Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Male Domestic Violence Victims

This is domestic violence month... Sooo I thought I would post this article about Med help and see what peoples thoughts were!!



A big piece of stone just fell out of the Domestic Violence version of the Berlin Wall
October 15, 2008, 8:43 AM by Jonathan Kay
Barbara Kay
***@****

http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2008/10/15/barbara-kay-a-big-piece-of-stone-just-fell-out-of-the-domestic-violence-version-of-the-berlin-wall.aspx

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am sure that to 99% of readers the two words "domestic violence" means violence against women. Only. The politically correct view that all domestic violence (DV) can be accounted for either by the inherent aggression and controlling instincts of men or by women's defensive reactions against those instincts is so deeply entrenched in our culture that it has become the Berlin Wall of the gender wars - or rather the war of feminism against men. In fact women initiate violence against their partners in an almost equal ratio to men. And in many cases the violence they inflict is severe (as one woman in a woman's shelter told the director, "knives make great levellers").

For all the men who have suffered at the hands of battering women, a chunk of stone just fell out of that huge gendered wall. In a taxpayer lawsuit by four male victims of DV, the Third District appellate court in California reversed a previous ruling holding that because they are not statistically situated with women, men are not entitled to equal protection. The new ruling declares the exclusion of men from Domestic Violence programs unconstitutional.

The presenting case, that of David Woods and his daughter Maegan, now in her early 20s, was compelling because the evidence was irrefutable, the worst case of gender bias in this area I have ever seen. David Woods is a handicapped man in a wheelchair, incapable of living on his own, and dependent (or was during the relevant period, the 1980s, when Meagan was a young girl) on his wife Ruth, who is bi-polar with violent tendencies. David frequently attempted to get help from a Sacramento DV agency, who always told him "We don't help men," explaining that men were perpetrators of violence, never victims, the usual mantra so clearly inapplicable to his situation. Churches and various other programs were equally unhelpful.

If David had fled with his daughter, he would have been arrested for kidnapping, unlike women with children who are offered shelter and sympathy. He would certainly have lost custody in a divorce, so neither flight nor divorce would have served Meagan's interests. Bias in the law enforcement system exacerbated the problem. In one 1995 incident, Ruth aimed a shotgun at Meagan. David managed to wrest it from her. Ruth called the police, telling them she wanted to kill her husband, but when the police arrived, they immediately handcuffed him.

People who have followed the heartrending story of the Woods family can only rejoice at this moral victory, which of course comes too late to rewrite the tragic trajectory of Meagan's unhappy childhood, but hopefully will provide a strong foundation for the reversal of the tide of gender bias the case represents.
The entrenched prejudices against men in the DV industry know no borders. California today, other states tomorrow. And Canada? The issues are the same, the right of taxpayers to equal access to services is the same, the bias in the legal system is the same, and the cultural blindness to the plight of male suffering is the same.

It would be a grace note for judges here to take note of the chunk of wall on the ground, and pick up a proactive hammer. The faster this wall comes down, the better for democracy and for gender relations, soured by years of feminists' indifference to the suffering of male victims and their children.
31 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I had early role model who had an abusive towards most people.  Like I said victims do not choose to be victims they are attracted to traits that unless they are careful will repeatedly draw abusers to them.

I am not a by any means weak as when I finished in the military I even considered and had the opportunity to go "professional" security in different countries but chose at the time not to do so.  I am the equivalent of a low black belt and can easily hold my own in almost any interpersonal relationship.  I was taught however that you protect children always and you never hit women EVER no matter what they are doing or who they were doing it too.  This was ingrained into me to the point of being reflex.  You have never had kids by your own statements and never had to protect them from their own parent so I don't know if you even have a place to speak on this.

I do know that you are highly offensive, had made comments that make you sound like a user and quite generally give some of the worst advise to couples in situations that you generally have no experience dealing with.

Why?  Are you that desperate for self affirmation?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
One more thing, I am not talking about children being abused or being a victim of someone who is psychotic or serial killer/rapist.  I'm talking about sane adults who chose other sane adults who abuse them.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you.  Using your logic women deserve to be raped, all abusers advertise who they are, and people whose children get molested problably had it coming.

Get a life!  One of the few hobbies I have, or missions is helping other men who have been abused etc.  Most abusers do not advertise what they are.

To date I have been in my entire lifetime involved with 2 abusive women. The majority of women have been exceptional people who are and will always be dear friends. But victims usually are victims because they are attracted to a trai that seems familiar to them and unless they are careful each time a woman seems familiar its because they match what their abuser was like.  Women do the same thing.

Your comment though was out of line and I could not imagine saying that you deserved rape or abuse which is what you essentially have just said about me and other victims.

Mayflowers look up
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Someone want to tell me how much time Peterson got sentenced to and what type of evidence was used to convict him of murdering his wife?

Meanwhile the dentist her rolled over husband got probation (I believe) even though she repeatedly squashed him with the car with the kids watching until he died
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It happens to guys all the time.

Like the article says..

I was a courtroom observer one time and watched an obvious drug addict go into a courtroom say that her boyfriend said that he was going to plant bombs in the sewer systems to cause the house to be pulled into the ground.

She was given tempoary custody of kids child services had taken away from her and a temporary order of protection.  This stuff happens to men thousands of times in a day with no burden of proof required.

Plus police departments under the violence against women act actually recieve money as "subsidies or grants" for arresting men at DV sites even if the man is the one that calls the police and in some cases is the one absorbing violence for years to protect the kids.

Heck I know one man who is an illegal immigrant where he has kids is not married, is abused by his girlfriend but is kept on a tight reign because she threatens to have him deported where he will never see his son unless he does exactly what she wants.

NOW helped create a broken system that is unfair but they don't want to fix it they just want women to be immune to it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Last year my g/f started hitting me, all I did was stand there never lifted a hand.  He mother started hitting me as well, then her mother got a knife and tried to stab me in the heart.  I side stepped her effort and took th knife away from her slicing up my hand badly.  When the police arrived I was arrested.  How is that??  I know some of you are going to read this and think that I'm not telling the whole story.  But That is it!!
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.