Cheating question for the men - debate for the women

Question

How do men really feel after they cheat on their family?  What is going through your mind?  Would it be thoughts of the "fling" you just had?  Or, would you be thinking - **** - I hope my wife doesn't smell her on me.  Or, would it be, damn I am so lukcy, look at this beautiful family I have right in front of me... why in the hell am I doing this to them?  Could you possibly think that it was too easy and no one will find out, so why not do it again?  Would the day seem brighter to you?  Would this new fling make you feel like a kid again on the inside?

Cheating is ALL AROUND us these days.  I keep hearing RUMORS that Doctor PHIL has cheated on his wife!  Is this true?  Has the good doctor really been slipping and sliding with someone other than his perfect wife?

I know that no one is perfect, no marriage is perfect.  The divorce rate has skyrocketed.  The divorce rate for remarriage marriages are even HIGHER.  The expected life span for a remarriage is less than 5 years.  The life of a "second wife" is next to impossible to live.  She feels lonely in a full house, and will most likely stray before the remarried man that she married.  Women cheat just as much as men.

After a divorce, or a long relationship, adults do not take the time to rebuild themselves before entering into a new relationship.  They take the left over baggage that was from their previous relationship and they just move into the new one.  The baggage collects dust and never gets moved.  The relationship gets old and the cheating begins.  Someone new to invent yourself with.

NO, I am not cheating on my Fiance'.  NO, my Fiance' is not cheating on me.  I am surrounded by it, we all are.  Is there any protection from it?  I don't think so.

kjbandme · Answer

he's probably cheating on you

Jasmine205 · Answer

Nopes, I can find other men attractive but I don't want to have sex with them, certainly not when I am in love with a guy I'm dating and committed to..definitely No!
I'd never cry over some random guy I don't know.. I have no emotional attachment or investment in them.
I can say whatever I like, because I am saying my own personal ideas, and wasn't  judging anyone elses, right?


Exactly, mami. I don't want to betray the trust of someone who loves me, I know how awful that would be.

mami1323 · Answer

I'm with Jasmine.  I couldn't and wouldn't cheat on my partner.  No matter how bad our relationship gets.  I would just walk away rather than damage the relationship in that way.  It's not judgement.  Some people can think of consequences of their actions and therefore not go down that road.

george73 · Answer

have you ever been in the position and wanted to? or gone home and cried because you couldn't? don't say to much till you have 'walked a mile in someone else's shoes' If you have been in that position then i respect you for it! Not to many people would say that and mean it!

Jasmine205 · Answer

I agree everyone may have the potential to cheat as we are only human, but I think for a lot of us sex is equal to love and not lust and we want so much more than sex.
I know in my heart of hearts I will NOT cheat, I don't say this because I feel like I'm such a goodie goody its just what I know about myself.

SeriousSam · Answer

Meph. Tut, Faustus, 
Marriage is but a ceremonial toy ; 
And if thou lovest me, think no more of it. 
I'll cull thee out the fairest courtesans, 
And bring them every morning to thy bed ; 
She whom thine eye shall like, thy heart shall have; 
Be she as chaste as was Penelope, 
As wise as Saba,1 or as beautiful
As was bright Lucifer before his fall.

SeriousSam · Answer

I'm with you on this I do believe.

george73 · Answer

what ever happened to 'till death do us part'? I think people are becoming very selfish and corrupt. we need to think of others more and ourselves less. Every one of us has the potential to cheat. don't kid yourselves. we don't know each other and can be brutally honest here. i have thought all the time BUT i don't act on them. we need to stop putting our selves in diffacult situation when we know we are vulnerable. thank God one guy told me i was just mad at my hubby and he would NEVER do anything to wreak a marraige as his wife had. only when and if i made a permanent decission would anything ever happen. now he was a REAL MAN! i have great respect for him. i think if we are good friends with who we are attracted to it can also help to be completly honest with that person and say yes we are attracted and it is very hard not to but i won't for these reasons. hope fully we all have the morals that God gave us.

peekawho · Answer

I never think about it, to be honest.

Jasmine205 · Answer

I think for myself I have a few trusts issues to begin with so the thought of, wonder if? sits in my mind, and it causes trouble. 
I, myself have never cheated on anyone before and can't see myself ever doing so, not even revenge cheating, I don't see the purpose of doing that.
I also don't feel my current bf is or would cheat on me, we have very similar backgrounds, morals and I think right off we told each other that we should be honest and if thoughts come about he should discuss it with me..
I think he would and we would break before he did anything elsewhere.

burningheart · Answer

I have cheated before. I would feel pangs of guilt but mostly I felt I deserved it. My man at home was giving me trouble and I needed to be with someone who treated me the way I wanted to be treated. Another time I cheated on a guy that I really didn't care about so that I could be with another guy that I did care about. The first guy found out and broke up with but I didn't care. I kept seeing the other guy for about 2 yrs. I think that some people feel they deserve to cheat - they do it for them because they aren't getting enough attention at home. Or maybe home is stressfull and the other man/woman is fun and free and easy. The older I get the less I would do that b/c it just too hard keeping everything straight, like names. Besides, when I met someone I truely loved, I had no desire to cheat. Why eat hamburger when you have steak at home?

MrsOckert · Answer

I believe there is a group of people that will cheat and a group of people that will not.  I'm so very sorry that you feel your life is surrounded by it and by some of the comments you've made here and there I gather you have very difficult time with the exes and inlaws and various other people in your life.  You have a very hard road to travel and my sympathies are with you.

There is a great number of people (I say people because it is men and women) who don't cheat on their spouses, both first and second marriages.  I know what the statistics are but luckily in my circle of friends and acquaintances marriages are strong and lasting and committed.

mami1323 · Answer

Who knows what men or women think when they are cheating.  My fiance said he felt extreme guilt after every encounter but kept doing it.  He didn't know why.  I think he felt excitement, his needs were being fulfilled by someone because I was too busy to do it because I had been taking care of our new baby.  Or during my pregnancy when I had no sex drive.  I think she stroked his ego, maybe filled the void because I was neglecting him.  He always says I didn't pay attention to his needs.  Whatever, my needs were being ignored to, I was just mature about it and communicated to him how I felt.  I didn't go out and cheat.  I think it's a lack of family values, morals and maturity.  I would never and could never do that to someone I love.  I couldn't live with myself if I did.  I would never want to see someone hurting because of my selfish actions.  But not every one thinks like I do.  So I can't really answer your question.  But I knew Dr. Phil was a cheater, just like Bill Cosby and any other man you hold a higher respect for.  I think it's hard to be faithful with all the temptation out there.  Who knows really.