Music and reaching out. I listen to rock when i am stressed out, or even if i am not! Music is good for my soul. This summer i did have to reach out and talk about what was going on with my daughter. My love of music just didnt get me where i needed to be. I have a great support system in place with my recovery so i know what i need to do during the critical times but the music is still on and blaring!! I dont normally spend alot of time in the stress mode as i try and pick my battles and my mother used to always say to me "this wont affect your wedding day"!!!
Getting a haircut. (As long as it's a good one.)
Shopping for trivial things (ex: -- clothes not groceries). Obviously overspending would be a lousy way to deal with stress, but when I was in law school we called it 'retail therapy.' We were all away from home (in my case, across the country from home) and reading, studying, writing and just barely having enough time to do our laundry or make and eat food (I lost a lot of weight during law school). Just the simple act of going to a mall every now and then and walking around did make me feel like there was still a familiar world somewhere even if I temporarily wasn't in it. I didn't buy much but remember being surprised how normal it made me feel just to be in a retail palace walking around. Nowadays I shop online for the non-necessities, but probably it's still a form of stress relief.
Getting on the computer in general is an obvious form of stress relief for me, I am totally sure. Unfortunately, it's a little more insidious because it's available with no effort. The good news is, it's better if I'm on the computer doing random things than getting into a fight with my husband when he has been irritating. (Today he did a prolonged set, three in a row of repeated angry complaints about things that weren't my fault that I had to solve -- find his car keys, look up how to fix his iPhone and then fix it, and get our son to hurry up about something -- and I'd basically had it. He went to bed and I've been on the computer reading random news bits, looking at pictures of Sarah Ferguson at her daughter's wedding, seeing how much enameled gold rings from the Victorian era cost on eBay, and writing on MedHelp. I'm sure it's a way to get more happy so I won't go up and clout my husband for being a jerk all day. Maybe I should have engaged and asked him why he is being so fussy and demanding. I just didn't want to have to have that conversation at 9 pm on a school night with our son hovering around worried about our tone of voice.)
I could add cooking to the list, but lately cooking has been an expectation more than creative expression, and I assume that will continue as long as I have a kiddo in the house. So, X cooking off the list until I can do it for fun again.
Do you have your law degree?
Yes. Sometimes when someone doesn't like the answer I'm giving them on the DNA/Paternity community and demands to know what makes me think I know what I'm talking about, am I a doctor or something? I tell them no, I'm a lawyer. Surprisingly, it seems to work.
I will drive everyone crazy because when something happens . . . I'm a problem solver. I will set to work on my computer looking things up, printing things off, making lists of what to do or try, brain storm and stay very busy. I think it is an issue of having to feel like I can control something as out of control makes me very uncomfortable.
With my kids I have to reel this in because I guess . . . sigh . . . I'm not supposed to solve all their problems for them. Sometimes they just want me to listen. I have to sit on my hands and clamp my jaw shut so that I don't 'launch' with my fix it strategies.
I also use a lot of humor. I make fun of myself. I laugh at whatever I can find. I joke. I make myself laugh (usually others just stare at me like "why does she think this terrible thing is funny").
I have also noticed that when I have something I dread or stressful for me coming up such as a meeting, an appointment or . . . a party with my in law's . . . I do really random things that I don't need to do. I can have 8 million things I need to do for said meeting, appointment or in law party and I'll find myself cleaning the silverware draw or washing out the inside of the dishwasher.
Sounds like you have alot of "nervous" energy!! My silverware drawer is clean and so is my dishwasher but i do have other things that need attention so next time you feel the need come on over!!!
Annie, where have i been all this time? I had no clue. I thought you were a stay at home mom~
I don't practice law. I got the degree so nobody in the corporations with whom I worked would question my right to talk to them about their issues. (I worked for a consulting firm.) I still do work for the consulting firm about a day a week -- I edit all their reports, analyses and contracts -- when someone asks what I do, I say "legal editor." I never wanted to go to court. (Writing wills and trusts would be interesting to me, but I just didn't go that route.) Occasionally a friend calls and asks for practical advice over something that has a legal aspect, such as how he gets his drug-using sister to move her furniture out of his house, and it's kind of interesting to combine common-sense advice I might have given before I had legal training with the legal aspects, plus awareness that a lot of these battles aren't won and lost on the legal rights someone has but via tact, since one is dealing with friends and relatives. It's not all about what the law gives but what practicality suggests, I think.