feeling trapped

[confused112170]

i am in a women who is feeling trapped.my husband and i fight all the time and my kids r the topic,but the r not the problem he is...anyway. he has full controll of the money in  our house...we had a fight last week and he went down and pulled 11,000 that we had out of the bank and left me with nothing..he still here and even got to the point where at 11pm or 1am if he gets mad he will start fights n open front door and leave it open ...im sleeping on the couch so he does this to get me mad..i dont really care anymore.but im want to leave and get my own place but he wont give me a dime..ive finally started looking for a job but its hard to find any now adays...i cant stay with family cause he goes and causes such a seen there to where i just come back to have it all stop...and a lawyer wants 5000 just to start...what do i do .

[Judy246]

It's obvious that you are also a victim of abuse, which within time will result in domestic violence. He will hit you in a matter of time. You need to do whatever it takes to get out of that house, even if it mean having to put a peace bond or restraining order against him. Depending on the state you live in, he will not be able to come anywhere near you, your home, family, job, ect... 500 ft. As mami stated, "contact public assistance or domestic women's shelters" immediate. Also, Catholic Church parishes can provide information or assistance (all the pastor). It's time to tell your family what is going on, that way they can take you in and not permit him in the house. Don't worry about money right now, get your family or friends to step in and help you get out and then you can calmly  and at the right time, file for a divoce and he will have to give you half of everything he has taken, including splitting the house. Good luck

[mami1323]

You can contact public assistance or domestic women's shelters and perhaps they can get you some information on free legal assistance and also help you get low income housing and some food stamps.  This way you don't have to stay in an abusive situation.  You can also go after him for alimony and child support.  

[megochick101]

Do you have any access to the accounts at all? If you have joint accounts and your name is one the account you can go to the bank and get whatever money you need. When he is at work, pack up your clothes, kids stuff and whatever you think you will need and then go to the bank take whatever money is either left or whatever you think you'll need and go to a woman's shelter in your area. Do not tell him where you are. The woman's shelter should be able to help you find either a pro bono lawyer or a lawyer who will only get paid if you get paid through a divorce.

If you do not have a car, call the woman's shelter and they may be able to pick you up, or have family pick you up and take you to the shelter, or if need be call a cab and have them take you to the bank and then the shelter. If he took all the money out of the bank account, you may need to ask family for some help. But since he has caused trouble with your family before when you stayed there, I would advise against staying with family, just go to the shelter. And do NOT call him, agree to meet him or anything without a lawyer, or another person present. Get legal on his a$$. But seriously if your name is on the bank account then you have FULL access to that money. You shouldn't need the account number, but if you do it will be on old statements if you can find one.

Oh and if your name isn't on the account.. If you have the account number, info for your husband(such as birth certificate/social security number etc) they may still let you take money out, if you are acting on your husbands behalf.

[jo929]

5000 is unreasonable if you have finacual problems they habe free laywers  luck  jo
if you stay as soon as you can beat him to the bank

[heatherlynn22]

if he causes a scene where you are...call the cops. get a restraining order or a pfa. if he violates those he goes to jail. and 91004 is right you can find lawyers who are cheaper, pro bono or will take payments.

[91004]

5000 are you serious have you called around to find other lawyers who might be cheaper. Can you stay with family and not tell him where you are until you can get a job there is not much you can do. Do you attend church if so maybe they can help financially till you can get settled. What did he do with the money he took out of the account? Does he just yell or does he hit you. How old are the kids. Or maybe going to Human Services and seeing if they may be able to help. Why do you sleep on the couch, put him on the couch. Don't let him run you over, you need to show him it is your house to and your not leaving turn the tables make him miserble like he has made you. Also call the courts to see what to do about custody. Do your homework on all this before you do anything.