Aa
Male Domestic Violence Victims
This is domestic violence month... Sooo I thought I would post this article about Med help and see what peoples thoughts were!!
A big piece of stone just fell out of the Domestic Violence version of the Berlin Wall
October 15, 2008, 8:43 AM by Jonathan Kay
Barbara Kay
***@****
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/10/15/barbara-kay-a-big-piece-of-stone-just-fell-out-of-the-domestic-violence-version-of-the-berlin-wall.aspx
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am sure that to 99% of readers the two words "domestic violence" means violence against women. Only. The politically correct view that all domestic violence (DV) can be accounted for either by the inherent aggression and controlling instincts of men or by women's defensive reactions against those instincts is so deeply entrenched in our culture that it has become the Berlin Wall of the gender wars - or rather the war of feminism against men. In fact women initiate violence against their partners in an almost equal ratio to men. And in many cases the violence they inflict is severe (as one woman in a woman's shelter told the director, "knives make great levellers").
For all the men who have suffered at the hands of battering women, a chunk of stone just fell out of that huge gendered wall. In a taxpayer lawsuit by four male victims of DV, the Third District appellate court in California reversed a previous ruling holding that because they are not statistically situated with women, men are not entitled to equal protection. The new ruling declares the exclusion of men from Domestic Violence programs unconstitutional.
The presenting case, that of David Woods and his daughter Maegan, now in her early 20s, was compelling because the evidence was irrefutable, the worst case of gender bias in this area I have ever seen. David Woods is a handicapped man in a wheelchair, incapable of living on his own, and dependent (or was during the relevant period, the 1980s, when Meagan was a young girl) on his wife Ruth, who is bi-polar with violent tendencies. David frequently attempted to get help from a Sacramento DV agency, who always told him "We don't help men," explaining that men were perpetrators of violence, never victims, the usual mantra so clearly inapplicable to his situation. Churches and various other programs were equally unhelpful.
If David had fled with his daughter, he would have been arrested for kidnapping, unlike women with children who are offered shelter and sympathy. He would certainly have lost custody in a divorce, so neither flight nor divorce would have served Meagan's interests. Bias in the law enforcement system exacerbated the problem. In one 1995 incident, Ruth aimed a shotgun at Meagan. David managed to wrest it from her. Ruth called the police, telling them she wanted to kill her husband, but when the police arrived, they immediately handcuffed him.
People who have followed the heartrending story of the Woods family can only rejoice at this moral victory, which of course comes too late to rewrite the tragic trajectory of Meagan's unhappy childhood, but hopefully will provide a strong foundation for the reversal of the tide of gender bias the case represents.
The entrenched prejudices against men in the DV industry know no borders. California today, other states tomorrow. And Canada? The issues are the same, the right of taxpayers to equal access to services is the same, the bias in the legal system is the same, and the cultural blindness to the plight of male suffering is the same.
It would be a grace note for judges here to take note of the chunk of wall on the ground, and pick up a proactive hammer. The faster this wall comes down, the better for democracy and for gender relations, soured by years of feminists' indifference to the suffering of male victims and their children.
A big piece of stone just fell out of the Domestic Violence version of the Berlin Wall
October 15, 2008, 8:43 AM by Jonathan Kay
Barbara Kay
***@****
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/10/15/barbara-kay-a-big-piece-of-stone-just-fell-out-of-the-domestic-violence-version-of-the-berlin-wall.aspx
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am sure that to 99% of readers the two words "domestic violence" means violence against women. Only. The politically correct view that all domestic violence (DV) can be accounted for either by the inherent aggression and controlling instincts of men or by women's defensive reactions against those instincts is so deeply entrenched in our culture that it has become the Berlin Wall of the gender wars - or rather the war of feminism against men. In fact women initiate violence against their partners in an almost equal ratio to men. And in many cases the violence they inflict is severe (as one woman in a woman's shelter told the director, "knives make great levellers").
For all the men who have suffered at the hands of battering women, a chunk of stone just fell out of that huge gendered wall. In a taxpayer lawsuit by four male victims of DV, the Third District appellate court in California reversed a previous ruling holding that because they are not statistically situated with women, men are not entitled to equal protection. The new ruling declares the exclusion of men from Domestic Violence programs unconstitutional.
The presenting case, that of David Woods and his daughter Maegan, now in her early 20s, was compelling because the evidence was irrefutable, the worst case of gender bias in this area I have ever seen. David Woods is a handicapped man in a wheelchair, incapable of living on his own, and dependent (or was during the relevant period, the 1980s, when Meagan was a young girl) on his wife Ruth, who is bi-polar with violent tendencies. David frequently attempted to get help from a Sacramento DV agency, who always told him "We don't help men," explaining that men were perpetrators of violence, never victims, the usual mantra so clearly inapplicable to his situation. Churches and various other programs were equally unhelpful.
If David had fled with his daughter, he would have been arrested for kidnapping, unlike women with children who are offered shelter and sympathy. He would certainly have lost custody in a divorce, so neither flight nor divorce would have served Meagan's interests. Bias in the law enforcement system exacerbated the problem. In one 1995 incident, Ruth aimed a shotgun at Meagan. David managed to wrest it from her. Ruth called the police, telling them she wanted to kill her husband, but when the police arrived, they immediately handcuffed him.
People who have followed the heartrending story of the Woods family can only rejoice at this moral victory, which of course comes too late to rewrite the tragic trajectory of Meagan's unhappy childhood, but hopefully will provide a strong foundation for the reversal of the tide of gender bias the case represents.
The entrenched prejudices against men in the DV industry know no borders. California today, other states tomorrow. And Canada? The issues are the same, the right of taxpayers to equal access to services is the same, the bias in the legal system is the same, and the cultural blindness to the plight of male suffering is the same.
It would be a grace note for judges here to take note of the chunk of wall on the ground, and pick up a proactive hammer. The faster this wall comes down, the better for democracy and for gender relations, soured by years of feminists' indifference to the suffering of male victims and their children.
I think when people have experienced something, it's easy to take up that banner and make it a cause, to increase awareness and make something good come of bad.
I think in some cases, people involved in causes, like you SS are involved in courts unfairness with child custody and domestic violence against men - tend to believe it is more widespread than it is. You appear to have the belief based on your experience that women are usually given a better shake by our patriarchal court system, and women who physically tyrannize men are common.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Women are treated VERY harshly by our court system usually. Prostitutes who murder in self-defense are given stiff sentences, until very recently men who killed their wives for trying to leave were given a pass. Women who stand by and do nothing to keep their men from killing the children are given harsher sentences than the men who did the murdering.
I'm sorry you've had a hard time with parenting and marriage, but I really believe you see things from a skewed angle with respect to how common your situation is.
It is amazing to me, that women who struggle with raising children alone but fall a little short are dealt so harsh a blow by the courts for neglect, when the men who tra la la'd off are given a pass.
I think in some cases, people involved in causes, like you SS are involved in courts unfairness with child custody and domestic violence against men - tend to believe it is more widespread than it is. You appear to have the belief based on your experience that women are usually given a better shake by our patriarchal court system, and women who physically tyrannize men are common.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Women are treated VERY harshly by our court system usually. Prostitutes who murder in self-defense are given stiff sentences, until very recently men who killed their wives for trying to leave were given a pass. Women who stand by and do nothing to keep their men from killing the children are given harsher sentences than the men who did the murdering.
I'm sorry you've had a hard time with parenting and marriage, but I really believe you see things from a skewed angle with respect to how common your situation is.
It is amazing to me, that women who struggle with raising children alone but fall a little short are dealt so harsh a blow by the courts for neglect, when the men who tra la la'd off are given a pass.
This says it all!!!!
Men who choose not to abandon their children to their abusers do not choose stay with the abuser, they are electing to stay to protect their kids.
Men who choose not to abandon their children to their abusers do not choose stay with the abuser, they are electing to stay to protect their kids.
BTW you have no idea what situations I have been in nor could you have survived a tenth of them.
Nor do I think I would share them with your ilk.
Please have a most interesting evening doing something that will make the front page newspaper somewhere else and bother someone else.
Nor do I think I would share them with your ilk.
Please have a most interesting evening doing something that will make the front page newspaper somewhere else and bother someone else.
You are not astute in reading people. My son @ three years old had had to have dental work on 13 teeth do the math.
His mom disappeared with him and resurfaced temporarily with a man who sexually molested his son and daughter and had them taken away because of that.
He was also thrown out of the military on a section 8 for doing that to other kids. In the mean time do what you do best and during DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONTH I will try to raise awareness of issues I feel are important.
Again I find you and your credentials suspect and feel you only post on these sites because it is the only place you feel people listen to you. Honestly working with people as I do each day I have a really good feel and with your subsanceless posts the phrase "menat non compos" comes readily to mind.
Why don't you go back to advising 18 year olds to marry or some other sound advise and quit following all of my posts?
I am trying to raise awareness of a topic and you are just revealing yourself to be both a bigot and a chauvinist.
His mom disappeared with him and resurfaced temporarily with a man who sexually molested his son and daughter and had them taken away because of that.
He was also thrown out of the military on a section 8 for doing that to other kids. In the mean time do what you do best and during DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONTH I will try to raise awareness of issues I feel are important.
Again I find you and your credentials suspect and feel you only post on these sites because it is the only place you feel people listen to you. Honestly working with people as I do each day I have a really good feel and with your subsanceless posts the phrase "menat non compos" comes readily to mind.
Why don't you go back to advising 18 year olds to marry or some other sound advise and quit following all of my posts?
I am trying to raise awareness of a topic and you are just revealing yourself to be both a bigot and a chauvinist.
Men who choose not to abandon their children to their abusers do not choose stay with the abuser, they are electing to stay to protect their kids.
So you think their is deserved abuse and undeserved abuse. What exactly is your educational socio-economic background.
Btw only 5% of the ENTIRE world is thought to be 100% clinically sane. Why on earth do you think people, ourselves included, who post on a public forum meet that criteria?
Btw only 5% of the ENTIRE world is thought to be 100% clinically sane. Why on earth do you think people, ourselves included, who post on a public forum meet that criteria?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
