Racism

[cutipup100]

I am in a relationship with a black male. I am white and my parents totally dissaprove. I have always been attracted to black men, just my preference. I don't know why or how but it is. They know about this but hate it. Even talking about it makes an argument. They have said harsh things in the past because of my interracial dating too. How  do I talk to them about this? How can I be okay with it? Do you think they will ever get over it?

[RockRose]

Just in general,  cutipup,  don't choose a fixer upper.  Choose a man who looks PERFECT in every way - in time,  you'll see cracks in the armor,  but he'll still be a much better match than choosing a guy who'll do after you get through changing him.  

Doesn't work that way -

[cutipup100]

I agree that will probably happen I probably won't have their support. And no I am not doing this despite them I am doing this because that is who I find attractive. I am not that type. And I am 24 this has been going on a while lol. But I kind of wish it wasn't the case because its something I hate dealing with. I want things to work with my current boyfriend and I love him but there is fixing up to do there as well. Thank you for your advice.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You are not likely to change Your Parents' attitude as They are not changing Yours.

I note Your statement  "I have always been attracted to black Men, just My preference"  -  are You sure this isn't somewhat a racist statement??

Men are Men irregardless of color - might You be "attracted" to black Men as a statement to Mom and Dad?

Otherwise, I agree with RockRose.  You will not change Your Parents' views and if You marry outside Their race You must prepare YourSelf not to have Their support.  

Good Luck

[RockRose]

If they are racist,  it's unlikely you can change that.  Since this relationship has a lot of problems and you aren't sure it's going anywhere,  maybe this isn't the time to focus on getting your family to accept him.  You don't say what all the problems are,  but I wouldn't be happy to accept a relationship of my kids if there were lots of barriers.  

In the future if you marry and have children with a man of a different race and they refuse to accept him,  you might need to cut ties with your family -it's your choice - but if you choose a partner that is great in every way except your family doesn't like his race,  that will put a huge strain on your marriage.

[cutipup100]

Yes he is... we have our fair share of problems (not too sure if our relationship is going anywhere as of now)but this has always been a problem the racism issue. So if its him or someone else it doesnt really matter but yes he attends school, very smart, has a great job and is looking for an even better one ( a career).. This is a new relationship, (other problems with him and I) that need to be fixed.

[RockRose]

Is this guy you're in a relationship the kind of guy they would welcome, in general?  (Friendly,  respectful,  from a good family,  has a good job,  has a good education,  prospects for the future?)