Left husband because of bathroom

[collette555]

I was married for 25 years.  My husband makes a very good living but he is also very tight with the money.  I have always been supportive of his saving for our retirement but I took a stand when he refused to build  a second bathroom on our one bathroom house.  We only have one small one now and often I'll be in the shower while one of my two sons are using the toilet.  I have begged him for a second bath but he refuses. Am I wrong to leave because of this?  I feel he does not respect me at all.  It is so little to ask.

[peaceinknowing]

Wow.... And that's all I have to say about that.

[BabyHardiman]

What about the 16 year old who watches their mother get beat night after night after night for the last 7 years of her life.  What about that girl whose mother finally gets enough courage to leave the S O B.  The same girl gets a choice, you can either continue school and we will go back to the S O B or you can quit, get a job and we can live on our own because your mother can't make enough money waitressing to support herself and 5 kids.  Does that 16 year old have the same opportunity at an education?  Or, should she run away, live in the gutters and go to school.  What would YOU do at 16 and given the same two choices?

[SweetiePie411]

Yes, you are very wrong to leave because of this. You left a 25 year marriage over a bathroom. Think about that in your head. There is a lot more than that that my parents went through in their 21 year marriage and they are only getting a divorce now. My dad didn't do a lot of things like that, but my mom just dealt with it. However, one day she just couldn't take all the s*** anymore and left. Anyways, yes, I think you were wrong for leaving over that. Sorry if that sounded rude, but it's only the truth and my opinion.

[teko]

Well, if he went out and got a mustang and all you wanted was a ring and a bathroom, I see your point. So, it is not about a bathroom, it is about his lack of respect for your needs and wishes, putting his above you. That I understand. That would also change the advice given. My heart goes out to you, however there has to be a better way rather than throw your life away. 25 years is a long time and by leaving you stand more to lose than gain out of it. At least from my view. That however may not be yours. Just think it thru, whatever you decide to do. I hope he sees the error of his way, but getting that car! You are right! It certainly would feel like a slap in the face.

[peaceinknowing]

Sometimes it takes coming to complete strangers to get out the emotions we've been hiding beneath the surface in our everyday lives, so I completely understand what you're saying right now. I only hope that everything gets better for you, and that you continue to post here on the forums and try and work through this with whoever you need to.

[collette555]

Thanks for your insight.  This has been a long journey.  Much of what has occurred was perolating beneath the surface and the bathroom became the focus for me for many reasons.  I guess I need to add that the site has helped me tremendously clarify how I have felt about my situation.  That clarity was needed because I've been so emotionally screwed up lately.  I do appreciate the comments.