Stupidity & In a Relationship with Children.

[concernau]

I'm in a committed relationship, with children, and I've finally come to terms with my stupidity over the last couple of years.

I've visited several massage parlours secretly an adult massage, and on two occasions covered oral sex.

I want to try and make things right again, and start over, but I don't want to damage my relationship.

How can I forgive myself, and try to be a better person again like I used to be a few years ago?

[VICourageous]

Take a Deep Breath and just move on..Learn from this mistake and do not do it again if you want to be in a serious relationship..We have all made mistakes. Some are shared and others are left alone..This one would be better off just to forget..Time will be one your side. I do not think it will be brought up..Or shall I say I sure pray it does not..Do not beat your self up right now just let it be..I wish you the best.
Bless

[concernau]

Hi specialmom,

Thanks for the advice! I'll be trying my BEST to be who I was meant to be, before this downward spiral occurred in my life.

I was never this way, and I strongly believe it's mostly my fault, and a small part would be due to the friends/circles that I had joined, and somehow wanted to please.

One thing that really scares me though, is not being able to succeed in life due to being scared that all my bad choices would surface eventually. If I ended up being someone great, and one of these girls found out who I was and some how told on me, or blackmailed me, then I would be in a world of hurt.

Am I overanalyzing this, or have I been watching too many movies?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Sorry you these choices.  I'm hoping you have found the motivation within yourself to deny these types of urges and have impulse control.  If you have, that is good and you go from there.

Personally, if you want to keep your relationship, then your best plan of action if you are sure that this type of activity will never happen again is to tell no one.  Take it to your grave.  Make sure you are std free by getting a full panel of tests.  Then spend the rest of your life being the best, and I mean BEST, partner you can be to your spouse/girlfriend.  Be the best parent you can be.  Go over the top being a 'good guy' to these people.  

I don't know if forgiving yourself matters all that much.  I have mistakes that I've made that I still kick myself for.  Wish I'd never made them. But I did.  They made me wiser though and that is of benefit.  

so, you know what is important to you.  never mess it up again.  And do your penance by being a superb partner.  

good luck