Aa
i need some help and support plz
So my husband has been farming for the last few weeks and I only see him for at the most 2 hours before bed. Well I'm 27 weeks today and I'm freaking out I'm having my baby shower this weekend. We haven't bought anything at all yet I haven't even painted the baby room yet. The plan was after the shower. Well I'm getting overwhelmed and sad. Cause now its just hitting me that I have 3 months to go and I no nothing about kids and I'm so scared that I'm gonna do something wrong. Well I brought this up to my husband when he came home this evening and it was nothing but a fight and he made me feel worse. I tried to explain to him that I'm scares to death and he turned it in to that I regret getting pregnant and that's not the case. I'm enjoying this pregnancy it has gone great but just cause I'm scared that I'm going to do something wrong when I'm caring for our daughter scares me. I am not good at many things and I want to be the best mom that I can be.
My feeling are so hurt that he was there for me when I'm crying my eyes out and all he has to say is well ur not the only one out there that has dosent no anything about kids and had a baby. I really don't care about everybody else that dosent help me at all. Anyways I don't no what to do I'm so sad my heart hurts he hurt my feelings so bad. I have dome my reading and research but it's not the same. I have every right to be nervous. I don't want to mess up a lil humans life.
Sorry for rambling I'm just lost
My feeling are so hurt that he was there for me when I'm crying my eyes out and all he has to say is well ur not the only one out there that has dosent no anything about kids and had a baby. I really don't care about everybody else that dosent help me at all. Anyways I don't no what to do I'm so sad my heart hurts he hurt my feelings so bad. I have dome my reading and research but it's not the same. I have every right to be nervous. I don't want to mess up a lil humans life.
Sorry for rambling I'm just lost
OK, first of all, ask your hormones to take a five-minute break.
a) It DOESN'T MATTER if the baby's room is painted now. It doesn't even matter if the baby's room is painted by the time the baby is born. Do you think Martha Stewart is going to come out of your womb and complain that the room should be turquoise and brown and the curtains are not in the right style? There will be lots of time to do things to the baby's room between now and 40 weeks, and lots more time afterward. You and the baby are not going to be having such stimulating conversations that you will be too busy to break away, for, oh, ten years at least.
b) It DOESN'T MATTER if you haven't bought anything yet. That was wise of you! Good for you! Because ... you will get all this stuff at the shower, and every darn thing you would have bought will wind up being duplicated by someone giving it to you at the shower, which would have annoyed you very much. There is time between now and the baby's birth to go shopping. There is also a lot of time after the baby's birth. Babies are portable, and taking them along is one of the most fun parts about going to Babies R Us.
c) Your husband should have been more sympathetic. Oh, well. This is not the first time or the last that he is not going to be exactly in tune with you about the baby or the pregnancy or the responsibilities of parenthood. Men think: I am going to be a father, so I have to PROVIDE. Women think: I am going to be a mother, so I have to NURTURE. He is not on the nurture wavelength, he is on the provide wavelength, as witnessed by his long, long hours and hard work. Good for him, TELL HIM YOU APPRECIATE HOW HARD HE IS WORKING. He doesn't know what to do with a crying pregnant bride, he knows how to work extra hard. Tell him that it is helping. (Even if you don't give a da mn at the moment.) It will help him a lot to hear that you noticed.
d) Find a Lamaze group or a new-moms group. They are all over the place, try your doctor's office or a church or a community center. I know so many women whose kids are now all 25 who have been together since their moms met at a new-mommies group. It will ease your worries a lot.
Write on this site, too.
OK, bring back the hormones. Oh yeah, forgot to say, though it is hard to hear, the blues and the loneliness and the fears -- a lot of it is pregnancy hormones. Try not to cry when a cat food commercial comes on TV, and you can count yourself doing well.
Take care, sweetheart. It will be OK.
a) It DOESN'T MATTER if the baby's room is painted now. It doesn't even matter if the baby's room is painted by the time the baby is born. Do you think Martha Stewart is going to come out of your womb and complain that the room should be turquoise and brown and the curtains are not in the right style? There will be lots of time to do things to the baby's room between now and 40 weeks, and lots more time afterward. You and the baby are not going to be having such stimulating conversations that you will be too busy to break away, for, oh, ten years at least.
b) It DOESN'T MATTER if you haven't bought anything yet. That was wise of you! Good for you! Because ... you will get all this stuff at the shower, and every darn thing you would have bought will wind up being duplicated by someone giving it to you at the shower, which would have annoyed you very much. There is time between now and the baby's birth to go shopping. There is also a lot of time after the baby's birth. Babies are portable, and taking them along is one of the most fun parts about going to Babies R Us.
c) Your husband should have been more sympathetic. Oh, well. This is not the first time or the last that he is not going to be exactly in tune with you about the baby or the pregnancy or the responsibilities of parenthood. Men think: I am going to be a father, so I have to PROVIDE. Women think: I am going to be a mother, so I have to NURTURE. He is not on the nurture wavelength, he is on the provide wavelength, as witnessed by his long, long hours and hard work. Good for him, TELL HIM YOU APPRECIATE HOW HARD HE IS WORKING. He doesn't know what to do with a crying pregnant bride, he knows how to work extra hard. Tell him that it is helping. (Even if you don't give a da mn at the moment.) It will help him a lot to hear that you noticed.
d) Find a Lamaze group or a new-moms group. They are all over the place, try your doctor's office or a church or a community center. I know so many women whose kids are now all 25 who have been together since their moms met at a new-mommies group. It will ease your worries a lot.
Write on this site, too.
OK, bring back the hormones. Oh yeah, forgot to say, though it is hard to hear, the blues and the loneliness and the fears -- a lot of it is pregnancy hormones. Try not to cry when a cat food commercial comes on TV, and you can count yourself doing well.
Take care, sweetheart. It will be OK.
It is normal to have these feelings in your 3rd trimester. I m on baby #3 only need a swing and due 1-3 and am feeling.the same anxiety and fears that you are having. This all will pass when your beautiful daughter arrives and you know exactly what to do. As for not having the baby's room ready don't worry about it I.think you will find it hard to leave your baby's side. I found it easier to have my daughter in a bassinet at my bed side until she slept through the night. Keep your head up what ever doesn't come naturally to you will learned.calling the way. Good luck and congrats.
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