I'm so tired of the drama

[jewels94]

I'm sorry I'm just so angry and needed to let this out I have no one to talk to right now..

Ok so i broke it off with the father of the baby almost 2 months ago because he got possessive and controlling like scary status. I couldn't even have a conversation with my mother with out him demanding to know what it was about. Anyway before I broke it off with him everytime we would have an argument he would rum to his friend (who is a chick, who likes/liked him) and complain and confide in her and talk to her about me. Like no i didn't run to any of my guy friends and complain about you that's wrong. I would talk to my mom out my best friend, but not a guy. And that got me angry. And then I've helped this girl out allot helped her when she was in a ****** abusive relationship. I've lent her clothes (my favorite red shirt that always made me feel good when wearing it), made sure she would always have a place to stay if it was needed ect.

Any way after him and i broke up he went and hooked up with her. And you know what more power to them. Like it hurt and it sucked but what did i expect? any way she has kept my favorite red shirt. I told her i wanted it back or she could pay me the money it cost. Simple right? Completely ignored me. Changed her number. Blocked me on Facebook ect.

Well today she shows up at my house and was like " here's your shirt. I didn't have time for you until now" and i said ok and she said "you ok? Are you sure your ok. You don't look like your ok. What's wrong Julie." In this tone like she was egging me on and passing me off. And then she was looking at my belly and scoffed "hope everything works out" and she said it is this evil tone like she meant the exact opposite. And she was being so damn rude and disrespectful. After all that **** i did for her. Ugh I'm so angry i just want to cry... I'm so done with all of the bull that him and all of his friends and family are putting me through i don't ever want to see any of them again...sorry for the rant.. I'm so tired of the drama... What would you guys do? Please i need some srorry of advice..

[jewels94]

Thank you so much it really helped being able to talk to someone about this, it's been driving me crazy thinking about it and holding it all in..thank you again

[specialmom]

Well, that is a tricky one.  If this guy has parents that are interested---  that could be a lovely thing for your child.  Once I had kids, I found that I longed for people to love them as I did.  I mean, no one loves them like me, but grandparents are close!  Ya know?  Someone that is thrilled to see him or her, will be there for them, etc. is really a great thing!  And nice for you to occasionally get a break.  You may think I'm nuts for saying that now but after two boys really close together in age, there are times where you absolutely need a bit of a break and it is great when it is a loving grandparent that takes them and has fun with them!  

But on the other hand, it could also complicate things.  I do get that.  But, I'd just let them be a part if they would like to be as ultimately, that could be a great thing for all.

As to the guy, if he wants to see his baby on the day he/she is born, let him.  But I don't think he or his family need to be in the delivery room with you.  That's personal.  You are not together with him now----  so, he can wait in the waiting room and see the baby in the nursery.  

I'm guessing he'll have fleeting interest to be honest (as in not much at all).  But if he has a mother, she may really want to be in the baby's life.  I know I would!!  

good luck

[jewels94]

I plan on keeping the baby. I'm already madly in love with him or her and they have already changed my life. I'm currently working but they have me on bed rest, and I'm will be graduating college in the next few months :)

And when i asked what you would do is would you even give him and his family the option of being there? Or just leave it alone? I don't want my baby to think  keeping them from him or her. But i also am not going to tell him or her what they put me through because if they are apart of his or her life i don't want them to think I'm talking bad or putting them in a negative light ..you know? I never thought about retaliating against her nor him. Personally I'd love for them to all leave me alone but then again that would just be to easy..

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Sorry you are in this situation.  When you ask what we would do, what are you talking about?  Doesn't sound like you have any choices.  You and he are no longer and the girl pretty much other than wanting to drop the shirt off is also not really communicating with you.

If you are asking should you retaliate and do something or try to get back in touch with her, no.  Remember what the title of this post is?  Tired of the drama.  Don't contribute to it.

Focus on the situation at hand.  You're going to have a baby and you didn't mention your plans.  Are you keeping the baby?  I'm guessing you are very young.  Was wondering if adoption was something that had ever come up for you??  If not, then you need to really stay focused on what is about to happen.  This baby will be here before you know it and change your entire life.  In many good ways but you will also be completely consumed at all times with child care unless you are working or at school.  Do you have your child care lined up for those things (sounds like you are close to your mom and living with her which is great, hopefully she'll be helpful).  Never lose sight of becoming a financially and emotionally independent woman.  Make sure you go to college or job training/trade school so you can have a good career and be able to support yourself.  I can not stress the importance of this for a woman.  

Those are the things you need to wrap your head around and make sure you are making plans for and nonexistent baby daddies and ex friends really should not be important to you.  good luck