To break up or not break up

[Amie635]

My friend has a problem. She's 19, and shes been with her boyfriend for around 6 months now. He's 24. He was her first boyfriend since she was about 16, and she met someone who she fell inlove with, he moved away and they carried on pining for each other with visits every now an then, and sometimes phonecalls until she put a stop to it when she met this new guy. Theres nothing wrong with him, he's polite, handsome, a genuine nice guy, who she knows would never hurt her. He listens, he cares and he loves her.

The problem is, she doesn't love him. She never says it back, and he understands there both in different places. She thinks he's perfect, just not for her. She can't fault him, and she really wishes she could. She isn't happy, and she's passive about seeing him, she doesn't mind either way. She also doesn't get jealous, not even a healthy amount when he's around other girls. She doesn't like feel obligated to him, and she misses her independance.

On the other hand, she know's he's a lovely guy who is marriage material. She's worried she'll regret ending it with someone for silly reasons like him irritating her. She knows how head over heels he is, and she doesn't want to hurt him. She keeps saying to herself, 'ill give it a couple more weeks, then see how i feel' once that time comes, she gives herself another few weeks. She says if she was 24 maybe things would be different. she's going to uni and just isn't sure if there compatible.

She's 50/50 and needs some advise

[garfield844]

You are waaaayyyy to young to even think about marriage! No person is marriage material at that age. You are still growing and discovering yourself. Life is too short to be with someone you don't care about.

My advise would be to be a 19 year old and enjoy your life and don't hold your breath for Mr Right just yet. You are young and you are going to have many many heart aches.

You sound like me. I am 25 years old...and i wish i was married by now. The reason i'm not...is because i wasted time holding onto every guy i thought was the one when i was your age. So i might have missed out on Mr Right while i was trying to turn Mr Wrong into Mr Right!

[sweetpea03]

If she has no intention of marrying him, then she needs to let him go and be single. I think it's mean to string someone along when you don't think you have any future with that person. He's 24 and looking for a spouse, so if she doesn't want him in that way, then they should break up.

[Amie635]

the only reason ive posted this, is because she is with me, saying this via my profile. we just didnt want to make a whole new profile so she could ask this question, when i have one i use regularily.

also, she has no intention of marrying him, she was just saying thats the kind of guy he is, there both to young to tie the knot just yet.

thanks for your advise

[lostchild222]

It's a little strange that you are asking this questions for her.  You seem very involved but it could be that you care a lot about your friend.

So here's my free advice for someone in this situation.  

Even though he is marriage material, it doesn't sound like he really means that much to her.  If she marries him, she will probably be bored soon and then things happen like affairs, drugs to get through the boredom, stuff like that.

She's young and doesn't need to settle down right now if she is not truely head over heals in love.

The best thing for both people is to take a break from the relationship, figure out what they want, and then either get married to each other without regrets or move on to other people who are more suitable for them.

She may find that after not being with him for a while, he really does mean a lot to her and that she does want to marry him.  Hope this all works out for everyone concerned.