About to blow a fuse and go mad, help please!!!

[Jennifer1987]

I came to Alaska 7 weeks ago, its my first time ever away from home, and for so long so I was a bit wary of what would happen.. Well, when I arrived I was put into a house with 14 people!!! This to me seemed a little crazy, I am so used to living with a small amount of people... So over the past 7 weeks Iv noticed who are the stronger voices in the house, the people who think they know it all when they don't... And there is one girl in particular that I seem to have a dislike to... obviously not for no reason... There is!!!  She is the type of girl who thinks she is always right, she argues things untill the other person gives up, she passes judgement all the time, in my opinion she thinks shes the bees knees.... A few weeks ago there was an earthquake here, lasted 3 seconds. So I said to a few of the people "did ye feel the earthquake earlier", so she says there was none, thats its not true, so we continue back and forth until she is proven wrong by an Alaskan native who tells her yes there was one and it was 5.2 on the richter scale... I think she does it to either show people up or for attention.. not sure....

She comes from a well off family who own their own business, has never ever had to worry about money or watching it...  I on the other hand come from a family who really aren't well off, we have enough to be comfortable, but all my life I was thought to watch what I spend, dont blow it on stupid unneccessary things (which I do on occasion)! My parents thought me the value of money.. I had to buy everything myself, my cars, insurance, tickets to Alaska, everything!!! And Im glad cause it means I respect everything that bit more....

So heres the issue that is killing me... this girl passes comment, snide remarks about what ever she wants.. Everything we do is on her terms...(we work and live together so are stuck 24/7 around eachother) . .  So the past 7 weeks I have beem biting my tongue... Until this evening when I had enough... We are supposed to be going to a place that is an 8 hour drive away.. I realised today I cant afford it and told them and said can we wait till I get paid next week.. So staright away she called me selfish, said I was lying about how much I had left (Thats the second time she said I was lying about my money in the past 7 weeks) ... I told her I wasnt lying, and said here sure take my bank card and check and she said she nearly would..  That pissed me off so I logged into my online bank and actually proved her wrong..  (Go me...) so to calm everything thing down I contacted home to see if they can send me some of my savings from there... And I think I sorted out the massive arguement we had... (Im not good in the situations where people say what ever they want just to upset you)

So what do I do now, I cant stand being near her, and I really want to just turn around and tell her to get her head out of her a$$!!!  I have 3 weeks left here, and I know its not long but being with someone 24/7 that you dont like is HARD!!! Neither of us apologised but I dont think I need to, all I said to her was that everything is on her terms after she blew up in my face!!! I hate this so much cause none of my home friends are here, and I feel like I have no-one to talk to.... The past 7 weeks are built up inside me and Im ready to just tell her what I think!!!!

Any suggestions on how I can avoid all this drama???

[Jennifer1987]

Well, I did stay on and had the best "vacation" ever... Sittin at home with no job now, really thinking about going back to America long term!!!! Just need to decide for sure!!! Im to to soft and cant handle any confrontation, bit of a walk over really I think!!! No more dealings with her though :-) was never so happy to drop here at the airport and watch her go lol.... needless to say I smiled!!!!!!!

Dani, Thanks hun!!! That visit meant a lot to me too, didnt want to leave :-( As you well know lol!!!!!!

[dani2776]

Jen,

I just want to say that I know how hard it was for you to stay in Alaska the past 3 weeks but I am so glad you did!  Had you left early we never would of had our visit and that visit meant more to me than you will ever know!

[LindaTX]

Oh, Jennifer, I am so sorry I only just now saw this thread and I'm so sorry about your bad experience with this wretched witch!  Don't let her spoil your good memories of Alaska. Think of it as a learning experience.  There's got to be something positive that can come out of it.  I wish i had been up there this summer.  You could have had my shoulder to cry on.  Our place in Wasilla didn't sell and my husband got called to work by his former employer (BP) so we are spending a big part of the summer here in Gulfport, Mississippi working with the Oil Spill.  I guess you are back home by now and glad to be.  I hope you got to go on vacation!  Write me when you get a chance and tell me everything.

[Jennifer1987]

Yea Im glad I stayed but Im really biting my tongue... I just gota get out of the house and away from her when ever I can!! I have one week left in Alaska, so Im just going to do my own thing and forget her.. Although my anxiety is on the rise because of all the tension.... but I just keep thinking there is only one week left... Then I wont have to deal with her ever again....... (I smile every time I say that ) .......

[j7653]

Hey Jen,
I'm glad you decided to stay too.  You will be glad that you did!

[mami1323]

I'm glad you have chosen to stay.  RockRose was on the money, you can't let people effect you so much in life.  You really would've regretted leaving and for what?  A stupid, immature girl who has nothing going on in her life and gets pleasure out of mistreating others.  She's obviously got some issues and instead of looking at herself, she projects onto others.  Don't let her bring you into her misery.  Enjoy your trip, this is a once in a lifetime experience.

[Jennifer1987]

Well, I spoke to my mom on skype last night and we had a chat.. So I went to bed last night still thinking I was going home, but woke today with a feeling of being a failure.. I went to work and decided the next two weeks are worth it... I kinda thought if I left now Id let so many people down, especially myself.....  And I know il go home and after a few days id regret it so much!!!!! Mom basically said that Il meet these people in every walk of life, I cant keep running from them.... Which is very true!!! Im in better form today, told myself I gota cop onto myself and toughen up!!!! (even though I am not) ... Im just getting on with things now!!!! Then I get to visit my friend which is really great!!!

[RockRose]

Jennifer,  you're wasting your time there being miserable.  This sounds like it could be a really really wonderful experience,  and you're letting her ruin it.

Yes,  you're letting her.  Other people just look the other way and go about their business but you're allowing her to ruin your time.  

You can continue to volunteer to allow her to ruin your time,  or you can stop focusing on her behavior and focus on the good in the situation as everyone else is doing.  

It's totally your choice.  I mean it.  Focusing on something else isn't that hard if you actually want to do that instead of want to be miserable and focus on her.  

[rafecu]

pray for her, whether you mean it are not, pray for her,asking for exactly what you'd pray for yourself. It well help you accept her. Good luck

[Julie359]

Well im so sorry that youve gone through hell.  She must be a serious cow for everyone to back off...wow.  The thing is it seems that because everyone does back off when she starts she has got so use to getting her own way and talking down to people.  As she comes from a well-to-do back ground and has money she feels and have learn't she can walk over everyone around her.  Alhtough she can't be that loaded cause why is she sharing a house of 14 people and working??  If i was there with you i would of told her about her life....that she anit all that and to get off her goldern pedastool.....

I so hope this doesn't put you off from doing this type of thing again, you are FAR better than her and remember that.  She is the one who has serious problems and sounds very much like she needs intensive therapy so once you leave put her out of your mind and just see this as a glitch........ ohh and stick some cat **** in her favourite shoes or something before you head out the door, she can't have a go at you once your gone!

[Jennifer1987]

Well my problem is Im shite in these situations... Can't stand having tension and cr@p  going on.. I know 2 weeks is nothing really but when you feel as low as i am it doesnt seem that way.. The probvlem with moving somewhere else is I still have to work with her... At the moment i have not seen her much in the past 2 days cause I have stayed in me room for most of it but at work I gota see and be around her.

My house mates know theres something up but to be totoally honest dont think they want to get involved... My room mate is the only one who sees it and is bulling over it all... But the last thing I want to happen is for her to get stuck between us!! When she's gobbing off everyone stays quiet, including me most times... My room mate called her up on one time but her reply was "thats just how I am" .... the thing is I have never met someone so two faced and bitchy in me entire life... I hate when thoes people  get away with treating other peopple like fools... idk, Il talk to my boss about going home tomorrow and see if I can get me money back too....  

[Julie359]

Hiya hun, can i ask have you talked with the others in the house about her?  Being so bad she must of got the others back up, can't you all take a stand against her?  Don't the others cut in and back you up when she's gobbing off?  

I know your very unhappy right now but please dont let HER run you out of town and ruin your chances to go on holiday and see your mate, she really anit worth you losing money over.  Goodness if i were there i would of backed ya up, i can be very confrontational when i need to be, i won't start it but i def will finish it...LOL

I also LOVE the idea of putting Nair in her shampoo...LOLOLOLOL, thats the kinda thing i would do, or use her toothbrush to clean the toilet after ive just expelled last nights Vindaloo.

I am sorry that you've had a horrible time and the world would be a much nicer place without jackar*es of her kind in the world, they should make an island and ship them all over to it and nuc the dam thing.

[j7653]

Im so sorry to hear that Jen.  Is there any other place that you can stay, where you could still see the friends you have made and avoid her.  Can you go see the friend early?
Jason

[Jennifer1987]

So after so much tension and smart comments from her, I have decided Im going home early....  I really cant take this anymore, and I know Im going to lose out on at least 1,700 dollars and a holiday to see a friend, but really I have been here crying all evening... I cant avoid her even though I have tried, i tried earlier to sort out the tension and stuff and basically she told me to f*ck off.... I just feel so alone, I cant be here any more...  I have gotten over so much in the past 3 months, I dont need her to pull me down!!! I cant do it, 2 weeks left and I have decided im going home in a few days... going to see my boss Moday, will change my flights and go home asap!!!!!!!!! Im a coward I know, but its not worth this at all!!!! Its not worth feeling 2 inchs tall, its not worth hiding out in my room just to avoid a bitchy comment, its not worth sitting away from all the staff at work so i dont say anything that she can comment on!!!!  Im a coward i know, I just want to be home wherw i can feel wanted!!! I have no-one here!!!!!!!! She is making sure of that!!!!

[Jennifer1987]

Thanks for ye're responses...  I just feel so trapped...

Today hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, the tension this morning was so bad you could cut it with a knife but as the day went on it eased off... All I can say is Im glad I have 3 weeks left... I wont have to deal with her any more after that!!!

I am not a confrontational person at all, I hate when people fight, Im the type of person who thinks of good things to say after the arguement, which is a bit late then lol.... but after counselling and stuff I have learned to defend myself and not let anyone walk all over me...  If this happened a few months ago Id have sat there and took it...  Being so far from family and friends I really found it hard not talking to anyone ...

We work and live together so there is no avoiding her, and if I ignore her then there will be a bad vibe in the air and that will just make everyone feel uncomfortable.. I guess I just gotta suck it up and bite my tongue some more.... Lets hope the 3 weeks fly by...

[imanaddict]

I am also kind of a confrontational person so I may not be the best person to give advice on this situation..LOL! But I'll try anyway...

I agree with mami, it's all about her wanting to feel powerful and those type of people are extremely hard to deal with. There is usually no winning with them (except them of course). She must be an insecure person on the inside to be that way to others but good luck trying to get that through her thick skull.

Just try to keep in mind that you only have a couple of weeks left so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Avoid her like the plague if you can and don't back down if she tries to call you out again. Screw her, you have nothing to prove to her or anyone else.

I have such a rotten little mind so if it were me, I'd probably do something mean like putting nair in her shampoo...hehehe. Yes, I'm kidding! Well, maybe not...;)

[RockRose]

There are 12 other people in that house.  My guess is there are some REALLY delightful wonderful people and they just kind of ignore her.  Hang with them.  ;D

[j7653]

Hey girlie.

You do have friends here.  You can always write to us and we will write back.

I dont know what to tel you to do about the girl that is giving you problems.  What I would suggest though is that you make the most of the time you have left.  Be yourself, remember why you went there in the first place, take advantage of your time, do things that you can do (whatever is in your budget).  Dont let her ruin your precious little time left.

And if all of that fails, then b*tch-slap her a**!

[mami1323]

You can either ignore her and walk away from her when she's talking her sh!t or you can confront her.  People like her usually pick on weaker more passive people so that they can feel powerful.  So if you stand up to her, most likely she will back down.  Or you can continue to bite your tongue until your trip is over.  Frankly when she called me a liar I would've told her to go take a flying leap off a tall building.  My bank account and what I have in it is none of her business.  If she didn't believe me than too bad and if she wanted to go so badly then to lend you the money since it seems to be no object for her.  I'm a bit of a confrontational person, so if I feel like I'm being attacked I usually fight back.  But that's just me.  Maybe I'm not the best person to talk to about this...lol.