irresponsible father

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

So my baby is 3 months old and her father is extremely irresponsible it pisses me off he thinks it is okay to leave the baby in the house while he mows the yard or he will sleep while holding the baby on the couch I made a huge scene and told him if he ever does it again he will never hold the baby without my presence. I am so angry and he sees nothing wrong with sleeping while holding the baby!!! Or drinking while babysitting I seriously am just done explaining he's an idiot and putting his own child at risk. I'm wondering if it's just my idiot husband that's like that or are all dad's like that I really don't know? ?

[Mumofboys28]

I wouldn't be happy with him being drunk while baby sitting but I would mow the law while the baby is sleeping, I would just take the monitor outside and millions of parents including my husband have slepts with a new born on their vest on the couch, it sounds like he is trying and maybe you need to try to remember that this isent your baby and you set the rules, you have to give him a little bit of freedom to parent their children too, a baby is a bit adjustment and no one is the perfect parent, he is learning too

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

He means mow the yard while baby is in the bouncy chair without the monitor and no supervison. And how and why would you purposely fall asleep while holding the baby do you not know how many babies died

[proudmommytobe15]

I agree with the first post

[proudmommytobe15]

It sounds like you have ftm syndrome. As long as he's not a crazy rolling sleeper , your baby is fine. You can argue but I've slept with tons of babies on my chest on the couch. They're all living. It's like the luvs commercial with the first kid. Then by the second kid. Calm down. I do think the drinking part is terrible , but the other stuff isn't awful. Tell him to take a minute when he mows the grass or to do it she he doesn't have baby

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

I try to be understanding but I'd like my baby to make it past the infant stage while my husband figures out how this parent thing works

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

I just don't want to risk it like why take the chance you know?  

[proudmommytobe15]

Honestly the chance isn't very high.
I've never seen anyone kill a baby whole sleeping with them on the couch.

[sabbylopez]

I sleep with my baby every night and my husband does to im having my third child and both my two are still alive. The only time you shouldn't sleep with a child is when you are completely understand the influence. I agree with the ftm syndrome. Mowing the law yes that is idiotic but sleeping with baby? Sounds like you are easily angered and taking it out on little things.

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

I understand everyone has different views on parenting but I do not agree or think it is okay. I also know how my husband sleeps which is why i was so angry

[MSmith2012]

With mowing the lawn maybe just address he should have the monitor with him. Sleeping on the couch many people cos keep as long as he's not rolling I've on the baby or dropping baby then calm down.  The drinking, if he's just having a beer or two abs is still full able to take care of baby what's the problem. Now if he's getting drunk then there would be a problem.

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

I am not easily angered. Wow I expected MOMS to be more understanding I did not expect everyone to think being irresponsible or sleeping with baby is okay when there are so many possibilities of crushing the baby. And I have ONE baby not two not three and I am responsible for her if everyone wants to take the chance and sleep while on the couch with the baby or not watch the baby or drink with the baby okay yall. Not this mama

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

No one purposely rolls over or on the baby while asleep it just happens. Accidents happen

[sep19_2]

I dont think your your over reacting at all. I understand all your concerns andbi woildnt be pleased with my daughters fayer either of he did those things. He never leaves her unattended while she is awake or sleeping, god forbid something happens and he doesnt make it inside fast enough to get her. My daughters father also never has fallen asleep with the baby on him, he is to scared she might have rolled off. Some people are heavy sleepers and dont realize whats happening when theh are sleeping. She only has ever slept in her bed or bouncer or swing. But he is great at staying up for her. He doesnt drink so i dont have that problem either. My daughter is now 2 yrs old. And we are on baby number 2. Dont listen to others you have every right to be concerned just have a serious talk with him and let him know your fears.

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

I am scared to know what else all moms do or is okay then. Maybe I'm wrong and crazy and overly cautious but that's not going to change

[sep19_2]

Sorry for all the typos!! My phone is being crazy. Hope you understood though. Best of luck to you.

[LaurenC86]

I agree with you, I'm in parenting classes right now, and took them with my first as well and they stress more than anything to NOT sleep with baby. I'm in other programs as well that stress this as well. Its one thing if it's an accident for a few minutes to doze but to intentionally sleep with baby is very unsafe and I've watched video after video on this matter in the classes I'm taking and seen the stories parents have told that thought it was safe or no big deal and ended up accidentally suffocating or dropping baby. So I personally would freak out about that too bc any parenting class you take stresses the importance of not doing this. And mowing the lawn without a monitor or any kind of supervision is completely irresponsible as well. If I was you I'd make him attend parenting classes that can teach him all this and until he does to nit leave him alone with baby. There are many places that offer free classes if you are in the US, just call your local health department and they can set you up with some.

[sep19_2]

And also my daughter was born premature and stayed in the hospital for a month before coming home. She weighed on 4 pounds when we took her home. So we were both very catious of our actions and what we did and did not do around her. But no matter even if we had a full term baby i would have still been very over protective and catious. But thats just us. Everyone is different and has different views on parenting.

[LaurenC86]

And definitely don't leave him alone with baby if he's gettin drunk, he needs to grow up and realize he's responsible for another life here. Good luck!!!

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

We took lots of parenting classes that's what upsets me :(

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

Thank you sep19_2 and LaurenC86

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

For understanding and the support I cannot believe some people can be so calm and careless about a little helpless infant it scares me

[LaurenC86]

Wow... that's surprises me that he would still do things.like that after taking the parenting classes. I don't think I would trust him alone with baby, and I know that's got to be really hard on you. Hang in there, hopefully things will get better. But until then I think I would just take him off unsupervised baby duty for awhile. And you're welcome, I totally get where you're coming from!! Better safe than sorry I say.  

[sep19_2]

Your welcome hun. I hope he changes for you and the baby and listens to you a little more. That must be Really hard to not trust the person you had a baby with to actually take care of her. Good thing she has a great over protective mama. Just keep getting on him about it and hopefully something will stick.

[sep19_2]

And yes some people have a really laid back type of parenting. But when something happens to the baby, it will be a wake up call for them. Its better safe than sorry i always say. Theres just no need to take that chance with the health and safety or your children.