leaving your husband

[chssurfgirl]

I have been married for three years, no kids, nothing owned together, etc. I am not in love with my husband anymore. I think we have just grown up and apart. He comes from a family that has taught him to make things work no matter what, which is great, but I dont think its going to work for us. I am in a relationship with someone else who is aware of my current situation. We live in SC and the divorce laws are sticky here. I am not sure how much a divorce will cost me or how I will deal with life being "single." The guy I am in a relationship with is in the army. It just gets more and more complicated. I am not sure what to do. I want to leave my husband to be with my boyfriend, but I am unsure of the unknown of what will happen once I tell my husband. I dont think I can tell him Im cheating on him bc my BF is in the army. Not sure how that works. Please help!

[chssurfgirl]

I really apprecitae yall's advice. thank you for your honesty.

[penswriter]

you want to leave a marriage to be in another relationship??? and HOW can you grow apart in 3 years? I've been married to my dh for almost 2 (we've been together for over 5) and I love him more and more everyday.

do your husband the favor and divorce him before there are kids involved. let him move on and find a woman who will appreciate and love him.

[PromisedLand]

I cast my vote with the other folks...red lights all around

[VicUser]

I agree with specialmom and mami, besides you are putting your now BF's career in the Amry at risk. If you really care for him you will break it off until for finish with your current husband.

[mami1323]

You grew apart after only 3 years? I am not understanding why you got married in the first place. Specialmom is right cheating is not the answer. Leaving one first and then pursuing another only after your first is over is how its supposed to work. There isn't much more advice that I can give you because specialmom pretty much gave you the best advice.

[specialmom]

Let me just say this.  It is okay to leave a relationship.  It is not wise to start a new relationship before leaving.  Here is the problem (besides the moral issues which are huge)--------  your new guy knows you are a cheater.  He will never fully trust you.  Also, moving from one relationship to the next as you seem to want to do is statistically relationship suicide.  You would be shocked at their failure rate . . . or maybe that doesn't matter to you.  I don't know.  But I wouldn't want to have multiple failed relationships if I could help it.  

You should break it off with your boyfriend.  Decide with your husband (and it is pretty hard to work on a marriage when you have a boyfriend) if things are salvagable.  If not, divorce officially.  Spend some time alone.  Do some soul searching.  Get yourself a little counseling so you don't repeat patterns.  Bolster your own life up so you don't have to be with a man to be happy.  Then meet someone who has no strings attached.  That would be best case scenario for you.  good luck