Lost!

[K1990]

So I'm sure most of you who will read this have followed my posts... and I know there will be some interesting comments on this but I need some input!  I have a really good friend that I have known for 5 years and have had feelings for, for that long.  He was my first pretty much everything and we have always been close.  He left 2 1/2 years ago for Iraq with the army and I finally got to see him for the first time since this last week.  Well no surpise but the feelings are still there... the attraction is still there and if anything else the feelings have grown.  My heart was racing and my stomach had butterflies the second I saw him again...  My faince and I have been having issues on and off for a year and the last 2 weeks have been hell!  Things already weren't going so well when my friend got here.  Well there is a group of friends that have been friends since high school and we get together a lot (im the only girl in the group).  Well this friend from Iraq is part of it and my fiance and I are both part of this group both individualy and together so it's complicated.  Well while my friend was here things happened and I couldn't stop the attraction and my fiance and I were yelling at eachother and i was just not happy!  My friend and I started out just making out... then we ended up having sex.  The horrible thing is I feel so bad about doing it but I know that if it were to happen again I would allow it!  The next night my friend and I talked a lot and he kept kissing me and I never stopped any of it.  I love my fiance so much and that is why I can't tell him and that is why I can't seem to leave him.  I have tried but then he brings up the baby and brings up everythign we have been through and I can't get myself to walk away.  I live with him, have 2 dogs with him... how can i just leave all of that and not worry about it?  He means so much to me but I am not happy more often than I am!  I have talked everything over with my friend and he actually just went back to where he is based a few days ago.  He wants to be with me but right now we can't be because our friends will get upset and feel bad for my fiance.  We could wait a few months and then date and everything would be okay.  I can't just up and leave him, he did nothing wrong!  My feelings and emotions are all over the place and I have no idea what to think!

[babypooh]

Good choice, honey. I hope it goes well for you. Good luck.

[K1990]

Im going to tell him what happened and we are going to go from there... I still love him and after giving him the ring back I realized I do still love him.  Im going to let him decide if he can forgive me or not...

[RockRose]

K,  this is hard.  It's hard for you,  and hard for him,  but good job.  This has been a very,  very long time coming.  You are very young,  and this is what happens when you date and find you grow apart.  You grow apart.

[K1990]

I just gave him his ring back and ended everything...

[grammy64]

Im glad you did not take the financial support question wrong.  I just worry that in this economy people are making decisions based on their financial situation.  I'm glad that is not the case and that you have your ducks in a row.

Please update us with what you decide to do.  

L

[babypooh]

The main thing is to try to move on from here the best fair way possible. Honey, whether you decide to stay with him or not, also give him the opportunity to decide; tell him the truth either way and make your decisions based on his.  But I still don't think it's a good idea to stay if you're not in love like you used to be.