Hit on lines for guys hitting on women

[adiesimba]

Why is it that when a guy approaches a woman (stranger to stranger) and compliments on her beauty...the woman almost always gets ticked off and responds offensively...particularly when she is accompanied by a woman friend less attractive then herself...who almost always becomes her spokeswoman!

[AnnieBrooke]

A guy walking up to a strange woman and remarking on her appearance is not seen as a friendly move, it's seen as an aggressive move.  (Why does she need a stranger to come make an evaluative statement on how her body looks?)   Would you like it if something on which you feel judged (say, your paycheck) could be seen by a stranger and he were to come up and say "Like your paycheck."  Even a supposedly positive judgment might just feel like it's none of the stranger's business, or that he has a motive for mentioning it that you don't necessarily trust.

[adiesimba]

That's the typical hostile reaction I am referring to! Pay check is no equitable analogy to honest compliments..."judgement" ain't such a bad thing...we do that all the time in life...without judging you can not move forward..be it driving a car or establishing a relation 0f sort.Why don't you just view it from an honest perspective eh?? Since when honesty is aggressive?Assertive yes...but AGGRESSIVE....e the hello???

The mating game is supposed to be an honest and straight forward process.We introduce so many "games" into it that we lose the perspective and that is why flings are all you can expect these days! And since the women set the rules...it is they who end up being victims of these so called game-rules.

I expected that reaction from a woman.But I was hoping for a more enlightening view...thank you!

[adiesimba]

Actually...I would love it if a woman came on to me and told me what she thought of me if complimentary.I have enough esteem to take it like a man! And so should any woman worth her substance!

[gdusher]

Interesting point that. I am a guy who has said a similar thing to girls before and had generally nice reactions. I see no reason whatsoever for a woman to shun a guy for giving her a compliment. As long is it is genuine and he isnt some kind of sleazy guy.

In fact I know exactly what happened in your example Adiesimba. Secretly that girl probably deep down liked to be complimented but when she was with her friend it made it awkward for her to be nice when she is either wanting to make her friend feel better as she didnt get a compliment or to put you down to show her friend that she is some kind of powerful woman that needs nothing from a man. Its all an insecurity on her part. Wouldn't worry about it. I told a girl last week that she had beautiful eyes and I wasnt lying. They are gorgeous and she saw that I meant it. She tried to hold back her smile and make nothing of it but I knew she was happy :)

[adiesimba]

Thanks man!

I meant mostly when they are two girls...the one who responds is the one for whom the compliment wasn't meant for! The beautiful one tends to be overwhelmed and remains dumbfounded!

I agree generally the reaction I get is also good...and when they are two (i must admit its tricky).. i generally try and make some kind of compliment to the other to make her feel counted...once in my early years of hit and misses...in trying to ingratiate the one i didn't mean for...she ended hitting on me back so hard...i missed my target...and she ended up dominating my courting and it became awkward for me to own up my original intentions...coz they were room mate stewardesses!!!!!! And the word got out that I was already "dating" miss silver medal!...For being polite I paid my price of missing out on miss gold medal.

Ofcourse the compliment has to be genuine and not blown out of proportion...the women have a sharper intuition than us neanderthals! But a lot depends on the git-on female's insecurities...if she doesn't rate herself well she will react like you put a thorn in her...you know where! And boy will you feel chewed that day!! But for the beauties of this world...I would risk my pride any time for her attention...I am a die hard alpha-Romeo!

[RockRose]

adiesimba,  if you walk up to two girls - one much more attractive than the other,  and speak to the pretty girl while in the company of both,  and compliment her looks,  you've just put both of them in a REALLY awkward position.    (Lord,  where is Emily Post these days).  

If you walk up to two girls,  or three girls,  who are very close in proximity and are together,  you address them ALL.   "You all look like you're having fun".   "This looks like the fun table".  "Your karaoke was fabulous,  didn't ya'll think that was great?"  

For you to horn in on one girl out of two is so awkward it makes me catch my breath,  remembering times when that has happened,  and it makes women back pedal fast.

If you're in a place where there's dancing you can pick the one out to ask her to dance,  and then talk to her alone.  But you can't interact with one of the girls and leave the other out in the cold while they're both standing or sitting together.

[adiesimba]

Rose ...I think you are just out to critique. Read my last post again...you might see that it is what I have been trying to do and mentioned that in trying to ingratiate the less attractive one i even ended up losing my target!  Please be sensitive how you critique.But some of your comments are useful enough.

And by the way...when nature presents itself with such a conundrum...you have to make a split second decision as you never know when that occasion might present itself again.In such a scenario...you hardly have the luxury of analyses and divided attention...you just do what your instincts tell you and go for the kill...but my point is...IF YOU ARE HONEST ABOUT IT...why should the other woman always be so spiteful?Sure it might hurt her ego..but hey...God created attraction with chemistry in mind.What's is meat for one is poison for another....

[el_em_en_oh]

When I walk up to 2 women, and want to compliment one of them only, I usually put my hand up in a "talk to the hand" sort of way, right in front of the ugly one's face, and say out loud, "I'm not talking to you", then I proceed to compliment the pretty one. It saves you the trouble of having to hear what the ugly girl has to say because really, who cares... she's ugly.

I'm SERIOUSLY kidding about the above, but it demonstrates a point that RockRose made. You CAN'NOT compliment one girl that's in a group, you really should compliment the group in it's entirety. Singling out one girl that's in a group, sort of 'downgrades' (for lack of a better word) the other girls in the group, and you don't want a girl's friends feeling bad about themselves, do you? Especially if you're trying to impress her.

[el_em_en_oh]

You know, I think I missed your point, but after reading what you wrote to RockRose, I see what you're saying.

Unfortunately, you're probably dealing with a case of jealousy or low self-esteem or both. The "less attractive" of the 2 girls may have a complex regarding her friends attractiveness, and will take it out on anyone that approaches (in this case, you).

But honestly, what RockRose said still stands. Compliment BOTH of them, instead of singling out your "target".

[RockRose]

I think you've really missed something important when you say "the mating game is supposed to be an honest and straightforward process".  It isn't.  That's the difference between men and women.  Men want it right now in the car or the bushes,  women can't afford to be so cavalier with their bodies and frankly really don't want to.  Women don't want that.  By and large.

Look at animals - they're certainly not straight forward.  My gosh,  look at the beautiful and complex mating rituals of fish and birds,  let alone mammals.  So you are trying to "go in for the kill" on a "target" that isn't thinking the way you are thinking at all,  she's thinking much more about taking it slow and not ending up dead in an alley or pregnant.  

You have to be aware of that.  They don't want a slam bam thank you ma'am,  and if you're going for that,  you'll have fewer girls to pick from and likely not be very pleased with the one you end up with.

I don't know how old you are,  but you'll probably grow tired of this and mature into a more meaningful stage in your relationships.

BTW - if you want to compliment a woman,  tell her she looks radiant.  No one takes offense at that,  if you offer it in the way that you really mean it (if she does) and not even her ugly friend will attack you.  It's all in the finesse.

[BluCrystal]

I like that word 'finesse'... so many men could use and learn from using quite a bit of it in dealings with women.  Know what women appreciate, things such as being the real gentleman, being laid-back and comfortable in your own skin while not being arrogant or cocky about it, using your smile to get a smile back, and never letting a woman think you are on the prowl.  Single women love to have their curiosity piqued, and to wonder 'what's up with that guy?'  When they have asked themselves that question, you will be followed by any female you caused to do it.  I have spent many years in a club-situation as a bartender.  I have seen it all.  Mostly, guys are dumb ***** when it comes to women, especially when drinking.  But once in a blue moon, along comes the one who is happy to drink a slow beer, be freindly with just about anyone, and save his best smile for the prettiest girl around.  He doesn't even have to approach her if she is single and curious.  She will approach him SOON, before another girl gets the same idea.  She will leave her freinds to fend for themselves to go check him out.  Try it.  Guaranteed to work if you can pull it off. :)

[adiesimba]

point taken...but you and rock rose both seem to miss the point that in my trying to secure my prize and when I do compliment the less attractive first...it turns the attention to her...and once ended up with a false date (re read my post) because of that and couldn't regress to my original target as they were room mates!

What i have learnt in those circumstances is be sweet to both and leave a note of sort to the apple of my eye (prepared before i go to speak to them)...they can then sort it out between them later...and i wont be there to take the flak! I learn't that from signals school.Its also like showing attention and then withdrawing it abruptly...and the curiosity kills the kitten and she comes begging to find out why!