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How did you survive a broken heart?
We have a quite a few people struggling with the aftermath of a broken relationship and now struggling with a broken heart? How did you handle the aftermath of picking up the pieces and the sting of a broken heart?
You know what pi$t me off the most, that I questioned myself. I said, "What's wrong with me?", "Why can't he love me", "What is it about me that he can't love?, "I'm ugly. It's my body, my nose, my heritiage"....how awful is that to have a man change the way you see yourself, your inner beauty. I start looking for your fault's on why he couldn't love me! JERK!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I'm a good person, intelligent, beautiful inside out and I have a geat big beautiful heart that I inherited from my mother who is now deceased. He is a fool for not seeing what a treasure he had in me. JERK! (did I butter myself enough here (lol).
I also went through, "I hate him with my heart and soul", felt rejected, hurt and the reality was that deep down inside, he didn't realized that "I loved him"....JERK!
It took almost 1 yr. and if I dwell on it, I get angry again, so.....he is still a JERK in my eyes :).....Judy
There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I'm a good person, intelligent, beautiful inside out and I have a geat big beautiful heart that I inherited from my mother who is now deceased. He is a fool for not seeing what a treasure he had in me. JERK! (did I butter myself enough here (lol).
I also went through, "I hate him with my heart and soul", felt rejected, hurt and the reality was that deep down inside, he didn't realized that "I loved him"....JERK!
It took almost 1 yr. and if I dwell on it, I get angry again, so.....he is still a JERK in my eyes :).....Judy
I see a lot of my old relationship in what you wrote... Its so simular.... Things is for me I have developed HIGH anxiety that I cant shake..Ok, since we split its decreased but not gone yet! Its there all the time making me feel so low... So then that leads me to think "I wish I never met him"... which is sooo true.......
The fact that my ex cheated has caused anxiety around people who I dont know.. I feel I cant trust anyone, (only my dog lol) I feel like everyone is out to get me and hurt me.... Im analysising (sp??) everything I think, say or hear... Everything I thought about myself, I now question... My whole life has been turn up side down for what???? 2 and a half years of hell in my opinion!
I am still going for counselling although not in the past month as she was away on hols.... Im hoping Il descover something in the next few sessions that will help dramatically.. cause right now I dont know if Im coming or going.... I need a big change to happen!
And ya Ben and Jerry's is the best ever! Expensive as hell though! I prefer to endulge on loads of chocolate!!!
Cheers..
Jen
The fact that my ex cheated has caused anxiety around people who I dont know.. I feel I cant trust anyone, (only my dog lol) I feel like everyone is out to get me and hurt me.... Im analysising (sp??) everything I think, say or hear... Everything I thought about myself, I now question... My whole life has been turn up side down for what???? 2 and a half years of hell in my opinion!
I am still going for counselling although not in the past month as she was away on hols.... Im hoping Il descover something in the next few sessions that will help dramatically.. cause right now I dont know if Im coming or going.... I need a big change to happen!
And ya Ben and Jerry's is the best ever! Expensive as hell though! I prefer to endulge on loads of chocolate!!!
Cheers..
Jen
Funny how Judy asks this question yesterday... it was the day that my 3 year relationship ended. I honestly thought this was it for me... he was the one. Man was I wrong... too bad it took me 3 years to figure it out.
This boy has broken my heart so many times and in so many ways. As some of you may know, I have not been blessed with a good health. He has NEVER been there for me. When I started a treatment last year which in return would destroy my body, he had come over at a family dinner (he came over for 3 dinners in 3 years). I had to announce to my family that I would not be able to have children and in return, I would have to take this treatment in hopes of avoiding a hysterectomy. He sat beside me, holding my hand, promised my family that he would be there. When the first treatment came, he was nowhere to be found. Turns out... he had to go skiing with his friends.
A year before that, I found out I was pregnant. He was due to leave for Europe on a boys only trip. I had asked him to stay because I was sick and I truly needed him. His response " you'll be sick whether I go or not so why should I miss out?". He then called me from Amsterdam to break up with me... the same day I miscarried. When he returned, I told him what had happened.... no emotion.... no tears.... no hug.... no support for follow up visits.
Thing is, we had broken up last October and I had found a great man. He then came back and told me he had changed and was ready to start a life with me.... 5 months later... you're reading the outcome. I recently had surgery and mister decides that it's more important to go on a boys weekend to shop and watch a football game instead of being with me.
He was never supportive. It got to the point where I had to ask my own bf for affection. I didn't get a kiss or a hug without having to ask for it. He would come over, get high and fall asleep on my couch. He controlled when I would see him, for how long, everything. I lost myself.
Even though it is very hard right now, I know that I would not go anywhere if I stayed with him. I would be a gf forever. He never talked about a future with me. No marriage talk, no baby talk, no moving in talk. Even after 3 years and he being 27 and I being 23. My life would turn into my mother's life. No say in anything. Dreams not fulfilled. Feeling like a nothing for the rest of my life. It clicked when she came over yesterday and looked at me straight in the eyes and said " I had 2 gorgeous children with your father. We did have good times but I now find myself... not knowing who I am. It may be too late for me but it's not for you. Don't spend the rest of your life only living his life".
Thing is... I can't blame him for all of this. I enabled him to do all of this. I never put my foot down or spoke up. He continued to do these things because I would tolerate it which in return, showed him it was ok to treat me the way he did. He never learned his lesson but I finally have. A man can only hurt you if you let him.
The way to get over a broken heart... the girls on Medhelp. It's that simple. We are there for each other whether it's to vent or to give each other a kick in the butt. We all give good advice. We've all done stupid things for love.
Oh and one other help.... a hell of a lot of Ben and Jerry's!!!! My new best friend :) lol
This boy has broken my heart so many times and in so many ways. As some of you may know, I have not been blessed with a good health. He has NEVER been there for me. When I started a treatment last year which in return would destroy my body, he had come over at a family dinner (he came over for 3 dinners in 3 years). I had to announce to my family that I would not be able to have children and in return, I would have to take this treatment in hopes of avoiding a hysterectomy. He sat beside me, holding my hand, promised my family that he would be there. When the first treatment came, he was nowhere to be found. Turns out... he had to go skiing with his friends.
A year before that, I found out I was pregnant. He was due to leave for Europe on a boys only trip. I had asked him to stay because I was sick and I truly needed him. His response " you'll be sick whether I go or not so why should I miss out?". He then called me from Amsterdam to break up with me... the same day I miscarried. When he returned, I told him what had happened.... no emotion.... no tears.... no hug.... no support for follow up visits.
Thing is, we had broken up last October and I had found a great man. He then came back and told me he had changed and was ready to start a life with me.... 5 months later... you're reading the outcome. I recently had surgery and mister decides that it's more important to go on a boys weekend to shop and watch a football game instead of being with me.
He was never supportive. It got to the point where I had to ask my own bf for affection. I didn't get a kiss or a hug without having to ask for it. He would come over, get high and fall asleep on my couch. He controlled when I would see him, for how long, everything. I lost myself.
Even though it is very hard right now, I know that I would not go anywhere if I stayed with him. I would be a gf forever. He never talked about a future with me. No marriage talk, no baby talk, no moving in talk. Even after 3 years and he being 27 and I being 23. My life would turn into my mother's life. No say in anything. Dreams not fulfilled. Feeling like a nothing for the rest of my life. It clicked when she came over yesterday and looked at me straight in the eyes and said " I had 2 gorgeous children with your father. We did have good times but I now find myself... not knowing who I am. It may be too late for me but it's not for you. Don't spend the rest of your life only living his life".
Thing is... I can't blame him for all of this. I enabled him to do all of this. I never put my foot down or spoke up. He continued to do these things because I would tolerate it which in return, showed him it was ok to treat me the way he did. He never learned his lesson but I finally have. A man can only hurt you if you let him.
The way to get over a broken heart... the girls on Medhelp. It's that simple. We are there for each other whether it's to vent or to give each other a kick in the butt. We all give good advice. We've all done stupid things for love.
Oh and one other help.... a hell of a lot of Ben and Jerry's!!!! My new best friend :) lol
I also believe that having someone to talk to you that has experienced the loss of a love can help alot, because when you are in a state of depression over a loss, you can't think clearly. Having your thoughts on one particular man/woman constantly can easily turn into an obsession, like a worship and that is debilitating and unhealty.
It's about not allowing someone make you the victim. I had to learn that and man it took a long time. Even though they've hurt you, you can muster up the strength to not feel sorry for yourself. It takes time though to get out of that black hole but you have to tell yourself daily that this person isn't worth me feeling this sad, this person isn't work my health, isn't worth my happiness. It all comes from within. You have the power to make yourself happy on your own. We shouldn't look to others to do that for us.
i have had break ups before, but none of them like this... None have hurt this much... im so angry that it is actually damaging me.. My personality, happiness and all that! Thanks for thoes stories, they have opened my eyes to the fact that i could go through this again , and that i need to put me first!
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