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At what age is too old for a daughter to kiss her dad on the lips?
I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years now. His daughter is almost 17 years old. She cuddles with him on the couch, kissing on his shoulder, kissing on his arms, rubbing on his stomach. She was lying on the couch with him, she had her head on his lap and he was rubbing her back. She laid there for hours that day. She kisses him on the lips before she goes to bed at night. She runs around the house in her bra and underwear all time. She is even now starting to run upstairs naked while her dad sits on the couch and can clearly see her running upstairs. She says "Daddy" dont look im naked. And yes she still calls him "Daddy", and talks like a baby around him. It drives me crazy when she does this. I have tried talking to my bf about this and he just says she is "Daddy's" little girl and always will be. I feel I always will be second best to her. I mean I have been putting up with it for 2 years now. I raised one daughter of my own and I have never ever saw anything like this. My bf says it is normal for a daughter to kiss and rub all over her "daddy", I told him no its not normal for a daughter at her age to do this. She even came into his bedroom not too long ago and crawled in bed with us. Laying her head on her daddy's shoulder, then she started kissing it. I got up and left the bedroom. I refuse to sit there while this is going on. I cant take it. It freaks me out.
This seems to be a rather sore subject for you.
The fact of the matter is...society DOES indicate what is considered to be "normal" and what is "abnormal". You may not like it, you don't have to agree with it...but it is what it is.
There's nothing wrong with you and your daughter kissing on the lips. However, there are a lot of people who would not agree with being complacent about your 16 year old daughter walking around the house naked in front of her father. That's NOT because it makes you sexually inappropriate, it's more about privacy, modesty, and teaching your daughter about having respect for her body...not just freely showing it to anyone. She's growing into a young woman, and again, whether you like it or not, society dictates it's just not appropriate for a father to be seeing his grown daughter naked...especially on a regular basis.
Her coming to you to discuss boys and sex is fine. Great in fact. It's lovely to know that a young woman is comfortable enough with her Daddy to have those kinds of discussions.
No one has said, or even insinuated that, because of the way you act in your home, that you're not a good Dad. And, you keep getting so caught up with this idea that society's rule are the way they are (about the nudity issue) ONLY because of sexual predators. That's not at all the way I see it...there's a lot more to it than that. No one is telling you to change your ways...just trying to explain that it is not the "norm". Plenty of people stray from the "norm". If your set up is working for you...then great, but I think it would behoove you to sort of accept that because you're going against the "norm", people are going to have reactions to that.
I know for myself...I teach my daughter that her body is a temple. She's 14. She has a beautiful figure and has blossomed into a young lady already. When we go on family vacations, with my father, and her uncle, I stress the need for her to NOT wear the skimpiest bikini she can find, because I feel it is inappropriate around those male family members. Ive taught her to be proud of her looks, her body, etc...but to respect it. I've told her that there are some parts of her body that shouldn't be revealed, and that when she is older and enters into a relationship, she needs to take the decision of showing her body to someone very seriously. She's not at all prudish, and she understands what I've taught her. Sometimes, at home, I think her shorts are a tad bit short...or a top may be a bit too tight...and while I'm not overly strict, I will sometimes tell her she needs to change. Not even so much because she is around her Dad, but because we have company over frequently that includes adult male friends. I just don't approve of her showing so much of her body.
Cultures vary all over the world. Look at some of the middle eastern countries, where it is actually a CRIME for women to show more than their eyes and nose. They wear burkas to cover literally everything. As Americans, we think that's extreme. That's kind of what I'm trying to say...there are different comfort levels with these kinds of things...and you may not like it...but you're just NOT going to change the societal views about stuff like that.
The fact of the matter is...society DOES indicate what is considered to be "normal" and what is "abnormal". You may not like it, you don't have to agree with it...but it is what it is.
There's nothing wrong with you and your daughter kissing on the lips. However, there are a lot of people who would not agree with being complacent about your 16 year old daughter walking around the house naked in front of her father. That's NOT because it makes you sexually inappropriate, it's more about privacy, modesty, and teaching your daughter about having respect for her body...not just freely showing it to anyone. She's growing into a young woman, and again, whether you like it or not, society dictates it's just not appropriate for a father to be seeing his grown daughter naked...especially on a regular basis.
Her coming to you to discuss boys and sex is fine. Great in fact. It's lovely to know that a young woman is comfortable enough with her Daddy to have those kinds of discussions.
No one has said, or even insinuated that, because of the way you act in your home, that you're not a good Dad. And, you keep getting so caught up with this idea that society's rule are the way they are (about the nudity issue) ONLY because of sexual predators. That's not at all the way I see it...there's a lot more to it than that. No one is telling you to change your ways...just trying to explain that it is not the "norm". Plenty of people stray from the "norm". If your set up is working for you...then great, but I think it would behoove you to sort of accept that because you're going against the "norm", people are going to have reactions to that.
I know for myself...I teach my daughter that her body is a temple. She's 14. She has a beautiful figure and has blossomed into a young lady already. When we go on family vacations, with my father, and her uncle, I stress the need for her to NOT wear the skimpiest bikini she can find, because I feel it is inappropriate around those male family members. Ive taught her to be proud of her looks, her body, etc...but to respect it. I've told her that there are some parts of her body that shouldn't be revealed, and that when she is older and enters into a relationship, she needs to take the decision of showing her body to someone very seriously. She's not at all prudish, and she understands what I've taught her. Sometimes, at home, I think her shorts are a tad bit short...or a top may be a bit too tight...and while I'm not overly strict, I will sometimes tell her she needs to change. Not even so much because she is around her Dad, but because we have company over frequently that includes adult male friends. I just don't approve of her showing so much of her body.
Cultures vary all over the world. Look at some of the middle eastern countries, where it is actually a CRIME for women to show more than their eyes and nose. They wear burkas to cover literally everything. As Americans, we think that's extreme. That's kind of what I'm trying to say...there are different comfort levels with these kinds of things...and you may not like it...but you're just NOT going to change the societal views about stuff like that.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't think it is the whole of society but rather when a new partner enters the picture stoney. We all have our own way of living life in our own home. I will say that I probably wouldn't love my kids just waltzing through the house naked at the age of 16 nor would I do that myself as I do believe in privacy and modesty but that is my opinion on that only. I too hope to be affectionate with my children even when they are older. I have boys and see nothing wrong with kissing, cuddling and hugging them forever even though we are of the opposite sex. good luck
i am curious , do you think it is not right for you , or that it is not right for them ? if you think it is not right for them , i would say .. shouldnt they be the ones to decide what is right for them ?
you said you dont think there is anything sexual going on . so what exactly is it that you think is wrong ? is it wrong for a father / daughter to have an affectionate , secure , loving , non sexual relationship ?
my daughter is 16 . she is comfortable being naked around me , and routinely walks from her bedroom to the bathroom naked . she almost always kisses me on the lips when she kisses me . we say i love you to each other every day . we frequently hug each other . she prefers to talk to me when she has questions about sex or boys .
it is a very good thing when a father / daughter , despite our societies disturbing views regarding sexuality , are able to have an open , loving , affectionate ,relationship .
you said you dont think there is anything sexual going on . so what exactly is it that you think is wrong ? is it wrong for a father / daughter to have an affectionate , secure , loving , non sexual relationship ?
my daughter is 16 . she is comfortable being naked around me , and routinely walks from her bedroom to the bathroom naked . she almost always kisses me on the lips when she kisses me . we say i love you to each other every day . we frequently hug each other . she prefers to talk to me when she has questions about sex or boys .
it is a very good thing when a father / daughter , despite our societies disturbing views regarding sexuality , are able to have an open , loving , affectionate ,relationship .
She does come first bc she is his daughter
I am 25 n at 17 I would never get in bed with my dad kissing his shoulder that's what lovers do or run around my house nude that's just sick! N 4 u 2 even feel its not right is not a good sign I'm sure your a clever lady to no its not normal at all She is not a child n her father is not right in the head to be acting like this with his own daughter none of my friend or family would ever agree with it. It sound to me like something wired has been going on here n yes u should call child services I would not let my child be around these strange people...
To me it seems like the daughter wants attention from her father, and that she might have her father rapped around her finger and will do whatever it takes to get his attention. At the same time her father needs to step up and say you need to cover yourself up and respect for everyone wishes in the house, and not let it to continue to go on. I feel the father needs to be the parent here.
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