Lost!

[K1990]

So I'm sure most of you who will read this have followed my posts... and I know there will be some interesting comments on this but I need some input!  I have a really good friend that I have known for 5 years and have had feelings for, for that long.  He was my first pretty much everything and we have always been close.  He left 2 1/2 years ago for Iraq with the army and I finally got to see him for the first time since this last week.  Well no surpise but the feelings are still there... the attraction is still there and if anything else the feelings have grown.  My heart was racing and my stomach had butterflies the second I saw him again...  My faince and I have been having issues on and off for a year and the last 2 weeks have been hell!  Things already weren't going so well when my friend got here.  Well there is a group of friends that have been friends since high school and we get together a lot (im the only girl in the group).  Well this friend from Iraq is part of it and my fiance and I are both part of this group both individualy and together so it's complicated.  Well while my friend was here things happened and I couldn't stop the attraction and my fiance and I were yelling at eachother and i was just not happy!  My friend and I started out just making out... then we ended up having sex.  The horrible thing is I feel so bad about doing it but I know that if it were to happen again I would allow it!  The next night my friend and I talked a lot and he kept kissing me and I never stopped any of it.  I love my fiance so much and that is why I can't tell him and that is why I can't seem to leave him.  I have tried but then he brings up the baby and brings up everythign we have been through and I can't get myself to walk away.  I live with him, have 2 dogs with him... how can i just leave all of that and not worry about it?  He means so much to me but I am not happy more often than I am!  I have talked everything over with my friend and he actually just went back to where he is based a few days ago.  He wants to be with me but right now we can't be because our friends will get upset and feel bad for my fiance.  We could wait a few months and then date and everything would be okay.  I can't just up and leave him, he did nothing wrong!  My feelings and emotions are all over the place and I have no idea what to think!

[babypooh]

I think it's normal that she would be confused after what happened. I'm sure that she does in fact care deeply for her fiance (or ex fiance). Was what she did right? No, and she knows it.  But we all do make mistakes and if she had feelings for her friend, I can see why she would be even more confused now.  I don't believe that it's up to any of us to bring up what she has said in her profile or how excited she used to seem about her wedding. We all still deserve respect in this forum. We can all get along, right? I think we can :)

[momagain59]

Sorry, you're right, not everyone wants to be diagnosed.

[BabyHardiman]

I agree with babypooh.  And honestly I have many of those symptoms myself.

[babypooh]

I'm sure that K1990 would post in the doctor's forum if she wants to be diagnosed. Let's try to respectfully offer our advice, if we have any. Love and Peace, ladies!

[momagain59]

Actually, I have to give credit to SeriousSam; if you read between the lines, he is the one that diagnosed her in his post. I do not know what people with this disorder or illness do to get better. Does anyone have any knowledge of what works best for someone with this problem? Until help is received, I do not see how someone like this can ever have a healthy relationship. Too much drama for me.  

[mayflowers]

Momagain59,

You hit the nail on the head.  K1990 has some sort of mental disorder.  At first I thought bi-polar as this would cause her to do the crazy things she does and then over-dramatizes her problems.  The disorder you mention sounds more like her.  I hope she gets help.

Sadly, until she does get some help, which could possibly include some sort of medication mixed with therapy, she will continue to have one night stands and get engaged to men just to say she is engaged.  It's pure dramatics and attention to say "look at me, everyone look at me".