My boyfriend is really cheap and it really bothers me

[diul12]

Hi,

I am very confused and bother now.
Advice would be appreciated.
Me and my boyfriend had been together for almost two years.
His cheapness has recently gone to a degree I can't stand it.

When we go to CVS he bought three dollars of candy and I bought 2 dollar tampon he would freak out in the car and tell me to pay for the 2 dollars.
When we go to the supermarket he splits the bills too.
He makes three time I do.
But I know he spends a lot for himself, recently he bought the Kinnect and also he is changing the TV to 37 inches.
Last year when the HP touch pad was on sale he planed to buy two and I thought he changed but he said I need to pay him back 20 dollars for five months.
I want to use the wireless and he want to charge me for 15 dollars.

But his philosophy is his money is his money my money is mine.
Why would he need to pay for a person who has hands and legs to earn her own living.

Please don't laugh at me and say I am stupid.
He was the first guy I have ever been with,so it was hard for me to leave him. But I feel broke inside my heart and felt uncherished, I see people say couples can be united in one and it always makes me sad.

[AnnieBrooke]

To agree with the others, he is not going to change.  

[Londres70]

Sounds like this situation is a "dealbreaker" for you.  Sounds like you value generousity in a relationship.  

Yes, he is entitled to do whatever he wants with his money; that's true, but asking someone, especially a gf of 2 years, to pay you back for every miniscule purchase....hmmm....in my opinion is a bit ridiculous.  Now, if you were asking him to pay for your car note, clothes, etc., then that's a different story.  He is making it perfectly "clear" that he doesn't want to support you in any way.  

You aren't always "financially needy" on him?  Are you?  What I mean is, you aren't always expecting him to pay for "this and that" because he makes more money than you?  

It is understandable that he is your "first" and it is difficult to leave, but you aren't going to change him by staying.  Sure you can continue to deal with this?  Doesn't sound like it.  

I had a bf somewhat like yours years ago.  The breaking point was when we went to a cafe for croissants and coffee and he wanted me to give him money for the small croissant and small coffee I ate and drank which was about $5.00 USD.  I thought....hmmm.....I have had enough of this.  I wasn't financially needy with my ex bf and we both made the same amount of money, but he had an issue with paying for anything in regards to me.  

That is the beauty of dating; you can back out when you know it isn't the right situation or the right person for you.  

[specialmom]

Well,  what do you think the reason for dating is?  That is a serious question because I see it as the time period in which we figure out who the other person in the relationship is, if they are compatible with us, if they make us feel good, if we generally get along------  and then you USE that information to decide if you should move to the next stage of a relationship or if you should make it a long term thing.  

I think that if a couple is not married or haven't made any arrangements about how to share finances if they live together, then he is within his right to expect you to pay your way.  He's saying that he does not want to support you.  Can you live with that?  Have you had any discussions about what his feelings are about this in the future?  Maybe he does not yet feel commited to you enough to think that he should help financially care for you??  But he definately isn't very generous.  And that could bother someone to the point of not wanting to be with them long term.

You have some thinking to do.  I can call him cheap. But that doesn't really help you.  You know he is.  So YOU have to decide if you want to live like that or find a more generous guy.  
There is a whole wide world of people out there and I don't think anyone should settle until they have 'most' of what they want in life with no major red flags being ignored.  good luck