Advice

[lovemykids465]

Hey guys need a bit of advice here. Many of you know my situation. Well I received a phone call yesterday from my ex boyfriend from high school (20 something years ago) father ( I am still close with his family, my husband is too, and both the boys moved back to NYC, 7 hours away, so my husband and I are like family to them) any way his wife has had breast cancer for years and now has cancer of the esophagus and the docs do not give her much time. Yesterday on my lunch break I went over to visit her. Apparently she called her son and told him I had come. The whole time I was there she just talked trash about his wife. Well if you remember my situation, my husband had an emotional affair this summer with  a coworker, and I almost did with my ex but told my husband and cut it off. But did not find out about his till a few months later, any way, so Dan contacts me again yesterday just talking to me about his mom and dad, his marriage. I do not know what to do. I am kinda stuck. I do not want my husband to even be around this other woman but he can not help it because they work together. They do not speak at all ( he tells me and I have to believe him) unless they have to for work. I told my husband that Dan contacted me again. He did not say much but really did not seem to happy, yet he says we will probably have to deal with him through this whole ordeal.  Yet I forbid my husband to talk to this other woman unless absolutely necessary. What do I do.

[lovemykids465]

Thanks ladies. Dan messaged me again but this time not about his mom. I did not tell Joe and I think I need to block him and just deal with his family and not him. He pretty much started the same ol crap. Talking about how bad his marriage is that is what got me sucked in last time.Trying to help out/ not knowing mine was in the same condition.

[Judy246]

p.s. if you continue to bring up Dan to your husband, he might approach him and all drama might cause a set back in your marriage...proceed with caution!

[Judy246]

I always agree with mami :) Keep Dan at a distance, because I smell trouble and as for your husband, just keep reminding him that while he and this coworker work under the same roof or company, you will be on to his every move. Keep him on his toes and don't let the guard down. Let him earn your trust and make sure it never happens again. Judy

[lovemykids465]

I agree. I would  not want Joe in this situation.

[mami1323]

I wouldn't get to involved with Dan if you can help it. I would simply talk with either his father or the father's wife and if you have to talk with Dan try to keep it about the situation. He has his wife that he can lean on for emotional support, he shouldn't need to turn to you. Plus you are setting yourself up to possibly spark feelings again given what happened in the past. If Dan needs a shoulder to cry on or feels the need to discuss his marital problems he should seek out a therapist. Your trying to heal your marriage right now, you don't need any added obstacles.