I need advice

[Mly22]

I have been in a committed relationship for two years now, with my best friend of twelve years.In the spring we got into a fight that escalated to me calling the police on him and having him arrested. He did not physically harm me but he did lock me in a room and unplugged the phone lines and cut off the electricity. I left out the window and called the police. We have since been to counseling and we are trying to put our relationship back together because I am expecting to have our son around the end of November. My family does not want him around, they talk badly about him and they have made it clear to me that he will never be accepted in our family. They want me to leave him and not include him on the baby's birth certificate. When I try to talk to him about my family, he always has negative remarks and he tells me that there is no way he will let me take "His Son" to my mother's house without him being there. I also want to give the baby my father's name and he said that it will not happen. Between him and my family, they are tearing me apart and all I want is for my baby to be in a loving environment. What should I do????

[iam1butterfly]

You've known this man for a long time and, you've both been through counseling.
But, in the final analysis, ask yourself this...
Does a man who is capable of locking people in rooms; unplugging phone lines; cutting off electricity and denying the mother of his child naming rights for their baby have the emotional and psychological maturity and stability to provide a healthy and loving environment for anyone, let alone... a vulnerable child?

... let the answer to this question be your guide.

[Judy246]

Wow, are you in a situation. I can see why after 12 yrs. in a relationship, you are not married. Your partners sounds potentially dangerous. A walking time bomb. He has not physically harmed you yet, but it's just a matter of time that he will, so good thing your not married.

Also, why are you not married by now...just curious?  Your family has every reason to be concern about your well being, unborn child and safety. Although I think he is dangerous, he is the father of your child and his name should be on the birth certificate.
Your b/f and family simply don't like each other and don't have to like each other, but family is blood and it's bond that can never be broken, so he loses on this one.  Although he has a right to his son, you have a right to your family and your son is part of that family, so once again, b/f loses. He simply does not have to be present at all, so he can just get over it and stop squabbling like an infant.

Name, if it is a boy and if you want your father name, so be it and work it out....b/f first name, father's middle name, but go ahead and honor your father with the gift of his name to your child.

Secondly, use caution in this volitile relationship...re-evaluate wether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who can possilby kill you under anger. Good luck, Judy