Aa
This doesn't have to do with my period but it's very important.
it's easy having a perfect family. but mine isn't. my two brothers are constantly telling me I'm fat or ugly or an idiot. my parents are always telling me I need to lose weight. they want me to be a perfect daughter with perfect grades and the perfect body. but that's never the case with me. either I'm too fat or ugly. I hate the way I look because I know everyone in high school is going to look at me and think I'm fat or I'm ugly and it hurts knowing that. it hurts knowing that I won't ever get a boyfriend because of it. and I NEED to change myself. I hate the way I look. it ***** being compared to all these perfect people around me because it makes you want to look like them. so because of it, I play club volleyball. and I'm actually quite good. for volleyball my parents hired a personal trainer. I'm even heavier than I was when I started and I eat fine. I look at my stomach every day and hate it. I hate my body and I want to change it. what can I do because it seems like I do everything and it doesn't work.
same problem with me...everyone saying am fat,,i should work on that...i am so depressed due to my weight...
hey ...know what..i have the same problem too right now...my mom ,friends telling me am fat..u know some times i got depressed..but instead of taking it in a negative way..am working to finish this problem...i.e 1 hour walk..less portion of food...concentrating on healthy diet...please my advice to you don't take it in a negative way..may be we can help each other in motivation...???message me if you really want to...i support u..because i can feel your problem...
That was really helpful! thank you so much. I really needed to hear that❤️
1 Comments
You're very welcome. Hope you let us know how you're doing.
EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL IN THEIR OWN WAY. If you believe this truly, then understand, it applies to you too!!! Hoping to hear more from you BEAUTIFUL...
You'll have a harder time fighting against the negative talk around you, then you will have to find a partner who can love a full figured women , especially one who can play a sport like volleyball (good for you) So i highly agree that if your parents can afford a coach, see if they have insurance or can afford a therapist. You can keep it simple, telling them you reel anxious and depressed, and want a professional life coach to help you with the independence and mental side of the nutritional and exercise program you are working on for yourself.
Your parent's have proven that they are not capable of discussing your goals in terms of imparting wisdom and positivity, so I wouldn't bother telling your parents that the therapy is needed partially because of their inability to express unconditional love, that would just be counter productive to your goal of finding the right kind of support. What you learn from therapy how to deal with those that are cruel and thoughtless and how to move forward without bringing the past abuse really, with you. No putting your parents or family immediately in defensive mode.
I know i had a huge change in my excess weight gain after checking out Dr. Joel Fuhrman, you might recognize the name as he's on Dr. Phil all the time. I read Eat to Live and it made a whole lot of sense to me. I gradually changed the percentage of vegetables on my plate and lost a ton of weight. and kept it off to date. In the book it tells you the nutritional values of vegetables so you can replace other foods for vegetables. and fruit. nuts seeds. Stuff that has the least calories and the highest nutritional value. This might be the missing link, i noticed that you talked about exercise but not your nutrition, as it's essential that they coexist to have harmony.
It 's sometimes hard to see it when living at home under someone else's vibe, but soon you will be out in the world choosing your own friends (hopefully in college). You will be your own master and master of your own fate. You choose your own happiness and your own type of people in your life. Something for you to look forward to (although it can start anytime ie. your being in the drivers seat judging who you accept to be influential in your life, or your psychi )
I agree that you may have a highly skewered view of your self image, if you are healthy enough to play volleyball, it seems that the things that people are saying about your image may be far too harsh and not something that you should give any credibility to. I hope to hear you've found a life coach worth listening to. We're here for the long run. Everything is going to work out , just keep reaching out for the right answers to your problems. and you'll be fine.
Don't be swayed by ignorant people. Life lesson no. 1.
Liz
Your parent's have proven that they are not capable of discussing your goals in terms of imparting wisdom and positivity, so I wouldn't bother telling your parents that the therapy is needed partially because of their inability to express unconditional love, that would just be counter productive to your goal of finding the right kind of support. What you learn from therapy how to deal with those that are cruel and thoughtless and how to move forward without bringing the past abuse really, with you. No putting your parents or family immediately in defensive mode.
I know i had a huge change in my excess weight gain after checking out Dr. Joel Fuhrman, you might recognize the name as he's on Dr. Phil all the time. I read Eat to Live and it made a whole lot of sense to me. I gradually changed the percentage of vegetables on my plate and lost a ton of weight. and kept it off to date. In the book it tells you the nutritional values of vegetables so you can replace other foods for vegetables. and fruit. nuts seeds. Stuff that has the least calories and the highest nutritional value. This might be the missing link, i noticed that you talked about exercise but not your nutrition, as it's essential that they coexist to have harmony.
It 's sometimes hard to see it when living at home under someone else's vibe, but soon you will be out in the world choosing your own friends (hopefully in college). You will be your own master and master of your own fate. You choose your own happiness and your own type of people in your life. Something for you to look forward to (although it can start anytime ie. your being in the drivers seat judging who you accept to be influential in your life, or your psychi )
I agree that you may have a highly skewered view of your self image, if you are healthy enough to play volleyball, it seems that the things that people are saying about your image may be far too harsh and not something that you should give any credibility to. I hope to hear you've found a life coach worth listening to. We're here for the long run. Everything is going to work out , just keep reaching out for the right answers to your problems. and you'll be fine.
Don't be swayed by ignorant people. Life lesson no. 1.
Liz
If you're good at volleyball, it's hard to imagine you're all that heavy.
And as Annie says, people of all sizes are in relationships. Just go out in public and you'll see a lot of heavy girls with boyfriends/husbands.
I will say this - if you're working out a lot, it's VERY hard to lose weight - because strenuous workouts cause an adrenalin reaction that tells your body to turn off the metabolism. If you are working out strenuously a couple times a week - or even daily - you will likely pick up fat. It may be that not everyone is like this - maybe some people lose fat with serious workouts - but I'm not one of them. Working out makes me pack on the fat (and it's not just "muscles are heavier than fat", it's fat accumulation).
If you want to lose weight, cut carbs and walk. At a moderate pace in a fairly flat area. About 5 miles a morning.
Best wishes.
And as Annie says, people of all sizes are in relationships. Just go out in public and you'll see a lot of heavy girls with boyfriends/husbands.
I will say this - if you're working out a lot, it's VERY hard to lose weight - because strenuous workouts cause an adrenalin reaction that tells your body to turn off the metabolism. If you are working out strenuously a couple times a week - or even daily - you will likely pick up fat. It may be that not everyone is like this - maybe some people lose fat with serious workouts - but I'm not one of them. Working out makes me pack on the fat (and it's not just "muscles are heavier than fat", it's fat accumulation).
If you want to lose weight, cut carbs and walk. At a moderate pace in a fairly flat area. About 5 miles a morning.
Best wishes.
If they constantly tell you that you're fat, ugly or an idiot and trying to make you ashamed of your weight, your family is by no means a perfect family, and the individuals in it are not perfect either. Your parents in particular should know that there is such a thing as unconditional love. They should not allow this constant bullying of you, and they should certainly not be part of it with their negative messages to you.
If your parents are willing to hire a personal trainer for you, ask if they will set you up with a counselor or therapist. Work with the counselor on body-positive imagery and especially on how to push back against the constant barrage of negative images your family is putting on you. Do you have an aunt in whom you can confide who will not join in the chorus of fat-shaming and rudeness? Or a friend's mom? Because your family's approach is really mean.
People of all shapes and sizes get boyfriends and get married. If your family is not going to help you feel better about you, you have to take the lead, even at such a young age. I'm sorry it should be so, for some people their mom and dad are their refuge. In your case, you have to develop a different plan and learn some strategies to be able to tell yourself that you are a valid person walking this earth just the way you are. Because you are.
(((HUGS))),
Annie
If your parents are willing to hire a personal trainer for you, ask if they will set you up with a counselor or therapist. Work with the counselor on body-positive imagery and especially on how to push back against the constant barrage of negative images your family is putting on you. Do you have an aunt in whom you can confide who will not join in the chorus of fat-shaming and rudeness? Or a friend's mom? Because your family's approach is really mean.
People of all shapes and sizes get boyfriends and get married. If your family is not going to help you feel better about you, you have to take the lead, even at such a young age. I'm sorry it should be so, for some people their mom and dad are their refuge. In your case, you have to develop a different plan and learn some strategies to be able to tell yourself that you are a valid person walking this earth just the way you are. Because you are.
(((HUGS))),
Annie
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