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973741 tn?1342346373

What is your stress coping style?

Here are some different ways people cope with stress:
Humor. Pointing out the amusing aspects of the problem at hand, or "positive reframing," is thought to help deal with small failures.
Seeking support. Asking for help, or finding emotional support from family members or friends, can be an effective way of maintaining emotional health during a stressful period.
Problem-solving. As described above, problem solving is an instrumental coping mechanism that aims to locate the source of the problem and determine solutions. This coping mechanism is often helpful in work situations.
Relaxation. Engaging in relaxing activities, or practicing calming techniques, can help to manage stress and improve overall coping.
Physical recreation. Regular exercise, such as running, or team sports, is a good way to handle the stress of given situation. This may involve yoga, meditating, progressive muscle relaxation, among other techniques of relaxation.
Adjusting expectations. Anticipating various outcomes to scenarios in life may assist in preparing for the stress associated with any given change or event.
Denial. Avoidance of the issue altogether may lead to denying that a problem even exists. Denial is usually maintained by distractions, such as excessive alcohol consumption, overworking, or sleeping more than usual.
Self-blame. Internalizing the issue, and blaming oneself (beyond just taking responsibility for one's actions), leads to low-self esteem and sometimes depression.
Venting. An externalizing coping technique, venting is the outward expression of emotions, usually in the company of friends or family. In moderation it can be healthy; however, ruminating on the negative can lead to strained relationships over time

What is your most used style?  Does it work for you?
7 Responses
495284 tn?1333897642
Music and reaching out.   I listen to rock when i am stressed out, or even if i am not!  Music is good for my soul.  This summer i did have to reach out and talk about what was going on with my daughter.  My love of music just didnt get me where i needed to be.  I have a great support system in place with my recovery  so i know what i need to do during the critical times but the music is still on and blaring!!  I dont normally spend alot of time in the stress mode as i try and pick my battles and my mother used to always say to me  "this wont affect your wedding day"!!!
134578 tn?1578161083
Getting a haircut. (As long as it's a good one.)

Shopping for trivial things (ex: -- clothes not groceries). Obviously overspending would be a lousy way to deal with stress, but when I was in law school we called it 'retail therapy.' We were all away from home (in my case, across the country from home) and reading, studying, writing and just barely having enough time to do our laundry or make and eat food (I lost a lot of weight during law school). Just the simple act of going to a mall every now and then and walking around did make me feel like there was still a familiar world somewhere even if I temporarily wasn't in it. I didn't buy much but remember being surprised how normal it made me feel just to be in a retail palace walking around. Nowadays I shop online for the non-necessities, but probably it's still a form of stress relief.

Getting on the computer in general is an obvious form of stress relief for me, I am totally sure. Unfortunately, it's a little more insidious because it's available with no effort. The good news is, it's better if I'm on the computer doing random things than getting into a fight with my husband when he has been irritating. (Today he did a prolonged set, three in a row of repeated angry complaints about things that weren't my fault that I had to solve -- find his car keys, look up how to fix his iPhone and then fix it, and get our son to hurry up about something -- and I'd basically had it. He went to bed and I've been on the computer reading random news bits, looking at pictures of Sarah Ferguson at her daughter's wedding, seeing how much enameled gold rings from the Victorian era cost on eBay, and writing on MedHelp. I'm sure it's a way to get more happy so I won't go up and clout my husband for being a jerk all day. Maybe I should have engaged and asked him why he is being so fussy and demanding. I just didn't want to have to have that conversation at 9 pm on a school night with our son hovering around worried about our tone of voice.)

I could add cooking to the list, but lately cooking has been an expectation more than creative expression, and I assume that will continue as long as I have a kiddo in the house. So, X cooking off the list until I can do it for fun again.
495284 tn?1333897642
Do you have your law degree?
134578 tn?1578161083
Yes. Sometimes when someone doesn't like the answer I'm giving them on the DNA/Paternity community and demands to know what makes me think I know what I'm talking about, am I a doctor or something? I tell them no, I'm a lawyer. Surprisingly, it seems to work.
973741 tn?1342346373
I will drive everyone crazy because when something happens . . . I'm a problem solver.  I will set to work on my computer looking things up, printing things off, making lists of what to do or try, brain storm and stay very busy.  I think it is an issue of having to feel like I can control something as out of control makes me very uncomfortable.

With my kids I have to reel this in because I guess . . . sigh . . . I'm not supposed to solve all their problems for them.  Sometimes they just want me to listen.  I have to sit on my hands and clamp my jaw shut so that I don't 'launch' with my fix it strategies.  
I also use a lot of humor.  I make fun of myself.  I laugh at whatever I can find.  I joke.  I make myself laugh (usually others just stare at me like "why does she think this terrible thing is funny").

I have also noticed that when I have something I dread or stressful for me coming up such as a meeting, an appointment or . . . a party with my in law's . . . I do really random things that I don't need to do.  I can have 8 million things I need to do for said meeting, appointment or in law party and I'll find myself cleaning the silverware draw or washing out the inside of the dishwasher.  
495284 tn?1333897642
Sounds like you have alot of "nervous" energy!!    My silverware drawer is clean and so is my dishwasher but i do have other things that need attention so next time you feel the need come on over!!!

Annie, where have i been all this time?  I had no clue.  I thought you were a stay at home mom~
134578 tn?1578161083
I don't practice law. I got the degree so nobody in the corporations with whom I worked would question my right to talk to them about their issues. (I worked for a consulting firm.) I still do work for the consulting firm about a day a week -- I edit all their reports, analyses and contracts -- when someone asks what I do, I say "legal editor." I never wanted to go to court. (Writing wills and trusts would be interesting to me, but I just didn't go that route.) Occasionally a friend calls and asks for practical advice over something that has a legal aspect, such as how he gets his drug-using sister to move her furniture out of his house, and it's kind of interesting to combine common-sense advice I might have given before I had legal training with the legal aspects, plus awareness that a lot of these battles aren't won and lost on the legal rights someone has but via tact, since one is dealing with friends and relatives. It's not all about what the law gives but what practicality suggests, I think.
Good to know who to go to for all of my legal questions!!!  :>)))))
It'll be worth what ya pay for it. lol
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