How did you survive a broken heart?

[Judy246]

We have a quite a few people struggling with the aftermath of a broken relationship and now struggling with a broken heart? How did you handle the aftermath of picking up the pieces and the sting of a broken heart?

[Judy246]

Thanks Mami for sharing your many heartbreaks, so you see this not only happens once it can happen throught out your life, so why spend so much of your time, energy, percious emotions grieving, hurting, crying, angry, wanting to kill him (lol) and just plain hurt over a man who was able to penetrate your heart and easily turn his back.

The guy whom I thought was the one (I won't dignify him, by mentioning his pathetic name) had problems with commitment and marriage phobic. I scensed it from the very beginning and it anger me that my six sense told me that something was wrong and I didn't pay attention. We have that inner ability (like a guardian angel) to be warned when something is just not right. I wish I would have listened to it. I would have save myself physical and emotional pain. Being heartbroken is like feeling you should be hospitalized, because you are going to die! You feel like you are not going to survive this awful pain or spear through the heart, yet the sun will eventually and at the right time, come out again.

[mami1323]

Oh man, my heart has been broken sooooo many times....lol.  Well let's see my first real heartbreak was my first love.  We had been together 6 years and lived together for 3 years and we were together from 15 years old until 21 years old.  I loved him so much, he was my best friend, my first sexual experience and we had even looked at engagement rings to get married.  Well I guess the age played a factor in our breakup and the fact that he wanted to hang out like a teenager all of a sudden.  So I got tired of him coming home at the wee hours of the morning and so I broke up with him.  We lived together for like 6 months still after the breakup, it hurt so much more because I kept wanting to get back with him and he kept telling me know.  He would leave and do what he pleased with no cares for me.  So I told him he had a month to get out, I couldn't handle the constant ups and downs.  So he moved and basically disappeared out of my life.  Than one day he finally told me the truth that he had been seeing someone.  Turned out, he started seeing her before we actually broke up.  She was some girl he worked with.  I cried so hard and told him he needed to get the rest of his c r a p outta my house unless he wanted it burned and I threw all of it in boxes.  He came to pick it up the next day and I begged him to think about what he was doing and how he could do it to me.  He ran off like a little coward and I think I stayed in my room for hours at a time, with tears running down my face.  Thinking I would never love again, wishing he would come back to me.  But I held strong, focused on school, graduated college and tried my hardest not to call him.  The only time we talked was when my grandmother died and he came to see me and for some reason that day he came to see me, I got over him because I found out from a friend of mine that he had cheated on his current girlfriend with a girl that sleeps around with so many men.  Including his friends.  It must've been a turnoff or something but after that, I enjoyed my life.  I fully recovered but I didn't get over him completely until about a year and a half later.  Than I met my ex that I dated for 2 1/2 years, he didn't want a commitment and so he was always breaking my heart.  So I decided that I would date other guys, met another guy at my job and we dated for about 3 months, until I found out he had a girlfriend and dumped his sorry a$$, that one hurt only because he had convinced me that he was some great guy and I was just tired of men lying to me.  So I went back and forth with my ex of 2 1/2 years for a while but hadn't seen him for about 3 months when I met my current fiance.  Who swept me off my feet and wound up breaking it off completely with my ex who in turn felt hurt but knew he couldn't give me what I needed but yet still tried to heavily pursue me when he knew I had moved on.  Richie and I were shaky in the beginning and he moved to PR for a few months and that broke me up inside.  It hurt almost the same as when I broke up with my first bf.  But we survived that.  His affair killed me the most but you know what, I have gotten stronger each and every time some man has hurt me.  So I knew how to deal with it.  You just have to keep moving, you know the pain will eventually go away.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and time heals all wounds.  These are sayings for a reason, because it is true.  

[Judy246]

Great story and I hope someone will read it and learn from it. My ex had the nerve to tell me to back to my ex who loved me. Stunned and numb that someone would "dare" speak to me that way and who the hell did he think he was telling me who I can be with? Hurt and I did have to take personal quite time to reflect and realize who the real me inside is. Also, we are not heartbroken just once, this will happen throughout our lifetime, so it's not just a 1 time event. We are luck if we find the Mr. perfect, but it's not for everyone.  Thanks for sharing....Judy

[jojo24]

In college, I was deeply infatuated with a guy who pretended he was just as infatuated with me, which it turned out later that I (among others, apparently) was just a booty call to him.  I thought we had a great connection.   I didn't know what was up until his roommate let me into their apartment one day and he came out of his room wearing only a towel and a girl following him.  He hugged her goodbye, and then tried to hug me, which I refused, so he started sexually harassing me in front of his friends.  I was so humiliated and heartbroken.  I went home and locked myself in my apartment for almost a month, only leaving to go to class and work.  During that time, somehow, being alone, I got to know myself.  I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful, intelligent, talented woman and I knew I deserved better.  He wasn't the first guy to break my heart, but by far the most memorable since he broke it in front of people.  But he caused me to have an epiphany.  No matter how popular, successful, or gorgeous a guy was, he had no right to treat me that way.  His actions made me realize that I'm worth more than that and how I deserve respect.  I can honestly say that when I had a thing for him, I thought he was the one and even for awhile after he stopped being so nice, I still thought I had a chance.  But self-actualization made it clear that I needed to love myself and not take that **** from anyone.  When I started dating again, I kept that in mind, and I could usually tell when things started to go south because I started using my head along with my heart.  There were other situations where I really wanted it to work out, but I had to make sure that both of us were getting what we needed out of the relationship too, instead of just going on feelings alone.  There is nothing easy about heartbreak. When you're going through it, it feels like it will never end. But I definitely feel like if you learn from it, it makes you stronger and in a way, keeps you from getting hurt again.
Jojo

[Judy246]

I was once dumped by someone whom I was in love with and actually thought he was the one, but I didn't realize that he did not feel the same way. After a painful breakup, I literally had to change my cell phone number and made sure I was surrounded by my family and close friends. Although I had my a support group, the nights were rough and I cried alot and was sooo angry and hurt that he didn't feel the same way.  

I believe we learn lessons from these dark experience. It give us character, maturity and we become wise and never let anyone ever hurt us again. I am now able to simply and easily walk away and not look back and mean it and there was a time when that was impossible.