i can't trust my fiancé any more! please hepl

[sannouna2]

well, I've been with him for 3 years now, and we have been engaged for 9 months...
i fall in love with him from the moment i sow him and he did as well !!!
i don't trust him any more becoz he let go of me when i needed him the most but after that, he came and asked for forgiveness and since then he is been trying to show the best in him!!
But at the moment he talks with me i get that happy feeling, and in few days when i start thinking about what annoys me in him, i forget all the good in him because i believe he has more bad than good towards me even so that can be wrong!!
i get this feeling that i wanna go into his facebook and read all his conversations with the girls he is talking to, i really wanna do that but the fact that i'm gonna get worst doing that is what is holding me off !  But he is talking to lots of girls and i really wanna see what he is keeping from me or if he is keeping something from especially that is preventing me or him self to post our pic together on facebook even so we are engaged .. damn i really wanna stop thing as this much .

[specialmom]

I'm confused.  He HAS cheated on you or you are just anxious that he may be?  That's critical.  Unless you know, don't assume.  Because our anxiety can play tricks on us.  

When you say he left you at a point in your life, what are you speaking of?  Some details might help so we can understand.  

That he is in there still fighting for you is a good sign and we have to, as adults, make sure it isn't our OWN issues that are stopping us from having a good relationship verses the other person in our life.  

[sannouna2]

i'm woried if he does or that he is cheating on me,
He left at a point of my life it was the day i had a huge family problem, and at that day  i had an attack someone hit me in the streat and stole my phone.. so the only thing i  did is calling him and asking him to come for me.. and he refused because he said that he far away with friends.. i was really mad getting that respond and started asking where are you so that i'm gonna go see where he is and face him.. bcz acouldn't beleive that he is not coming for me.. finally he told where he is and went there and didn't find him!! so i called from waiters phone "ps i was in caos at that moment he said he had to leave with them bcz they came in the guys car .. so he told me to go to his home so we can meet there.. the only idea for was going there façing him and dumping him.. so i went iwas with his mum and sister .. i wated for an hour n he didn't come!! well after that he never called!! for a weak i was waiting for his call so finally i couldn't stop my self and i called , he was really ashamed of what he have donn and i think that his mother was turning him againt me so that we do broke up!! that is the worst story of my life !! after that we talked about it a lot and we wanted to put that story behind us.. but truthfully i couldn't i do love him soo much i can't imagine my life with ou him i love him too much, but starting from that day i have become really suspecious and i feel
lost ..

[specialmom]

Sweetie, people mess up. If you love him and want this to work, then YOU really have to make some effort here too.  Perhaps you were simply too emotional for him on that bad day you had and he needed to escape. Not great but doesn't mean he was with another woman.   Since you  have no proof and are unlikely to get any, you have to let this go.  What about a counselor for your own anxiety? This might be really helpful to you.

[sannouna2]

i would love to get that

[UnsureMS]

Good morning,

My husband has cheated on me before, and so I know how it feels to be worried that the one you love is messing around. Just from reading your post there are some signs of things that would make me not want to trust your fiance as well. The fact that he doesnt want to post pictures of ya together is one of them. However, this doesnt mean he is for sure cheating on you. I would try to discuss your concerns with him.

If he gets upset, then you might want to second think this relationship. Right now you are not married to him, and you have a chance to walk away. Once you are married that becomes harder. Sometimes you have to let a man know what he will lose if he doesnt change his ways. If you do talk to him, dont give him an ultimate but let him know that you cant handle being lied to, or cheated on and that if he wants to be with you then he needs to show it.

However, remember if your gut is telling you to get away from it. If you just arent happy anymore, and you feel used or abused and you dont think that you can get past or shake these feelings. Then you probably need to move on before it is to late.

I dont know if you believe in God...however I can tell you that praying during the hardest time in marriage when my husband was cheating on me did help guide me to do exactly what I know now was right. I stuck by him even though he wasnt doing right and we are happier now then ever before. This isnt to say stick with him, but if you trust in God then ask God what to do.

I will be praying for ya...if you have any more questions or just need to vent message me.

Sincerely,
Kimberly

[sannouna2]

Thank you  so much for responding to me , actually yes i'm really concerned and really need to discuss this through with him..  i'm waiting for the right moment.. But i'm afraid that he lies to me as he did once before just cover the bad he has donn..
I'm really confused, i really do love this man, and the idea of leaving him kills me inside..I do find this unhealthy for me.. But as you did advice i must face this n show him that i do can leave him.. Thnk you again

[sannouna2]

Thnk you for responding, i'm really confused about facing him and really need to do it at the same time .. It scares me the idea of leaving him, i really do love this man. But you are right i need this kind of susspecian can't come from a void, this a huge step for to do and i hope i succeed in it for me.. i really wanna learn how to love my self, i will do pray to gohd i'm a beleiver, and hope god helps me in this .. Thnk you again.

[UnsureMS]

I want to add though I advice to talk to him...Hear him out and see if he will hear you out. There really should be no secrets and facebook kills alot of relationships. But still you need to find out why he acts the way he does...because it could be nothing to do with what he is doing wrong but something else that only he can explain. It is truly not healthy for you to keep dwelling on whether he is doing something or not. That is why talking with him could help. Best of Luck...