Wife Uninterested in Sex

[Russell72]

My wife and I have been married for almost three years now and for the past year or so she has shown a noticeable decline in her interest in sex.  We have always had an open line of communication in regards to our sexual relationship and this has been discussed multiple times already.  Every couple months I have brought it up when the frustration seems to be getting at a tipping point and nothing has seemed to change.  I have never demanded an answer for why but asked what I could do differently and she only responds with, "I don't know what's wrong."  We've tried a few things to spice things up and they have worked, temporarily.  We share equally with housework, have no children, and fairly stress-free jobs.  We are both in our late 20's.  Don't know what else to do, have also tried increasing romantic attention to no avail.  

[KeyD]

add my DH and myself to that boat....I have spoke to my gyn and was told it's likely related to daily stress.

[calidreamer77]

well to be honest I have the same problem. it could be just low libido. I think thats whats wrong in my case but they say that women dont even reach their sexual peak untill our 30's so it could just be a phase that her body is going through. my boyfriend and I are in the same boat as you and your lady.

[specialmom]

Women can also have medical things that greatly affect libido.  If her thyroid is low or if she has any sort of depression, libido would take a nose dive as well as hormonal changes.  We ladies see our og gyn at least once a year--------------  this is a good doctor for her to talk to about this.  I'd rule out any medical reasons.  Depression can be at a very low level and someone might not even know they have it.  But as the chemicals in the brain are not balanced (even a little bit out of whack)---------  sex drive can be affected.  Is there any possibility that this is going on?

Now, is it frequency that you have an issue with or her drive (her wanting it/you)?  Those are different.  Some couples do well with a schedule of sorts.  Nope, not romantic----------  but it keeps things going through a period of less desire.  And once she is having sex, I'm sure she enjoys it.  

Last, I'd say that often a lack of intimacy in a relationship can be traced to other underlying issues.  I agree a sex therapist would be a good idea--------- but if you have difficulty finding one or your insurance doesn't cover that, a traditional therapist would help you look at your relationship as a whole and include sexual issues.  

good luck!

[Ashelen]

Well you've been married for 3 years, but how long have you been together?

She may genuinely not know herself what's wrong...have you considered seeing a sex therapist? You may also want to suggest she get her hormone levels checked. is there something in your life, a goal maybe, that she desires that is unmet? (such as having children...buying a house...etc)

Just get down to the nitty-gritty and start examining things that could be causing stress in her life....stress is a huge factor in sex drive especially for women because we're so tied in with our emotions when it comes to sex...a sex therapist really is a good idea if it's an option for you two since she doesn't know what's wrong if you two can't seem to get to the bottom of it on your own.

best of luck...she's lucky to have a husband who cares about her and not just about the diminished sex...i think that as a result you two will work it out with a little effort and be back to "normal" in no time :).