Aa
Failing in Asia
Sorry this is kind of a long story so I will try to make it as brief as possible.
Successful American male, earning 6 figures, marries an Asian girl. Girl insists on moving back to her home country. Husband sends his wife to Asia at least 4 months out of the year to visit home. Still not good enough.... Wife stipulates move or divorce.
Husband can not survive in Asia, does not speak the language. Eventually a baby is born. The wife really starts to make strong demands or returning home. So after 5 years of marriage in the US, couple moves to Asia. Husband now works 6-7 days a week, as opposed to 4.5 days a week in America. Husband is required to travel often.
Family now lives in the mother in laws house, husband is now treated as a fly on a wall. No longer treated as an important figure, relationship is really no longer treated as a relationship, more like an association of two individuals. No privacy, no intimacy.... Sex is minimal 3 times in 7 months to be exact. Wife states she has no intimate desires for her husband at all, and that it is not due to lack of husbands attractive looks. She states she is just sexually "TURNED OFF" period. She is not on any medications, The lack of sex within the marriage has lasted for 3 years. Husband and wife sleep in seperate rooms.
Husband, out of desperation finally had an affair.... and believes he may be in love with the other woman.
Husband does not want a divorce, does not want to lose his son, or a large amount of his wealth and in some respects still loves his wife.
This particular asian culture does support the practice of having a "minor wife" but he does not know if this could work...
He is dyeing inside.
Child has dual citizenship, without a doubt the mother would be granted custody. Wife, through her husband is already has 100% ownership of rental property which provides the income of twice the average citizen in her home country. If there was a divorce she would retain the property because foreingers can not own land in her country. She would also recieve 20% of husbands income for child support & half of all of his savings. In short, she would be extremely rich.
Advice?
Successful American male, earning 6 figures, marries an Asian girl. Girl insists on moving back to her home country. Husband sends his wife to Asia at least 4 months out of the year to visit home. Still not good enough.... Wife stipulates move or divorce.
Husband can not survive in Asia, does not speak the language. Eventually a baby is born. The wife really starts to make strong demands or returning home. So after 5 years of marriage in the US, couple moves to Asia. Husband now works 6-7 days a week, as opposed to 4.5 days a week in America. Husband is required to travel often.
Family now lives in the mother in laws house, husband is now treated as a fly on a wall. No longer treated as an important figure, relationship is really no longer treated as a relationship, more like an association of two individuals. No privacy, no intimacy.... Sex is minimal 3 times in 7 months to be exact. Wife states she has no intimate desires for her husband at all, and that it is not due to lack of husbands attractive looks. She states she is just sexually "TURNED OFF" period. She is not on any medications, The lack of sex within the marriage has lasted for 3 years. Husband and wife sleep in seperate rooms.
Husband, out of desperation finally had an affair.... and believes he may be in love with the other woman.
Husband does not want a divorce, does not want to lose his son, or a large amount of his wealth and in some respects still loves his wife.
This particular asian culture does support the practice of having a "minor wife" but he does not know if this could work...
He is dyeing inside.
Child has dual citizenship, without a doubt the mother would be granted custody. Wife, through her husband is already has 100% ownership of rental property which provides the income of twice the average citizen in her home country. If there was a divorce she would retain the property because foreingers can not own land in her country. She would also recieve 20% of husbands income for child support & half of all of his savings. In short, she would be extremely rich.
Advice?
Peekawho
She gave up her green card... she actually had enough time in the US for file for citenzinship, which she did, but did not want to wait around for the paper work to get finished.
So after being out side of the US for over 1 year, poof goes the green card.
So technically if I went home on vacation.... I don't think she could follow. Technically I think after 3 years I could file for divorce based on "abandoment" blame it all on her and keep a large portion of the money. But as you know I still lose my son.
She is by family, very wealthy, in this country, if she wanted to, she probably could gather the means to form some type of legal retaliation. What it would be I have no idea.
Heck truth is in this country... the cops are for hire, and they do wet work for cheap. I am not saying that she would do that, but my point is, it is the wild west out here & it is pretty common to read about a wife "taking out" her forieng husband mostly because the money well dried up. But like I said, she is wealthy for her country in the first place.... so I am not so sure if money is a huge incentive for her to begin with. I just know, legally, she has the ability to run me dry in the case of a divorce.
Time will tell..... hey it is only sex right? Everything else is pretty fair.... but there is always that lingering tension because of it. We do not argue often, but when we do, it gets pretty ugly pretty quick because I think we both are at a boiling point deep down inside.
Things sure aint what they used to be.
Regarding staying in her country forever. If I want to remain married to her, that is pretty much the condition.
Reg. Child support. It would not be too difficult for her to make sure it is inforced on me. For what I do, requires a state license, and if you do not pay the child support, you lose the license, you lose the license you don't work. Pretty simple.
Truth is, I agree with the child support concept. It is just that I know that I have already set her up finanicially here. Technically speaking at this very moment, if she never wanted to work again, she would have enough money forever via the rental property.... twice the average income of a citizen of this country, Actually about 20-30% more than the avererage house hold income in this country. So I feel I have already done my part?
Yes, or No
She gave up her green card... she actually had enough time in the US for file for citenzinship, which she did, but did not want to wait around for the paper work to get finished.
So after being out side of the US for over 1 year, poof goes the green card.
So technically if I went home on vacation.... I don't think she could follow. Technically I think after 3 years I could file for divorce based on "abandoment" blame it all on her and keep a large portion of the money. But as you know I still lose my son.
She is by family, very wealthy, in this country, if she wanted to, she probably could gather the means to form some type of legal retaliation. What it would be I have no idea.
Heck truth is in this country... the cops are for hire, and they do wet work for cheap. I am not saying that she would do that, but my point is, it is the wild west out here & it is pretty common to read about a wife "taking out" her forieng husband mostly because the money well dried up. But like I said, she is wealthy for her country in the first place.... so I am not so sure if money is a huge incentive for her to begin with. I just know, legally, she has the ability to run me dry in the case of a divorce.
Time will tell..... hey it is only sex right? Everything else is pretty fair.... but there is always that lingering tension because of it. We do not argue often, but when we do, it gets pretty ugly pretty quick because I think we both are at a boiling point deep down inside.
Things sure aint what they used to be.
Regarding staying in her country forever. If I want to remain married to her, that is pretty much the condition.
Reg. Child support. It would not be too difficult for her to make sure it is inforced on me. For what I do, requires a state license, and if you do not pay the child support, you lose the license, you lose the license you don't work. Pretty simple.
Truth is, I agree with the child support concept. It is just that I know that I have already set her up finanicially here. Technically speaking at this very moment, if she never wanted to work again, she would have enough money forever via the rental property.... twice the average income of a citizen of this country, Actually about 20-30% more than the avererage house hold income in this country. So I feel I have already done my part?
Yes, or No
Ok, calm down, I'm not condemning you for having an affair. Trust me, I'm in NO place to judge on that one. I'm just saying, your marriage sounds like it's pretty much kaput. I'm sorry for the financial burdens you'll face if you go for divorce, but what is an improved life worth to you? You sound like a successful man who can easily get into a great job making more than enough to support yourself once back in the States. Be thankful for what you have, and what you will have if you cut this woman loose. Also, talk to a lawyer. I worked for a lawyer whose firm handled mostly "family law" cases, and courts are less slanted toward the mother these days. I've known plenty of kids who spent half their childhood w/their mother, half w/their father. Your child has two parents that love him - that makes him better off than a lot of kids no matter what your custody arrangement turns out to be. Again, be glad for what you have. Don't focus on the negativity, or you will be devoured by it. Good luck!
Have you spoken with an attorney ? I'm wondering what would happen if you could convince your wife to go on a little "vacation" in the U.S. and then tell her that you want to stay here ?
I feel for you Jimmy. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
Let me ask you a theoretical question, though. If you simply took off back to the USA, how could she gain access to all your US holdings? Of course you'd lose everything in her country, but she wouldn't be able to get your $$ here in the US without some sort of very difficult and expensive legal wrangling.
Would she be happy enough with your son and the $ she has from your assets in your country to leave you alone? Would she have the wherewithal to pursue you overseas, a long, difficult, and expensive process for something like child support? Are you going to stay in her country forever?
Just wondering.
Let me ask you a theoretical question, though. If you simply took off back to the USA, how could she gain access to all your US holdings? Of course you'd lose everything in her country, but she wouldn't be able to get your $$ here in the US without some sort of very difficult and expensive legal wrangling.
Would she be happy enough with your son and the $ she has from your assets in your country to leave you alone? Would she have the wherewithal to pursue you overseas, a long, difficult, and expensive process for something like child support? Are you going to stay in her country forever?
Just wondering.
Reg. custody...
Well in this country, they have some very strange rules/regs.
Lets say a father wants out of a relationship, he gets automtic custody of the daughters.... the wife gets automatic custody of the sons. Remember my son is a dual national, so that rule would proabably apply. Also I have a work permit... this country is not like America where green cards are given out in a pack of baseball cards. If I were to quit or loose my job I must leave the country in 7 days. My "work permit holder" is a family member....
If I did something that ticked her off, I could be thrown out of the country...
If I puchased two tickets and attmepted to take my son out of this country into America.... I bet I would get charged for kid napping.
Look folks we are talking about a country where it is LEGAL to rape your wife if she is not in the mood. THAT IS ON THE BOOKS, it is not a matter of turning a blind eye, it is the reality here. So there are some strange rules and regs here, like peekawho said, life is not all about how its done in America.
Actually she gets more than half of money and assets. How is that? Well when I purchased the land, and rental property, I had to sign a document that confirms that I have no legal claim to the property. Again foriengers can not own property period. At upon her demise, the property must be liquidated within a matter of months.... the land can not be transfered to my son, unless he is over 18 years old.
I will never build or invest in this country again. But any how, that investment was around 100K USD. So she gets the property, and then half of the liquid assets, my son, and an easy 15K a year for child support. Not too mention I did put her through her MA degree in the US. I am telling you she is set for the high life forever. At least my son is too, and essentially to me that is the most crucial part.
I am in this hook line and sinker....
Wow, it is would be funny if it were not so sad.
Well in this country, they have some very strange rules/regs.
Lets say a father wants out of a relationship, he gets automtic custody of the daughters.... the wife gets automatic custody of the sons. Remember my son is a dual national, so that rule would proabably apply. Also I have a work permit... this country is not like America where green cards are given out in a pack of baseball cards. If I were to quit or loose my job I must leave the country in 7 days. My "work permit holder" is a family member....
If I did something that ticked her off, I could be thrown out of the country...
If I puchased two tickets and attmepted to take my son out of this country into America.... I bet I would get charged for kid napping.
Look folks we are talking about a country where it is LEGAL to rape your wife if she is not in the mood. THAT IS ON THE BOOKS, it is not a matter of turning a blind eye, it is the reality here. So there are some strange rules and regs here, like peekawho said, life is not all about how its done in America.
Actually she gets more than half of money and assets. How is that? Well when I purchased the land, and rental property, I had to sign a document that confirms that I have no legal claim to the property. Again foriengers can not own property period. At upon her demise, the property must be liquidated within a matter of months.... the land can not be transfered to my son, unless he is over 18 years old.
I will never build or invest in this country again. But any how, that investment was around 100K USD. So she gets the property, and then half of the liquid assets, my son, and an easy 15K a year for child support. Not too mention I did put her through her MA degree in the US. I am telling you she is set for the high life forever. At least my son is too, and essentially to me that is the most crucial part.
I am in this hook line and sinker....
Wow, it is would be funny if it were not so sad.
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