update :( needing guidence

[jesse11]

hello everyone I am really new to this I just found out on Feb 24th that I was pregnant and about 13 weeks along only dated because it was the last and only time I had sex with my ex or anyone at all.  I called and told my ex that I was pregnant and he seemed excited however after talking to his parents they made him feel like I was just making up everything and so I told him to come with me to an appt at the dr's and he could ask anything he wanted, however he said that he couldn't afford to drive up here because he lives a couple hours away.  he wanted me to sign a medical release so that he could call my doctor and I said  I wouldn't do that because it was an invasion of my privacy but that when my doctor returned from vacation I would get him to write down my conception date and expected due date because the replacement one was trying to charge me to have him write down the estimated conception date and the due date and I wouldn't pay $75 when I knew my doctor would sign the paper for free for me.  They pretty much straight out told me that I was not pregnant and I had to provide them with proof after I had invited him to doctors appt's with me so if i wasn't that would be pretty stupid then this past friday they decided that his parents wanted to talk to my mother however she has been sick and I haven't gotten much of a chance to sit down and talk with her so I didn't tell her because my sister told be that It was not a good time to because if she is too stressed she would be hospitalized as she is a cancer patient and we have had several close to family deaths within the month.  I told his mom that I would talk to my mom and then have her call them in a few days after we worked out our issues.  (they were rude like this after I had stated that I did not want his money that wasn't why I had called and I had told him that if he didn't want it I would figure out how to raise the baby with my family alone as I have a good paying job and a great family) However saturday night I started to bleed a lot and went in to the hospital and they told me that I was miscarrying they had done an emergency US and they said they baby had not grown since about 11 weeks and gave me medication through an iv to help me finish miscarrying and sent me home after with pain killers.  I spent yesterday in bed bawling my eyes out and feeling like everything was my fault.  I am really upset which I know is understandable because I got really excited for the baby I mean I had even picked out which crib I was going to get for the baby.  And now I don't know how to tell the dad and his parents that there is no baby now without them saying that I am lying because right now I really don't think that I can handle it.  (I thought about asking my sister to call them, but she doesn't know how rude they were too me through all of this and if they were rude to her like they have been to me making me cry everytime and treating me like a liar there would be a huge over the phone fight) I have NEVER been called a liar so many times in my life and I really don't know what to do please if anyone has some help, guidence, ideas, or even just comforting words right now it is all greatly appreciated I am really upset and lost :'(

[jesse11]

thank you guys I am stuck at work today and honestly it is so hard to deal with and I feel kind of like a zombie walking around here today and I don't know if it is just the pain killers (I don't really think so though) and I just want to be somewhere else I am so emotional too.  It is just really hard I never thought that I would have to go through this so soon I mean I was on birth control and took it faithfully at the same time every day and used condoms I really have no idea how I got pregnant other then a gift from god, but it leaves you wondering why he would bless me  with it just to take it away so quickly after I found out and got excited.  So many questions go through your head and it is so hard to deal with.  I really appreciate your help and I wish that I could take some me time but unfortunately I write my final exams for class on thursday and saturday so I have to study and finish my practicum hours I don't even get a break to relax until after saturday.  I think a couple ladies from my class are going to go out after or before class to blow off some steam though.  Is there any advice that you can give me to help me get through this as I do not have support from my ex and just health wise too I mean I already passed a lot of blood and my doctor is pretty sure I passed almost all the tissue saturday night how long will this keep going on for though?  I work in health care but I work on the ambulance I am just there when people need us the most then we take them to the hospital so I don't have any background with this kind of experience :'(

[haz1104]

u have to take it easy on urself nowadays things arent gonna b solved by telling them ur not pregnant anymore nor will they believe u..ppl believe whatever they want to believe

..so i suggest u ignore them completely just txt him telling him u miscarried and that u dont want anything from him and ask him never to contact u anymore..this sends a quite clear msg to his family..and never pick up on him nor call him..if he cares..he'll come back..trust me..

and maybe miscarrying was God's msg to u that he's not the one and doesnt deserve to b ur baby's father, or maybe its not the right time for u guys to b united with a baby!

now apart from the problems I'd like to suggest that u go to the spa or do something to spoil urself for a change..something that will take ur mind off all this stress..

u Deserve a peaceful time now that uv been thru so much alone...just watch out for urself and ur family this is what lasts in the end

best of luck!

[Sheaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  If he and his family are being that disrespectful, then I would just leave it alone.  I wouldn't make any phone call or anything.  They weren't supportive of you to begin with, you and him are no longer together, and from what you have said, they aren't local.  Take this time to focus on you.  Things happen for a reason, and as much as that ***** to hear, it's true.  My angel grew wings last year, so I know what it's like to go through this - but it was a blessing in disguise.  My husband and I realized we were not ready for a baby, no matter how bad we wanted one.  We have since worked on us first, and are now finally ready to try again - which we are doing this week.  It's understandable that you would have done anything in your power for this baby, but in hindsight, would you have really wanted this child to grow up with family like his?  Yes, it's an awful thing and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but you have to know that there's a higher power that knows what's best for you and your future children.  

[Beccabb]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I wouldn't tell them you  lost the baby you don't exactly need someone telling you at this time that you made the whole thing up, your going through enough pain with out them causing trouble.
Wait until your ready to deal with them, keep the call simple and speak to your ex boyfriend and only your ex his parents are nothing to do with it and you should keep it that way.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this I dont think I can even imagine your pain xx