Torn

[Dawnlete]

Hey everyone this is my 1st pregnancy and I'm 21. I'm supposedly 5 weeks and 5 days but I haven't officially went to the doctors because I might not be keeping it. The father of my child has 3 kids already and the mothers are CRAZY, but he feels I should abort mine because he doesn't want to stick me with a baby and says I have alot of potential to be someone successful and he doesn't want to stick me with something I can't handle. Plus he might be facing a LITTLE BIT OF TIME, so he said he doesn't want to miss out on getting to know his child. PLEASE HELP ME OUT, I JUST WANT SOME INSIGHT AND OPINIONS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO?!?! I really don't want to do it....but then I'm considering it...

[Dawnlete]

Thank you everyone for the comments and thoughts. ALL of you are right! I do have ALOT of doubt in my mind about doing it and yea my baby should be my motivation! I'm going to pray long and hard about this and hopefully I'll get some sort of sign. But yes yall are right I should base my decision on myself and not him. Who knows maybe this is God giving me a sign.

[VeronicaFerris]

My aunt was 15 when she got pregnant with my cousen. He is now 18. She had no support from anyone including the father. She now owns her own buesness. Graduated high school with honors. Graduated college twice and working on her third. Owns two of her own houses and 4 cars. She is amazing. Her latest goal is to set up a program for people that are in the situation she was in. If she can do it so can you. Her motivation was my cousen. Make your baby your motivation. Think about it this way... how would you feel if you had a miscarage? Forget everyone and everything else... how would you feel. If you are not okay with it then forget abortion.

[Emmers2121]

You can still be successful and go places even with a baby on board, donr let a man choose what is best for you, if abortion doesn't sit right now it never will, im sure there is someone who can help you out with this, after my baby is born im going back to college to finish my degree, and I work full time in the long run that baby will be worth it and could even be a motivation for you to finish your dreams, good luck!

[nani1824]

Had family to help also

[nani1824]

Do what you feel is best for you..I was in the same situation 4 years ago. I got pregnant with my daughter at 16 her dad already had 2 kids with someone else n didn't believe me at first n told me to have an abortion also. It is just their way of getting out of it in all reality they are not looking out for you n how you feel or how you may feel after going though with it they are just looking out for themselves. I decided to keep my baby and be done with him he went to Prison when she was 9 month olds and didn't get out till she was 4 n still has nothing to do with her ( but that's my choice) I would never put my baby though him being in out of her life. She going to be 5 tomorrow n I could honestly tell you its the best decision ive made its been very hard doing it alone but it's all worth it at the end of the day she has made my life so much better!

[Muvenda]

Baby or no baby, ur man is sure going to jail, if u abort he's gona resent u 4 killing and if u don't he's gona run away from reaponsibility to the next target. He is just making excuses. Its clear  that now that you're pregnant he does'nt want u anymore. If he was willing he wud just ask u to keep letting ur baby know that he loves it n will come home soon. Anyway its your choice, it does'nt matter what we say. Do whats best for u.

[mommy2be092014]

I went thru this 3years ago, my "boyfriend" was upset we got pregnant we were only 20 and he wanted not to be tied down, we had been "together" for almost 3yrs then but he was screwin around with others cus we weren't official and I knew about it. But he said it was him or the baby and my mom started chiming in telling me I'm ruining my life so I let them convince me to abort, to this day I wish I would have never walked in the clinic I regret my decision and I hated them both for talking me into it. I still do I always will. I got so depressed I wanted to die. I had told him if we ever got pregnant again it was the baby I will choose not him he could leave he understood why.

Three years later exactly I found out I was pregnant again (same guy) we now have been "together" for six years and its just us and we made it official a while back... This time he was upset at first because I got pregnant on birth control (but was on an antibiotic) they cancel eachother out (surprise ) anyway after a few days he cooled down and knew I wasn't ever going to do what happened last time and we are older now and more stable and he's still apprehensive but he's happy. We are stressed don'tget me wrong but happy ...

Please don't make the same mistake I did and listen to him, its your body and your choice if you even have a tiny doubt in your mind do NOT do it you will have a piece missing in your life forever... Not worth it... Also its painful the procedure they do... I hope this helps coming from someone who experienced your issue... Good luck

[ravenamaru]

I'mAfraid That Because Of Personal Agendas, People May Try To Sway You Against Abortion OR Even Keeping ThE Child.... I Can Not Stress Enough That It Is A Choice Only You Can Make. Do What You Feel Is Right And DOnt Look Back.

[GeekMom1213]

Take a solid look at your situation. Do you have a good job with good insurance? Do you have a stable.living situation? Would you be able to afford to fully support yourself and your child, since the father doesn't seem to be too reliable of a guy and you'll probably be forced to chase him through the courts for child support for 18 years? Can you afford childcare and doctors visits and clothes and toys and diapers on your salary and still have time to devote to bonding and playing and loving this child? Do you have supportive family nearby who can help you, do you have a strong support system so you aren't on your own?
Only you can make this choice but the father has already made it pretty clear how involved he plans to be. There are lots of successful single moms put there but you don't have to put yourself in that situation unless you choose to. You do have options.
I had an abortion 12 years ago when I was 18. I have never been able to forget it but I have never once regretted my decision. My boyfriend at the time, when I told him I was pregnant, said "well you must have been sleeping around, that's not my baby" and walked - the lying prick. My mother said "I've already raised my babies, I'm not raising another one". And I said "if I don't finish my education and get qualified for a career I'll end up a welfare mom and a statistic". I refused to put myself and a child into a situation in which I was unable to provide the basics. It was the hardest choice I ever made but I am thankful every day for my strength in making that choice. Now I am a nurse with a wonderful loving fiance and our amazing three-year-old son is the highlight of every day.
No matter what you choose there are people who will give you dirty looks and judge you. This is not about any of those people. This is about you and your life and your future. Picture yourself five years down the road in each situation. Be honest with yourself. Parenthood is amazing and rewarding and wonderful but it is very very hard. You are very young and you have time. Best of luck making your choice, don't let anyone bully you one way or the other. Just have faith in yourself and your strength and you will find your answer.

[rebeccaann11]

Ask family or friends if they would be willing to help if you are working or in college. All my family stepped up to help my sister with her 3 kids, she got her ged and a degree.
It is scary now. But everything will work out. Im sorry but he doesnt sound like he would be a good dad anyways or good support while you are pregnant. Just think every thing through.
You have three options. Only you can know what would be best for you.

[mommy_again23]

Just base your decision on your own thoughts and feelings, not the fathers or anyone else's. Cause ultimately the responsibility is all in you hands. I personally choose abortion over adoption for my own personal beliefs and point of view. Either choice you make make sure it best fits you and your outlook of life (:

[canadiana]

Don't let anyone else talk you into an abortion, because you will regret it later. Decide for yourself... Do you want this baby? If you do, keep it, and raise it and love it on your own. He sounds very manipulative and self serving. If he doesn't want another kid, he should stop impregnating women. He has no say over whether or not you keep this baby. Just make sure that if you do get an abortion, it's because you want it, not because he told you to.

[Jess9711]

Its funny that he has said he wants you to abort, but is worried about not spending time with his child???

It strikes me chuck that you need to be selfish and think about how you will feel after this. If he is facing time you will have to cope with the emotions afterwards alone. Have a baby isn't as much as a stigma as it used to be many young mothers go on to be successful in live..... mainly through being a great mother!!!


My honest opinion is this..... do you love this guy? Will he be there no matter what for the rest of ur life? Because your baby will.

[ravenamaru]

You Don't Need A Man To Love Your Child So Long As You Do.

[ravenamaru]

Adoption Is Another Option, BuT Its A Business, And ThereAre Kids World Wide Waiting For Parents That Will Never Come. I Considered Adoption With My First, But ChoSE To Step UpAnd Make It Work. It Did. I CaN Say That Our Life And Family Is Wonderful.

[rebeccaann11]

Its your choice, but if you decide you dont want the baby. Look into adopting. Its a great thing. You could also find a family that would still be willing to let you see the child. So you wouldnt miss out on your childs life. If he doesnt want the baby, fine, but listen to your heart. Later on down the road you could find a great guy who will love your child like their own.

[sprmom87]

I was 17 with my first and graduated high school with my class, and 22 with my second and finished college because I refused to be a statistic. My first childs father is in and out of jail, is in and out of her life and it does really mess with her, she has abandonment issues and she is 9 and understands whats going on. This is something you have to decide if you can do on your own, because it seems like he is bassically telling you he isn't going to be around...It is not going to be easy no matter what you decide, I wont lie, and having some kind of support around you no matter what you decide is also important mentally and physically.

[ravenamaru]

ItSounds Like Your Only Considering Abortion Because Of Him...That Is A TErrible Reason. If YOU WantAn Abortion, Think Twice Or Three Times. Think About What You May Regret With Each Option, And Then Make A Choice Based On What YOU Feel.

[Emmilee_Kate]

Have you thought about adoption? And in my personal opinion it sounds like your baby's father is trying to pressure you. Of course he doesn't want another one. He is probably up to his neck in child support. Remember this is your decision. Wish you all the best!

[mommyof3plus2otw]

U were given this blessing for a reason. If you have any doubts whatsoever then you shouldn't follow through with it. You can end up regretting this decision to abort. You follow your heart no matter what he's telling you. Although he could be facing jail time that does not mean you cannot raise a child on your own for a while and still be successful. There are women out there that do it everyday. It can be hard but you can do it. Abortion is a hard choice. And before you go through with it you should think long amd hard about your decision.

[evaamariee15]

Don't do it! My baby father told me those exact words! But I decided to keep it and I love it I love my baby and I was sad at first but I figured that it was his lost not mine I have all the support from my parents and friends that's all you need I think you should keep it (: