Controled

[stressed091865]

What to do with my boyfriend of 5yrs? My boyfriend is controlling. He expects me call all the time , when i'm off work or if I go to the store instead of home. He wants me to tex him all the time, when I leave for the morning and during the day, and when I get off. We argue lots . I don't know what to do . I asked for a separation but he refuses . I got a new job as a Store Manager and it has been hectic learning a new position. It has been a challenge but I like my new job. I've been working long hours and 7 days per week since jan2012. I finally got an assistant to help but now we are so apart and its been hard to have patience so I'm sooooo stressed.  

[AHP84]

You asked him for a separation? Why do you feel you need his permission to have a separation?
Just separate from him if that's what you want to do. Better yet, break up with him for good. If you are asking him to control your life, then he will.

[TTinKKerBBell]

We are all concerned here.  On the list of "red flags", this is BIG.  I see this the same as SpecialMom - this will probably become worse.  A boyfriend who is this controlling will  probably feel "entitled" to demand more control as a husband.  It often becomes physical as well.
Good Luck

[Londres70]

Your statement..."I asked for a separation but he refuses." ....  You don't need a separation you need to leave him period.   Take your life and power back.

[AnnieBrooke]

It kind of sounds like you feel that if you explain enough (to us or to him) about your reasons, he will somehow change his ways.  Honey, he isn't going to change his ways.  Face it, say goodbye.  

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, if you asked for a seperation, how can he refuse??  How can he force you to be with him?  

Dating is dating and one is able to walk away from a relationship that isn't working.  

I think it is time to do this.  Controlling men are insecure and usually get worse over time and not better.  If you don't call---  what does he do?  Is he violent??  Are you afraid of him being mad at you and when mad, what does he do??  

I ask this because you have been putting up with this for five years and haven't walked away yet.  Your post indicates that you'd like to. I would say----  just do it.  And think about why you stayed so long.  Many would not put up with a man like this and that you did is something for you to think about why . . .  as these patterns can repeat and I don't want you to get into this situation again.

I think it is time to enjoy your new job and start fresh.  You sound like this is what you want and he should not be able to force you to be with him.  g

good luck