hurt your marriage.

[taianasmum]

It's sounds like you ate already doing what you can to make it civil and send like your husband is supportive of you. Its hard for you I'm sure. I'm sure it's also hard for him. I would just have a calm talk about your options and what you will do with your husband. Make sure you have his support I think that it will make it easier on you mentally and be around her as little as possible. Sorry you have to go through that

[Shynea]

*crap

[Shynea]

I tried to explain to him why I was feeling the way I do but he thinks his mom could do no wrong unless she's not helping him with something. We don't say he gave me money. He earned it so I was letting him decide what to do with it. She used that term because it was me. He will take up for me to anyone but his mom. It's hurtful yesturday I broke down for an hour. I do agree with all of you. I try to not speak to her to keep everything peaceful but when her daughter disowned her she decided she could treat everyone else like ****.

[Nena721]

OMG -.- yes I understand you I have a monster in law too and she now even treats my fiancé like shi* just because he is with me and puts me and his child over her. She has become the biggest bit*h ever since we found out we were pregnant.  She brings his obsessed ex over all the time to irritate me and talks about her 24/7 even tried convincing my fiancé to leave me for her. To make it short, he has decided he isn't talking to her, she never let's him be happy with any girl, and he finally fell in love and isn't willing to let her ruin it so it has been decided by both him and I that she won't have contact with the baby at all, she has tried hitting me and him therefore i believe her to be capable of trying to do things against my child because of her hatred towards us. She won't be at the hospital nor permitted at our house. She might get to see him at some point when baby can talk and let me know if anything has been done to him/her. But never be alone with him. Ever.

[mege26]

My mother in law referred to me as "cheap sex" which was funny because I made my husband wait a long time and he was my 1st. I'm not like his side of the family. I grew up poor and in small dirty homes. My parents divorced. His FAM are catholics and picture perfect houses. My husband is more like me than his family. We have issues with his mom. She is unsupportive an judgmental. I literally had to sneak into my sisters Facebook account and block his mom! She would stalk my sister and make fun of my family to hers. My husband told her to stop and that it was disrespectful and she said that she can do whatever she wants. So she wasad when I blocked her. My husband will leave with my daughter as soon as she starts getting negative b/c we don't want our children. Around that. I told him that if she ever says one thing negative to our children about us or other family, we are done. There are somethings children don't need to hear.

[EllaMari]

Why does your husband have to give you money? If you're married it's your money too and you should have access to it. As far as your MIL goes, she could be worse. You don't deserve the treatment, just know it's not about you. She has some serious control and self esteem issues. Healthy people don't behave like this. Unfortunately, your going to have to be the better person. Try and thinking of her like a child you're mentoring. Stay calm, stay positive, vent to trusted friends (but not your husband- that will add tension), and avoid unnecessary contact. You'll make yourself look like a saint, give her less things to hate you for,  and set a mature example for your child!  I know - personally- how hard this is, but after years of therapy I've learned this is the best you can do. Good luck!

[myaugbaby2014]

I understand that I actually have grandparents who are just as rude. But yet expect me to invite them to be around my child. I understand she's family but at some point she has to put aside any harsh thoughts she has about you and realize you married her son your the mother of her grand child and you deserve and will have respect and if she can't be adult enough to accept that then she shouldn't come around you.

[excitedmamitobe]

Wow. Drama lama she is! Anyway,  your child and if your husband cant even back you up then id say you are right to go ahead and make the decision that she shall have no relationship with you or your child. Sorry you have to go through that.

[wishes2891]

You need to have him talk to her. It's his mother and he needs to man up and tell her that he loves you and she can't treat you that way anymore.