My boyfriend struggles to ***, is this normal?

[Shames1806]

I have been with my boyfriend 5 years now and he struggles to ***. He can get an errection several times a day without a problem. We would have intercourse a few times a week and he may only *** on average once a month. Usually only with me on top position. He doesn’t masturbate.

[AnnieBrooke]

It could be a subconscious form of withholding, especially if he really doesn't want a baby. (But getting an erection and having unprotected sex can still produce a baby, climax or not, s unless he is simply not ever ejaculating at all. So this would not be a foolproof method.)

[specialmom]

Well, ya.  You need sperm to have a baby.  You didn't mention trying to conceive.  Since he is happy as a clam not climaxing, does he also want a child?  He's going to have to seek medical help even if it is anxiety or performance anxiety.  But I would first give some time to just not have the expectation that he ejaculates for a while to see if he can relax more and not worry about it.  At least that's what I'd try.  Because otherwise, he has to go talk to a doctor about it.  good luck

[Shames1806]

Ok will go for the doctor idea as we / he / I have tried that for 5 years already...

[specialmom]

Hm.   Well, there are reasons for delayed ejaculation.  (he stays hard and just doesn't finish or takes FOREVER (longer than 30 minutes)?  Sorry for personal questions!!).  Some common reasons for this are medication.  Does he take any medication?  Autoimmune issues can be a cause such as diabetes, thyroid issues,  or short term health issues like a urinary tract infection, an cause a delay in finishing.  Guys can very much have performance anxiety, especially if it is clear that you are waiting for him to get done (and let's face it, sometimes it's gotta be like "get on with it already" as who has all day or night for sex?  lol  We have things to do, sleep we need, etc!).  If he is a heavy drinker, this can cause this.  If he has mental health issues, it can happen.  And if he is a 'secret' masturbator that isn't up front about it . . . that is common to have issues with ejaculation.

Is he complaining or sensitive about this or is it something you are feeling badly about?  If he is not upset about it, I'd make no complaints.  Otherwise, he can think about the above possibilities and talk to his doctor.  Good luck!

[Shames1806]

Thanks for your response. He isn’t at all upset or worried about it. It’s all me! He doesn’t have mental heath issues or any medical problems. He doesn’t take any medication and doesn’t really drink alcohol. He doesn’t smoke and isn’t over weight. Maybe it’s performance anxiety...

[specialmom]

It could be since it bothers you.  I would try to not worry about it.  Sex is still enjoyable to him and he still wants to do it.  So, don't look for the final climax as validation that it was good for him.  :>)  

[Shames1806]

I’m not looking for the final climax as validation but I don’t see many other options in having a baby...