REALLY???

[Justin027]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 years. In my eyes, we are married!! We have two children together and have seen our share hardships. But more recently than not, we have been fighting like theres no tomorrow. I don't even know why half of the time? She says its because I ask her to do all of the housework...REALLY??? I know I am a great dad and a great husband...Is she just trying to make herself feel better about something she is or isn't doing? or maybe this is just a phase. Either way, I am still head over heels for this woman and I don't want us to lose what we have...does anyone have any advice???? plzz?

[treazzure007]

just help her w/ the housework already.  sorry to hear you guys are putting off a wedding due to money.  it'll likely never happen.  just a suggestion:  consider getting married following a church sermon on sunday.  w/ all the people you guys invite as well as the entire nosy and excited congregation staying to witness a wedding, your photos will be full of people like you had the grandest ceremony ever.  have a separate wedding reception/dinner for your close family and friends it's what i did and was tons better than inviting 500 people which, if my husband and i were still waiting for the funds to throw something like that, would have never happened as of yet

[Agiesmom]

I don't get it.  She wants a "traditional" wedding, but she is not living in a "traditional" way.  The traditional way would be to date, get married, have sex, have kids, etc.  So I don't understand why she wants the actual wedding to be traditional--to the point where she'll postpone it indefinitely.  I don't get it.  That said, I never did understand the whole pomp and circumstance involved in big over-priced "traditional" weddings--all that money for one day...when it's really not about that one day.  Not to me, anyway.  If I were given $50,000 to do with what I wish, I would have a $500 wedding (flowers and a cake in my back yard, with a buffet of rigatoni, salad, and rolls and some drinks) and then I'd put $49,500 down on a house or invest it wisely.

Never mind...

Regarding your question, I'm not sure what to think.  Is she hormonal?  Has she had a full physical and blood work lately?  Do you help with the housework at all?  Do you let her know how much she is appreciated?  Have you made an appointment for her for a massage and told her not to worry about the kids (and not let her come home to a messy house)?  Have you offered to have a cleaning person come in every other week to help her if you don't want to do it?  Have you asked her any of the questions you asked here?  If so, what does she say?

[jo929]

MY computr went haywire before i finished, all couples will have their problem down the road a bit, and you just have to try and work things out my brother was married 56 years and then he passed away, but he said they were the best 56 years they had their ups but show me a couple that does not have problems now and then just work on them  luck  jo

[mami1323]

I understand that.  I felt that way to until now, now I would just like to get it over with....lol.  This isn't why you posted so I won't go into the marriage aspect any further.  Again, try to talk to her about how you are feeling.  Worst case scenario, you could go to some couples counseling sessions to have a third party get to the bottom of things.

[jo929]

You may be married in your eyes ,but not in the eyes of God .where is the marriage certificate,? and the wedding pictures of the bride and groom and all the things you both have missed out onwill the children someday want to see your marriage pictures?  luck  jo

[Justin027]

we talk about it all the time...the money just isn't there. she refuses to get married unless its "traditional"...i respect that and want to give it to her. our kids just take up so much of our expenses...but on a brighter note, we are only 27 so we still have time to plan a nice wedding...when we can afford it. lol

[mami1323]

Just seems like a rocky patch.  Perhaps she's frustrated about other things and just uses the housework as an excuse.  Communication is the key to any relationship and I think you just need to be persistent in finding out if that is the true reason.  Have you picked up some of the slack since she's said that?  Sit her down or take her out to eat just the two of you and have a conversation.  Tell her you feel like she is unhappy and you don't want to argue anymore so if there is anything you can do for her, you are willing to do it since you love her.  Tell her just what you told us, you are head over heals for her and don't want to lose what you have.  Just a question, please don't take offense but after 9 years, how come you aren't married?