I was infected with a STI will I still be able to have relationships

[WonderousTeacher1992]

When I and my ex-fiance called it quits, I hooked up with a guy friend that happened to be in a relationship. We had unprotected sex, and he passed me Trich. A ubiquitous STI and one of the most curable and low-level sti. After that incident, I seem to can't get right mentally. I have not slept with or dated anyone since then. If I smell any smells that remind me of that night I met him for sex I become very depressed. I keep thinking of the choices that I could have chosen to keep me away from him   I am an attractive woman and men often want to date me, but lately, I have been turning them down or just ignoring them. I feel like I will miss out on the right person if I keep doing this. It's hard for me. I understand trich is not life threatening but its just the thought of being infected with an STI. I am always careful, and that one time I wasn't, I caught an infection. I often tell men that I had trich to make them stay away from me, but they seem not to care. I am still saddened by this three months later.  I am guilty of knowingly sleeping with a man that is in a relationship. I am afraid to form relationships as I feel the same will happen to me. I can not believe I stooped so low

[Nighthawk61]

I'd don't think "marriage" is the only institution that deserves protections - any partner in a monogamous relationship that steps out without their partners knowledge , to me, is at least "married" , Married is only a word describing (mostly) monogamous relationships, as the laws reflect in Canada , Europe etc

[WonderousTeacher1992]

I feel crushed. I am on fear that karma will bite me

[specialmom]

Trich is common and something no one ever has to know about.  We all have those things that happen to us that we have to let go of.  There are sti's that never go away so this is one that most aren't scared of and is treatable/goes away.  So, just move on as best you can.  To me, you sound hurt by the break up and incident.  Would a therapist help you work through it?  Hugs

[WonderousTeacher1992]

Thanks specialMom you aways give the best advice.  Seeing a therapist would help me very much

[Nighthawk61]

I heard something the other day, even put it on my status. "Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn". Ain't that the truth huh? We make mistakes. We learn. It sounds like you've learned your lesson. You're a good woman that made a bad choice. You must learn from this only. That's all that's expected of you, not to be 100% perfect (although we try). I would put this in the vault. I would not discuss it with friends and family. I would let it go. Not sure who you told but hopefully they are trustworthy and and keep it to themselves. You have to shoot for a trustful trusting mate and be one yourself all the way. That's all you can do. There is a percentage of people that will cheat as this man did on his wife. She may have seen red flags and know that he cheats. You're one of many , likely not the only one that he's cheated with. I think it if were me i might even consider telling the wife frankly. Many would disagree., but, i know i would want to know if my husband was cheating and especially if he had an STD.

Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Don't ever do it again, If you do this, you deserve to be forgiven. If you can't do this for yourself, no problem, see a therapist, see clergy. You must let this fall behind you. You do not have to tell the men that you are dating that you got the STD from sleeping with a married man. If you are serious about a guy and thinking about marriage, i might then tell him, Tell him as a point of opening up the conversation about cheating in general and what you expect. You learned the hard way it's not worth it, afterwards it feels bad. A man that is to become your husband should be able to have this conversation with you and trust what you say about never doing anything like this again and not hold it against you. If you do tell a man that you are considering for marriage and he throws it in your face., Smile and wave. He failed the test. He cannot be trusted and it's good that you found out before going any further with him.

The fact is that there are from time to time men that come on here and have cheated on their wives, and swear to never do it again,. Mostly they are advised by others to keep it to himself and not destroy the women IF they mean that they will never do it again. If I knew the married man was a habitual sleaze and cheater, i might tell the wife. If i didn't know , I would pray for him to feel as you do, and never to it again.

Quotes Mistakenly Attributed to Shakespeare

Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive. - Sir Walter Scott (Marmion, 1808)


Please feel better. The fact that you care enough to never be with a married man again means that you are of good character. This says more about your character than the incident in question. Forgive yourself.

[WonderousTeacher1992]

Thanks a lot for this comment it meant so much. However, he was not married. He was in a long term relationship

[Nighthawk61]

Feel better:)