Husband Left When Our Family Is Homeless

[CatLinnea]

I have been married for 14 years to my husband and we have 3 children together. We lost our house in May due to us both being unemployed and getting behind on the rent. We sold everything we owned in our house and decided to move back to our home state of Georgia from Florida. Our mothers and alot of family are in Georgia so we figured we could get back on our feet there faster. Ultimately we decided he should go first and secure a job and begin the task of finding us a home. He left on May 17th and stayed in an efficiency with his 2 brothers while he worked with them doing landscaping. On Mayy 28th, he told me that he would still get me and the kids a place up there but he decided that we were through! He went on to tell me how he has been unhappy for a long time, blah blah blah... So, here I sit with 3 children, in a one bedroom apartment with my grandmother... No home, no money, no job, and confused as hell! There also might be another female involved, there has been over 400 texts on our cell phone with her but he claims that is his brother that uses it because he has a pre-paid phone and ours is unlimited. Anyway, If I want to file for divorce, I have to remain in Florida where I have been a resident for the past 6 months (law) and I am confused if I should even divorce him. He wants to set us up in a trailor next door to him and that just sounds ridiculous! I don't think I could handle looking at him everyday. Before this, he was an AWESOME father that took care of our kids with love and kindness. How could he just walk away from them?!?! Please, I am so confused and I have no idea what I should do now to start my life over. Even after 14 years, I am so in love with him and he was my very best friend... I am heartbroken!

[RockRose]

I think you need to go there,  and talk to him.    For most men (especially "family men") it's crushing and humiliating when they can't support their families,  and their families become homeless.  It's easier to run away than work through the crisis.  

Go there,  and find out if he's got another woman - and tell him you don't want the marriage to end and you'll work through this if possible.  

I don't think all is lost right now,  especially considering he does want you and the kids nearby.  There's a chance he's doing this as a knee-jerk reaction,  and you can't work this out over the phone.

Best wishes.  

[shell921]

wow i'm so sorry this happened. how can an awesome father just turn his back on his 3 kids? i bet the stress of all the financial stuff + his age gave him a mid-life crisis. i bet the thing with the other woman will run its course and he will want to come back to you & his children. question is will you want to take him back after he pulls crap like this? when times are tough you do not abandon your family. maybe he is having some mental health problems. i would not do anything right now. no filing for divorce and no moving into a trailer next to him. by law he has to support his children so look into how to go about getting him to do that and stay put for now. one step at a time. good luck.

[Londres70]

That's awful....I feel for you dear.  

Can your family in Georgia help you get back to Gerogia from Florida and then help you out temporarily until you sort out what exactly is going on or do you want to stay in Florida?  

First and foremost, you have to find a way to support you and your children....you have to survive.  

It is unfortunate that your husband has done this to you, but you have to find a way to survive financially especially since you have children.  Then deal with the situation in regards to your marriage/husband.  I know you're hurting, but survival right now is key.  

Instead of offering you that silly idea about a "trailer" next door to him, why doesn't he just give you the money to support you and the kids?  

[specialmom]

Hi.  I'm so sorry this is such a hard time.  That old saying "when it rains, it pours" comes to mind.  since May, you've had a heap put upon you in a short amount of time.

I'm sure you are sad about the end of your marriage.  That is always heartbreaking and especially awful when we didn't see it coming.  It sounds like it has been stressful for a period of time though as severe financial issues and lack of jobs can be very overwhelming to a relationship.  One thing I do want to point out is that he is offering to still be near his kids and to help provide them  housing in the trailor.  So he is STILL thinking about the kids and not just running out on them.  While it would be difficult to live there and understandable that you wouldn't want to, it isn't fair to say he is not going to be there for his kids now as he IS offering things to get them in a better situation.  

I think you need to decide where you are going to live.  Maybe he can set the kids and you up in a trailor or apartment somewhere near where he is at verses next door.  Could you ask himto do that instead?  And if you have a family there that may help and be supportive with the kids, is Georgia a better place to go now?  I don't know.  But this is something to put pen to paper and weigh out pros and cons and make a decision.  Then your next priority is finding a job.  Take anything you can get and just get back to work.  YOu need an income pronto.  Any income is better than no income.  Are you on public assistance now?

So, I don't know what happened to the marriage and I'm sorry he left you the way he did and sorry if he is testing with another woman.  That certainly does stink and is horrible.  However, now is time to kick into survival mode for your won sake and the kids.  You need to get a stable life set up for you all as best you can.  Take his help without having too much pride because you need it.  Someday you may not need it and I hope that is sooner rather than later.  

I feel for you.  This sounds very hard.  Peace