Hi
Never posted in anything like this before but here we go.
My bf and I have been together 4 years, we still don’t live with eachother yet but spend time together where we can with work permitting. I have a daughter from previous relationship in her early teen years and her and I have a very close bond.
Bf is 43 and I am 31, he lives with his best friend and they both work offshore majority of the time.
When him and I aren’t together, him and his best pal go out drinking ALL the time. He stays up drinking til 1-2am, even later sometimes, then comes and sees me next day, tired unshaven and croaky, sometimes still faintly smelling of booze - lucky girl. It’s becoming silly now, as it is always the night before we see eachother that he does it or he will cancel plans we have to go out with his best pal and drink the night away. I’ve always said that he needs downtime as we all do sometimes as we work hard but this is getting ridiculous!! He’s acting like a teen! He text the other night at 2am saying he was cooking food, he was drunk out of his head even though he claimed he wasn’t and thought it was funny. I don’t find that funny.
We have previously talked about living together and he wants to save up as much as possible first, fine, that’s sensible, but all this behaviour is why It’s not something I’m rushing into because it would be like living with another child! I don’t want my daughter living with some immature twit trying to relive his more youthful years.
Why should I constantly be under the pressure to look my best, make the reservations constantly, book the holidays, plan the day for our time together when he can’t even be bothered to try and go to bed at a decent hour or get a grip that he isn’t a teen anymore?! His behaviour annoys me immensely and it’s embarrassing....so I end up staying awake myself unable to sleep out of sheer frustration. I am dating an older man for a reason, for the maturity and the life experience meaning I can hold a conversation with them etc, this is not that!
Advice please!! I’m worried about his liver/general health if this carries on, worried about his mental state and him in general as I don’t want this to break us apart but it will in the end.
Background info: he lost his mum about 10 years ago, is an only child and has had many a failed relationship prior to me.