Aa
aghh, feeling down :(
This girl i liked, we met on new years and, just took things slow, only friends at this time, which is cool i wouldnt want to jump into anything soon.. Well now she wants nothing to do with me. I was talking to her on the phone and i tried to joke around with her (not meaning to cause any harm or whatever) and she accused me of making her feel stupid. Course i apologized, but it wasnt good enough. She said she dosen't want to talk to me anymore, called me a douche. Then i told her, "i got a better idea, instead of being a total drama queen, get a job and move out of your parents house for crying out loud.. Your almost 30 and still living at home?" Give me a break. Im 28 i have two jobs and i have my own place. I dont have time for people in that situation. Anyway, she cried when i told her that and hung up. Questions are....
1. I shouldnt feel so depressed considering we havent had a realionship or whatever, but i kinda am, how can i get over this? I know i can do a whole better, its just that this was the first time in 3 years that i met a girl that actually gave me a shot.
2. Why is it women are so sensitive? When i was jk around, again i didnt mean to cause harm, but in her mind, she thinks i tried to make her feel stupid. That was never my intent. I joke around with my female friends all the time and they don't object. What did i do wrong here??
1. I shouldnt feel so depressed considering we havent had a realionship or whatever, but i kinda am, how can i get over this? I know i can do a whole better, its just that this was the first time in 3 years that i met a girl that actually gave me a shot.
2. Why is it women are so sensitive? When i was jk around, again i didnt mean to cause harm, but in her mind, she thinks i tried to make her feel stupid. That was never my intent. I joke around with my female friends all the time and they don't object. What did i do wrong here??
Hey everyone im back. Its link aka shyguy. Something went wrong with my account so i had to make a new one. Anyway, wow alot to respond too,lol
RockRose- No i dont go after super model women.. I know they are totally out of my league. I been rejected alot by average women. Why cant i not go after a women who i find somewhat attracted too?
Mami- I talked to my friend today, who gives great advice on dating and he said something interesting, almost the same as you.. He said if u were to put a good looking guy infrot of alot of women to judge, the ladies would have mixed answers on if he's good looking or not, while viceversa if a good looking female was there, it be alot different. I guess its true.. Women are not as visual as men are. And, im starting to be convinced that it really is all how a guy acts.. Im starting to feel good about approaching a woman. Im tired of this shy, scared feeling.. I have learned a lesson with the last girl, dont joke around with someone you dont know,lol. Everyone here has been awsome.. I love this forum.. I guess there still is hope for me :)
RockRose- No i dont go after super model women.. I know they are totally out of my league. I been rejected alot by average women. Why cant i not go after a women who i find somewhat attracted too?
Mami- I talked to my friend today, who gives great advice on dating and he said something interesting, almost the same as you.. He said if u were to put a good looking guy infrot of alot of women to judge, the ladies would have mixed answers on if he's good looking or not, while viceversa if a good looking female was there, it be alot different. I guess its true.. Women are not as visual as men are. And, im starting to be convinced that it really is all how a guy acts.. Im starting to feel good about approaching a woman. Im tired of this shy, scared feeling.. I have learned a lesson with the last girl, dont joke around with someone you dont know,lol. Everyone here has been awsome.. I love this forum.. I guess there still is hope for me :)
Like jo said, we can't change your perception of women apparently but wasn't the last girl you met off of FaceBook? Don't you have your picture up there as well? If that's the case she still was in touch with you but then when she got to know you there was something she didn't like. So in my mind I think that she got a hit of your personality and if it’s anything like the way it's coming off here, than I can see why she would run the other way. Again, you're not a bad looking guy but you have such a sour attitude that I don't even like talking to you on here. I can only imagine how you come across to the women you are trying to talk to. And no, women don't like strippers. Sure they are fun to look at when you go for a bachelorette party but they are not the type of guy you really would want a long term relationship with. My first boyfriend was no looker, he was actually quite unattractive. My friends and I used to see him with his highschool girlfriend before me and we used to say, yikes, what does she see in him. Once I got to know him as a person and could see that he could make me laugh and we had similar interests and our personalities were very compatible, well I fell in love. My next relationship after him was with a gorgeous guy but we had nothing in common. I stayed with him for 2 1/2 years and don't know why. We had nothing to talk about, I just was attached. The next guy after him was a tall skinny guy with spikey hair. He wasn't that good looking, maybe average but he had me in stitches. He was a whacky guy with such a witty sense of humor. After him I dated this really good looking marine, but he was boring as all heck. My fiancé now is to me gorgeous but that’s not what I loved about him. What I loved about him was his sense of humor, his sarcasm and the way we just felt like we’ve known each other forever even after a week of meeting, the way he loved his family and the way they loved him and a million other reasons. But again, looks fade, there has to be more reasons for women to stay with their men other than looks, otherwise, we will be mighty disappointed when the wrinkles start appearing or the hair turns grey or even if it falls out. If you keep thinking the way you do, you will end up alone.
Another thought, go to Amazon.com and get "The Sensuous Man" by M. I think it's like 2 bucks, written in 1971.
Read it, and believe it.
Read it, and believe it.
Link, you're living in a false world. Women DON'T get turned on by male strippers, that's why strip clubs are for men, and the few lady's nights attract women in groups who are out to drink and play. They're not there night after night oggling nekked men. Playgirl is purchased almost exclusively by gay men, with a few women buying it as gag gifts for bachellorette parties. Women aren't turned on by male looks. Women actually spend a lot more time looking at beautiful women in magazines than good looking men.
And yes, you're average looking. That's a great thing.
I am curious as to why you keep hitting on really physically attractive women, though. No, you probably won't get anywhere with them.
Try to find an average looking, interesting, healthy woman. But first, drop your ideas of what women want, or you'll never be in the hunt.
And yes, you're average looking. That's a great thing.
I am curious as to why you keep hitting on really physically attractive women, though. No, you probably won't get anywhere with them.
Try to find an average looking, interesting, healthy woman. But first, drop your ideas of what women want, or you'll never be in the hunt.
they have singles meetings in most churches, also i do not think we can change your mind on anything, but i do know for a fact that you can meet women at the grocery store odd as it may seem go in smiling at all if you see one you like say nice day or do you know where so and so is look at the ring finger if no ring bump into her again, and then say something like well i cant cook well but i have to find something to fix if she is attracted she will keep talking and then ask politly if she might like to go out sometime or at least get a phone no what the heck every one loves a smile and a kind word and it is safe to say nice day or i hate the rain corny bit it works smile at the older women men just practice on people and get the chip off of you shoulder try going roller skating look around you but stay away from the internet not a good place to meet as old as i am when i go to the store i try to make someones day if i see someone older younger it makes no difference to me man or woman i will say the weather sure is nice today isnrt it, and smile and you will be surprised because you have made their day by just saying a word to them there are lots of lonely people out there all ages luck jo
like we've told you plentyoffish.com is NOT a good site to look for a relationship.
this preoccupation with your looks is a huge turnoff. there is nothing worse than a man who whines about what he looks like. i can't even stand hearing it from women.
not all women find strippers attractive either. personally i can not stand strippers. i think THEY are disgusting. my husband is an average guy. he's no model. but to ME he is the most attractive, sexy man. why? because i LOVE him.
you need to stop grouping all women into this little idea of yours of what we're ALL like. we're NOT all shallow, self centered, egotisitcal, gold diggers. not all of use want super model looking guys. not all of us care about how much money a man has. there are quite a few of us who care about their personality (which yours is shining through as a really lousy personality which is a HUGE TURNOFF), having conversations with men.
i mean god my husband doesn't even shave his face anymore...except once a month or whenever he meets with his gunny. do i care??? no. i don't. again...why don't i care???? because I LOVE HIM for who he is. do i care we haven't gone out as a couple in almost 7 months? no. why? because i love him and our children. i'm more than happy having a quite family night in than a romantic night out.
you REALLY need to work on this preconception of women. THIS is what is going to keep you from finding the right girl. any girl with a good head on her shoulders is going to see how you act and how you really think of women and run the opposite direction never looking back.
this preoccupation with your looks is a huge turnoff. there is nothing worse than a man who whines about what he looks like. i can't even stand hearing it from women.
not all women find strippers attractive either. personally i can not stand strippers. i think THEY are disgusting. my husband is an average guy. he's no model. but to ME he is the most attractive, sexy man. why? because i LOVE him.
you need to stop grouping all women into this little idea of yours of what we're ALL like. we're NOT all shallow, self centered, egotisitcal, gold diggers. not all of use want super model looking guys. not all of us care about how much money a man has. there are quite a few of us who care about their personality (which yours is shining through as a really lousy personality which is a HUGE TURNOFF), having conversations with men.
i mean god my husband doesn't even shave his face anymore...except once a month or whenever he meets with his gunny. do i care??? no. i don't. again...why don't i care???? because I LOVE HIM for who he is. do i care we haven't gone out as a couple in almost 7 months? no. why? because i love him and our children. i'm more than happy having a quite family night in than a romantic night out.
you REALLY need to work on this preconception of women. THIS is what is going to keep you from finding the right girl. any girl with a good head on her shoulders is going to see how you act and how you really think of women and run the opposite direction never looking back.
After what i gone through, been treated like crap by women, played etc.. Can you blame me?? Me not getting any messages on plentyoffish.com is solid proof of my theroy with women... Even a lady who is old enough to be my mom even said to me "you really need to watch it with the women these days, they can be really nasty" The last girl didnt care at all about me.. She cant even take a friggen joke... She was just another typical female seeking attention... Attractive women are to be avoided.. Total whack jobs, nasty and not very accepting people.. Don't belive me? Im living proof, i get zero messages on pof. But yet u all say its my attitude.. Im telling you, its my looks.. I know for a fact, if i was a super good looking guy, girls would be all over me, in fact, the last girl would still be talking to me despite the little joke i played. Im sorry but, the facts are, women are just as visual as men are. The whole confidence and personality thing is false. Why do you think women get turned on by male strippers?
We keep telling you that looks has nothing to do with it. There are guys who are models that just have the lamest personalities and/or are cocky and that's the hugest turnoff. You must think women are so shallow. Your negative perception of women and your low self esteem is probably the reason why you don't attract the right type of women. You need to work on positive thinking and your self confidence.
o gee, average thanks. Girls my age range want the all american good looking guys. That has to be a reason why i have not had sucess on pof
Link, have you ever heard of body dysmorphic disorder? Your preoccupation with your looks seems to border on pathological, and your perception isn't true. Whatever is causing you to have such lack of success with women isn't your looks. You look average.
Google that and see if it seems to fit.
Best wishes.
Google that and see if it seems to fit.
Best wishes.
Interesting. Do you know how i can get in touch with those organazations? Oh, another thing, and it might be a miracle. I've always had issues with my face being chubby, my friend who is a medschool student told me about facial flexing.. Anyone here used that? I think that'll be the key to me meeting women and having luck on POF
I use to work for a Catholic Parish in Chicago and they had speed dating for different age groups. 100 guys and 100 gals would get together in the church basement or hall ....it was huge and really nice. Pizza, beer and wine was orderedwith pizza (yes, beer and it was a predominantly German parish...great fun!!) and quite a few couples meet that way and we had 2 weddings as a result. Lot's of couples dated and it was a safe place to meet people and most were down to earth and some professionals, but it is very sucessful, All you do is contact different parishes or obtain their weekly mass bulletins (office or church) and see if they offer it. People just loved it and donated money for the pizza and beer and had a great time. Nice looking people too. Judy
alright, im to the point of enough is enough with plentyoffish Im confident that i have a good profile, but still zero luck. Who knows what gives.. Has anyone experinced speed dating? I think its kinda cheezy, but im up to try new things.
I didn't know churches have singles meetings? Do you know where i can get info for that?
your remark about us not not meaning what we said is definatlynot right we say what we mean whether it is good or bad have you been on the forum long you will find out we are not kind but truthful as we see it i guess its time to keep quiet girls give him heck LOL jo
The self confidence comes from within. It all starts with how you feel about yourself. For instance when I am having a good day, it shows. I show it by smiling at people and saying hello to strangers. A smile goes a LONG way and the smallest things can brighten someone else's day. Test yourself tomorrow and wherever you go, smile and say hello to every stranger you come in contact with and see what happens.
As for approaching girls, like penswriter said, just do it. You never know until you try! If they give the vibe of "no" don't let it get you down and try again with the next one. Don't be shy! All you need to watch out for is a wedding ring on her hand. If you don't see one, go for it. Once you start talking to her, pay her a nice compliment and if the conversation goes well, ask her for her number.
You can pretty much tell when a girl is into you by how she acts. If she's smiling and looking you directly in the eye when talking with you, you're probably in. If she's being short with you and turns her back, that's going to be a no.
As for approaching girls, like penswriter said, just do it. You never know until you try! If they give the vibe of "no" don't let it get you down and try again with the next one. Don't be shy! All you need to watch out for is a wedding ring on her hand. If you don't see one, go for it. Once you start talking to her, pay her a nice compliment and if the conversation goes well, ask her for her number.
You can pretty much tell when a girl is into you by how she acts. If she's smiling and looking you directly in the eye when talking with you, you're probably in. If she's being short with you and turns her back, that's going to be a no.
why do you not try meeting someone at church they have singles meetings. i really do not think meeting sight unseen is a good idea try to go bowling, there are lots of places to go, but do not get involved at the bars, oh by the way beauty is on the inside of a person and not on the outside, also when a women says something like this one did try biting your tounge, and say i am sorry if i hurt your feeling, and thenafter she gives you the tongue lashing just bite your tongue and say well i am sorry you feel that way have a good night try tack you get more flys with sugar than vinigar i used to have a sassy tongue, but as i grew older i tried tack, and it worked,. now as i am getting older and could be your granmother i feel like i am getting sassy again, not a good thing reminds me of my dear o;le mom who has long been gone she had a verysharp tongue all of her life, she went to the dr once and he was talling her what was wrong and he made the mistake of saying something about her age he said when you get old, and he should have used tack and said as we get older, anyway she said right quick well doc you are no spring chicken yourself also beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, i think you worry to much some day this lady will come by and she will be just right for you so hang in there penswriter gave good advice they have singles meeting a lot of places quit trying to change yourself into something you are not just be a little nicer with the combacks good luck jo
not second guessing yourself, not stuttering (saying um, uh, er, well, i guess, i suppose...those sorts of words), holding your head up, making eye contact, even smiling. smiling is a big thing. working out will be a confidence booster as well. being healthy is a good way to feel good about yourself.
try not to worry about approaching girls. just do it. what's the worst they'll do? say no.
try not to worry about approaching girls. just do it. what's the worst they'll do? say no.
I get the picture its mostly how a guy acts, but im still a little fuzzy on the confidence part.. How can i show a girl self confidence? What actions work? Well, my apartment complex does have a gym at the clubhouse.. And i really want to start exercising again.. I just wish i wasnt too afraid to approach girls! I dunno y i am
LOL! I looked at your pics and you are not unattractive at all. Yes, looks are the first thing everyone sees when meeting new people but looks won't keep someone around if the personalities don't mesh well together. I have dated all kinds of guys in the past and the majority of them won me over because of the way they treated me and how they acted. I dated a guy that was really overweight, something I am NOT attracted to, but after getting to know him I saw something in him that I hadn't initially and if I had only gone after looks. He was SO GOOD to me, made me feel like a queen and respected me as a person and adored my son. There isn't much more you can ask for!
If you don't like the way you look, do something to change it. Grow your hair out, cut if off, grow a goatee, beard, mustache, etc.. whatever you think looks best on you. Change your wardrobe if that would make you feel better about yourself. Start working out, running, cardio, whatever it is you are interested in. Self confidence is sooooo attractive, but NOT cockiness! I've always heard a good place to meet girls is the gym. There are some hot mamas that go there looking for men! that's probably the main reason why they go! LOL!!
If you don't like the way you look, do something to change it. Grow your hair out, cut if off, grow a goatee, beard, mustache, etc.. whatever you think looks best on you. Change your wardrobe if that would make you feel better about yourself. Start working out, running, cardio, whatever it is you are interested in. Self confidence is sooooo attractive, but NOT cockiness! I've always heard a good place to meet girls is the gym. There are some hot mamas that go there looking for men! that's probably the main reason why they go! LOL!!
Oh join the club! I've had bad experinces meeting people from the net myself.. I prefer not to meet people that way but, there really isnt any other option for me. My usual work hr's are mid-day. Most of my friends are in realionships, so i never go out anymore...I dunno, I guess women just arent attracted to me.. God gave me looks that drive women away
I was on that site a while back and I had nothing but nasty perverts trying to contact me constantly. I got so offended by the way people talked to me that I closed out my account and never looked back. And I wasn't even on there looking for "love" either, I just put up a profile thinking it was like myspace but I was wrong. I would highly suggest you try a different one or even something completely different that is not internet related. When I was single, I had a lot of bad experiences with meeting people off the internet. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but just beware that some people hide behind their computers and they aren't anything like what they claim to be. I do hope you find what you are looking for and wish you the best.
I get told this stuff all the time.That i look great, i have a good profile on plentyoffish.com, etc... But at the same time, i have zero luck on that site. I contact alot of women and get zero responses. So I dunno whats the issue here.. I doubt any of you meant what you said..That is why im going to talk to my DR about a weight loss pill... Women care as much about looks as men do.. Its a fact
i am not an expert on anything, but i have been in this ole world a long time, could it possibly be that you joke around because you are shy and do not know what to say so you hide behind these jokes,yes the pic look great just try to be yourself, and no it was not nice of her to call you names, but i really do not know what you said to her, so think before you speak or just smile that helps alot. luc jo
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