cheap men

[broke123]

i was just wondering... how does one deal with a bf/husband thats very cheap?

me n my bf r movin in together officially as of next month (even tho ive been livin at his place for the last 3-4 months). but now im giving up my own apt.

anyways, the "cheap" topic keeps coming up with us. if he buys me a pack of cigs he wants 5$ back. today he said that 8$ from mcdonalds.. is too expensive!!! i mean cummon!! 8$!!

he makes triple what i do.

i never ask for anythin, he never bought me anything (i got a card for my birthday). but im very independent, and just tell myself - i dont need his money, i have my own.

is this fixable? how can i get pass this? any advice?

thanx to all =)

[Mimsmom]

My ex was so selfish.. and cheap. But when it came to himself he splurrged. I asked him once to get his son a winter coat and he wouldn't do it. As a matter of fact he never bought our son anything. He was so cheap i just couldn't handle it.
My current relationship has other issues but he is not cheap, no matter how much of a jerk he is being. He always helps out even if he knows i had the money and spent it. He ******* about things at times but never says no. He is in between, he isn't wastefull and uses coupons. But on the other hand isn't cheap.

[Nora_abdullah85]

Hi im Nora from saudia Arabia , I have the same issue ..

I'm married to my husband for 4. Years now
And I hate him now because of his cheapness
Really it's a very bad attitude , u may hate him because of that.
In my culture. . Women don,t have to pay 50/50 even ithee make more than them.
In my situation my husband make 5 times more than me but until now he is a cheap.  offff I hate that and Im really thinking about getting devorce because I always feel bad about my husband  when I see all my friends or sisters with a generous husband .its too hard also if u have kids
So don't concerned  this relation for a long time u will be tired the whole intire ship .. Don think about getting married to him .. and if u do .. I wish god help u ..

[Paffy5]

I know this forum is very old, but I noticed that the comments are quite fresh, so I assume there are people who are looking for answers to this same problem, or to share their experiences.
I am from a foreign country and moved to marry my husband 2 years ago. I had a carreer, my work, but I also felt lonely with the perspective of being single for ever. I found my man, and decided to let go of everything to start a new life.
I admit in the beginning it was very hard, as I found out that he was indeed cheaper than I thought... For instance, the last piece of clothes he had bought for himself was 10 years ago!!! And he wanted to buy us silver wedding bands!!! Anyway, it's been 2 years and I still have to make a huge, huge effort if I want us to make any progress in life... I thought somehow that after I got married I would live a life where I could take care of my family, organizing things, but I now know that I do need lots of efforts to do so. God help me, give me wisdom and strength, and hope. I do love him very much. I just need lots of patience.

[aaleyah644]

omg my bf is the same dam way, its so annoying!!! when he didnt have a job, i would give him money for what ever he needed, like $50 or most of the time give him my whole check... now that i dont have a job, and he does, he wont give me a dime.. i ask for a box of smokes, and he refuses unless i get the cheap *** $1 pack of cigars -_- i ask to buy me a new phone since he's broken 5 of them and now been stuck with nothing and refuses, i ask for a pizza and refuses... Then wen i get money somehow, he raides my wallet and takes my $5 while he has a wallet full.. He'd rather spend his money on alcohol for him n his "friends" then buy me anything at all....

[cuguu]

I need your thought about my situation. I have been seeing this guy for three months now. He is very cheap.He has never taken me out on a date. He is in debt and is trying to pay off debts. But I kind of feel if a guy really liked a woman he can take them to even McDonalds for lunch. When he visits me, he makes me pay for pizza if we order one arguing that i should by because he spent money on gas to drive 45 minutes drive to come and see me. For two months he said we were just friends and its not until last month that he actually said we were dating. I think he kept saying we were not dating because he did not want to take me out.

[specialmom]

Okay, duh. It would help if I read the date on the orginal post which is old!  LOL  Cher posted at the end----------  and I always encourage someone to start their own post to get more responses.  

But cher-------- I'm sorry it is like this.  Are you married?  I think this is key.  When a man accepts their partner as part of themselves---------  they are more likely to spend money on/for/with them.  If you just live together----------- he very well may see money as his verses yours.  This is never good in a relationship.  Unity makes better sense to be connected.  

I learned a lot from my husband.  I don't need everything I want and while I do splurge on myself, I keep myself in check.  It is actually a good thing because as stated above, I like to spend.  This is different than being hungry and someone won't buy you a hamburger.  That is extreme.  And that is someone that doesn't see that if their partner is hungry, you should want to make that better.  

Overall, you've been together a long time.  Nothing has changed---------  will it ever?  Not if you two remain seperate entitities.  And now the question is, would you really like to marry someone after 10 years of this?  Is starting over an option for you?  I'd consider it.  

Good luck.