Aa
Cheating
Will a relationship ever be the same again if one partner has cheated,I mean you may be able to forgive but do you ever really forget?It's a known fact that men cheat more than women do.Ladies,would you take your man back if he cheated on you?
Best Answer
Dead memory--- first message was for u. My apologies if I offended you. Thank u for comment. Peace, hope love and best wishes
Sorry to have offended you. I told you that I respected you, did I not? And I am not sure why you stated that people can be hyprocrits.. are you implying that I am for some reason? And I just re read this entire thread.. actually it doesn't at all seem like I ripped you apart.. I think I was tastefully disagreeing with some of the points you had made regarding this topic.
If you were implying I was being a hyprocrite, do tell me how.
Again, my apologies for offending you...
If you were implying I was being a hyprocrite, do tell me how.
Again, my apologies for offending you...
I do think sometimes people can be such hypocrits. Really. Enough said there. Peace.
Dead memory. Your are entitled to your opinion. it did seem like u ripped me apart. I won't do the same to you. Best wishes. Peace out
You all make excellent and valid points ladies.I guess If people realized they could lose everything just for a moment pleasure or lust then I'm sure the would think twice.I also agree with what some of you have said,that the relationship would never be the same again.You all deserve the top answer vote because what you have expressed is genuine and comes from the heart,I hope that people in the future read all your answers and learn from them before they make that life changing mistake,especially men.Temptation,lust and desire is no excuse.The woman you love should always be the one and for the women,the man you love should always be the one.Nothing good will ever come from cheating,only bad.
Agree with Specialmom about everyone is entitled to handle his/her life as he/she sees fit and for me cheating is a "dealbreaker." That may or may not be the case for other people. My decision would have nothing to do with "jealousy" or an "ego" or not having the ability to forgive, but that I hold fidelity and respect to the highest level. People have different reasons for choosing to accept this or not. Not to mention the risk of contracting an STD.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but if I found out he was cheating, it would be over. I have seen too many friends and family members experience this and then try to stick it out only in the end being extremely miserable. All trust is lost and then you are questioning every move your cheating partners makes and have no peace of mind.
I would rather have no man over a cheating man. Keep in mind that's what I would do.
I can accept alot of things, but cheating is NOT one.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but if I found out he was cheating, it would be over. I have seen too many friends and family members experience this and then try to stick it out only in the end being extremely miserable. All trust is lost and then you are questioning every move your cheating partners makes and have no peace of mind.
I would rather have no man over a cheating man. Keep in mind that's what I would do.
I can accept alot of things, but cheating is NOT one.
You and I are on the same page.
Many call an affair a "mistake". I don't see it that way - It's an INTENTIONAL plan to do something that You ALREADY know is going to bring great harm to Your Spouse, Your Marriage and Your Family. One ALREADY knows this - that's why they slip and slide and sneak around to have an affair. That's why I can't see it as a "mistake". I see it as a CHOICE - a bad choice - but a choice indeed.
Perhaps that's the difference between will You stay, or won't You?
Those who can view it as a "mistake" are "willing" to "forgive"
Those who see it as an "intentional" betrayal, cannot/will not.
Personally, in my first marriage I did....and then I didn't anymore - so I form my opinion by having gone both ways
Many call an affair a "mistake". I don't see it that way - It's an INTENTIONAL plan to do something that You ALREADY know is going to bring great harm to Your Spouse, Your Marriage and Your Family. One ALREADY knows this - that's why they slip and slide and sneak around to have an affair. That's why I can't see it as a "mistake". I see it as a CHOICE - a bad choice - but a choice indeed.
Perhaps that's the difference between will You stay, or won't You?
Those who can view it as a "mistake" are "willing" to "forgive"
Those who see it as an "intentional" betrayal, cannot/will not.
Personally, in my first marriage I did....and then I didn't anymore - so I form my opinion by having gone both ways
Stupid phone.
Anyways, to each his/her own. I am getting worked up over nothing. You are entitled to your opinions and I honestly do respect you and what you have to say.. I know it sounded like I just ripped you apart.. my apologies... for it was not my intention.
Love between two people should be just that... between those two people. I have been cheated on too.. I have been there. Of course it was with a piece of sh*t whom I wouldn't even spit in his direction.
It is sad how people just throw the word love around like it meant nothing.
I'm rambling. Again, my friend.. Hobby, I wish the best for you.. I swear I meant no offense and hope you have a nice day.
(I think it is very valuable to see everybodys points of view.. that's why I love being a member)
Anyways, to each his/her own. I am getting worked up over nothing. You are entitled to your opinions and I honestly do respect you and what you have to say.. I know it sounded like I just ripped you apart.. my apologies... for it was not my intention.
Love between two people should be just that... between those two people. I have been cheated on too.. I have been there. Of course it was with a piece of sh*t whom I wouldn't even spit in his direction.
It is sad how people just throw the word love around like it meant nothing.
I'm rambling. Again, my friend.. Hobby, I wish the best for you.. I swear I meant no offense and hope you have a nice day.
(I think it is very valuable to see everybodys points of view.. that's why I love being a member)
I respect your opinion, Hobby.. but I RESPECTIVELY disagree. Yes life and love takes a lot of patience and understanding.. but someone who is willing to cheat and hurt that person they "love" doesn't really know the meaning of love.. yes we are human, we make mistakes.. I get it. I don't get "cheating" and no, I don't believe it is people's "egos" that get in the way of forgiveness.. jealousy most likely than ego. And it all comes down on what you can live with? Its easier to hang on to the anger? No... not if you don't have to. And when you say all it does is hurt yourself... you're not the one who did this to yourself. If someone says they love you and they devote their life to you.. it should be only YOU. Not you and the attractive co-worker or whatever. And no, its not hard to generalize
It's hard to generalize that you would never cheat or not cheat forgiv or not til you are in the situation for yourself. Life or love isn't easy sometimes. It takes patience and understanding. It really comes down to what you can live with. So often it's ego or jealousy that can get in the way of forgiveness. It's easier to hold a grudge then to forgive. Easier to hang on to the anger and all u really do is hurt yourself. This is coming from someone who has lived through very tough things and still growing. Just my thoughts.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Everyone is entitled to handle their life as they see fit. As there is never an excuse, some may remain with their partner and forgive them which is their choice ---- equally as valid as those who'd be gone under any circumstances. Can't blame anyone for **** what is in their hearts.
I'm just hoping I'm never faced with the situation in real life ---- but hypothetically, there are some situations that I'd do my best to forgive my husband. (just don't tell him that in case he thinks that is a pass of some sort . . . LOL)
I'm just hoping I'm never faced with the situation in real life ---- but hypothetically, there are some situations that I'd do my best to forgive my husband. (just don't tell him that in case he thinks that is a pass of some sort . . . LOL)
Cheating is selfish, plain and simple. I respect those who say they could still be with someone even if they cheated... but I mean COME ON! There is no excuse in this universe that could EVER justify infidelity.
Have to agree with Deadmemory and Tink.
Cheating is NEVER to be accepted in any shape or form; one night stand or affair, etc.......NO way.
If someone was that selfish to put me at risk for contracting a disease, breaking up our marriage or relationship, etc. just to have seconds of ecstasy with another woman, I DON'T want him.
I understand someone can make a mistake, but there ISN'T that much love in the world to overlook cheating.
If he is that WEAK to let his "johnson" rule his decision-making or his world I would assume let the other woman have him. In fact, I probably would tell him to contact the other woman because he will be needing somewhere else to stay.
Cheating is NEVER to be accepted in any shape or form; one night stand or affair, etc.......NO way.
If someone was that selfish to put me at risk for contracting a disease, breaking up our marriage or relationship, etc. just to have seconds of ecstasy with another woman, I DON'T want him.
I understand someone can make a mistake, but there ISN'T that much love in the world to overlook cheating.
If he is that WEAK to let his "johnson" rule his decision-making or his world I would assume let the other woman have him. In fact, I probably would tell him to contact the other woman because he will be needing somewhere else to stay.
Cheating is so bad and it ruins the trust and brings about serious hurt. The person cheated on goes through a series of "was I not good enough?", "am I not pretty/handsome enough?" etc. It would take a time to get back to a particular place and the relationship and I don't think it could ever be the same. Many persons who had partners that cheated and continued on in the relationship, find it hard to let go of what happened. So everytime their significant other goes out, they are literally frantic wondering "who's he/she with?" , "maybe he/she is lying again!". Then the accusations start and the long arguments follow.
HOWEVER, love has a way of surpassing things that you feel you will never get out of. And so I believe that if two persons were willing enough, they could be together. It wouldn't be perfect but it could be near perfect. If I had a guy and he cheated on, yea I'd probably take him back. Some things are unforgivable though such as: sleeping with my friends, or his co-worker, or someone within close proximity of him, I don't think I could deal with that.
Anna
HOWEVER, love has a way of surpassing things that you feel you will never get out of. And so I believe that if two persons were willing enough, they could be together. It wouldn't be perfect but it could be near perfect. If I had a guy and he cheated on, yea I'd probably take him back. Some things are unforgivable though such as: sleeping with my friends, or his co-worker, or someone within close proximity of him, I don't think I could deal with that.
Anna
I agree with what specialmom says. It depends on the circumstances. And no one can never forget.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It would depend on the circumstances. If my husband had a one night stand, then yes, I'd take him back as long as he was remorseful. If he had an affair and did everything possible to make it up to me, I'd consider staying with him. If he were a serial cheater with no desire to change, he'd be gone. good luck
I agree with deadmemory. I also like Her statement about being WILLING to jeopordize everything for a 5 second orgasm. It take a lot of effort, planning, timing, deceit, etc.. etc., to have an affair in the first place - WAY more time invested in putting it together - all for a 5 second orgasm.
Question #2
Many people do stay in the relationship (and kudos to them), but having been there, done that, I insist that it FOREVER changes things. I stayed for a very long time but the affairs continued (and continued, and continued) and FINALLY I did leave.
Question #1
It's never "forgotten". One would have to TOTALLY "forget" in order to TOTALLY "forgive". Infidelity is not a "forgettable" incident". Finding a way to "accept" it doesn't mean it's forgotten - so, it does forever change the "happily ever after" - even when the marriage endures it's no longer the same as it was before.
Question #2
Many people do stay in the relationship (and kudos to them), but having been there, done that, I insist that it FOREVER changes things. I stayed for a very long time but the affairs continued (and continued, and continued) and FINALLY I did leave.
Question #1
It's never "forgotten". One would have to TOTALLY "forget" in order to TOTALLY "forgive". Infidelity is not a "forgettable" incident". Finding a way to "accept" it doesn't mean it's forgotten - so, it does forever change the "happily ever after" - even when the marriage endures it's no longer the same as it was before.
I think you expressed your views perfectly Krystal and I agree,when you look at the big picture family is everything and so is a relationship and you're right for a few moments of lust you are risking a lifetime of pain and loss.It's just not worth it.You can end up losing everything for absolutely nothing.
If you love each other enough---- you have to find away to forgive I think because the alternative(living without them ) is more painful then living with what they have done. I think dishonesty sometimes can b worse then anything. I think relationships over time can b complicated and it's unlikely the one who cheated is the only one to blame for things getting off track. Just my thoughts.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
For what, a five second orgasm? Sex is all in the mind after all. Sorry, if I don't mean that much to you that you'd jeopordize everything for 5 seconds of an orgasm... hit the road!
My bf and I are on the same page when it comes to this topic.. thank goodness. I feel sad for those who are betrayed by a partner.. especially when children are involved. And another quick rant before I conclude... what kind of human being goes for another person who is involved in a relationship... UGH it boils my blood. My father and mother have been married for 28 years and he went to prison last year... the moment he was sent East she moved in with another man.. I was the one to tell my father because she was too chicken sh*t. My poor dad is devestated! My dad was a GOOD husband to her too.. its crazy!
Ok.. sorry, I had to vent.. this is a touchy subject for me..
Krystal