My boyfriend had sex with my friend I did forgive him but is he cheating again?

[brook_lyn]

I posted a post a few weeks ago about my boyfriend having sex with my friend in the backseat of his car. I did forgive him because i knew their was no feeling involved. He doesn't even talk to her anymore. Now i think i regret that. I got a few reasons why i think hes cheating on me.

1) I caught him on a dating website called plenty of fish. He says its an old one but i know it wasn't more than 3moths old. So its not that old. We were looking at apartaments toghter on his phone and when he clicked onto the internet plenty of fish came up he obviously forgot he last loged onto there.

2) On his facebook he had an album of us, his relationship status said hes in a realtionship with me, i wrote on his wall a few times and yesterday when i went to check his facebook it was all gone. The album was deleted, the relationship status is now hiden, all my wall posts are gone. No one can even write on his wall now.  
I know its just facebook and many of you are prob thinking who cares its just facebook & i would agree with that iff he never had pictures of us up or always had his relationship status hidden, but when over a sudden its all gone that makes me wonder, why?  Why did he take the time to delete everything? Last year he did the same exact thing on facebook and that was because he was with some other for about 3 weeks and then she broke it off. I think bc she found out about me. I'm the fool for giving him . I konw that.

I have mentioned these things to him and hes says i'm going crazy & im to possosive over him! Now he won't even talk to me. It hurts because its hard being with someone for almost 2 years and having it all gone. Its hard to move on

I really need all of your opion on this. Am i going crazy or are the signs really there

[specialmom]

Yes, it is definately much easier said than done and we are not you living the situation.  It always hurts to realize someone isn't who we thought they were and ending a relationship with someone we loved.  While I haven't been in your situation exactly, I do know what it feels like to have a broken heart.  

Be kind to yourself.  Picture if it was someone you love dearly being treated this way and how you'd respond to protect them.  Well, love yourself that much.  Get a journal and write your thoughts out.  Keep busy.  Exercise (helps our mind and spirit . . . and mental health).  Remember, you have your whole life ahead of you . . . and the future is bright.  You can have everything you've ever longed for . . . including a man who is faithful.  Best wishes, good luck and peace to you.

[brook_lyn]

Thank you all for your advice. Your all right! i couldn't agree more but its hard when its happening to you. Easier said than done but i am deff moving on.

I will keep posted

thank you =)

[AnnieBrooke]

I was one of the ones who said that you should just get the heck out of there and count yourself lucky, the first time.  He, to put it politely, does not sound like he is improving.

If you want to check the Facebook page theory (that he has blocked just you, or you and people close to you), you could test it by telling someone on here (by private message) his Facebook info, and let them read what he has on there.  If he has blocked just you, it will all be up for someone else that he doesn't know.  I'd volunteer, but I don't have a Facebook account.

In any case, as I said before, he did not act like he was going to change, last time you caught him.  He just acted caught.  You say you felt like you didn't want to let go because you had two years invested -- my sister was in a marriage where they hadn't slept together in something like 12 years, but they didn't want to let go because they had been together for 12 years.  Finally, she shook herself out of it and decided that unless she wanted to be in a no-sex marriage for 20 years, she had better do something.  Same advice to you.  Two years is too bad, but it's worse to let it be three.

Take care, sweetheart.  You're not the first woman to be lied to by a man.  Heal up, move on, and have some fun.

[lovemykids465]

Drop him now before things get worse! Why put yourself through this?

[specialmom]

Painful.  You tried to get past that awful incident of infidelity.  His excuses were lame then and now . . . well, he says you are crazy for trying to understand where his head is at.  This is not a man I'd spend any more time with.  He's shown his true colors in more ways than one now and you deserve better.  I know it hurts.  Having our faith and trust in someone shattered is painful.  Don't give him any more chances to hurt you.  Good luck

[imanaddict]

Everyone was right about the first incident. And here I was wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt the first time. Honey you better RUN like there's no tomorrow. Facebook is always a dead giveaway if the person is stupid enough to use it. There are settings on there where you can pick and choose who you want to see what on your profile. Like I can choose to have my husband see my wall, but not certain friends, etc. I am willing to bet you are the only one not able to see his wall while others can because that would totally give him away that he isn't really single. He is acting like he is, so it's time to give him what he wants. You deserve so much better!!!!!

[Psamathos]

I totally agree with kay2486. I think since the last "incident" your trust is gone (not without reason). Whether he's cheating on you or not on this point doesn't really matter since you need to be able to trust the person that you're with. If you can't, you got to move on.

good luck

[kay2486]

i wouldnt have forgiven him after the first time,

you will never be able to trust this guy again will you?

trust is the most important thing in a relationship everyone needs trust or theres no point.

he can't be happy if hes looking elsewhere on dating website, im just being truthful, dont let him use you til hes moved on.

[mami1323]

I think it's time to move on.  The last incident really was icing on the cake in my opinion.  Perhaps it could've been worked through if he was walking the straight and narrow.  If someone breaks someone else's trust it's important to have full transparency to rebuild it.  He's not doing that and he's hiding a lot of things that would make me question his sincerity and his efforts to make this relationship last.  It seems like he wants to do what he wants to do and know that you will just deal with him the way he is.  But I don't think you will be happy doing that.  There really isn't much of a relationship here if he's looking elsewhere.  I'm sorry, I know you must be hurting but you will continue to hurt if you stay.  Good luck.

[Ashelen]

I know it's hard but I really really think you should move on..aside from the drunken cheating incident, he obviously is doing some pretty suspicious things....but here's my problem. he says you're being crazy and posessive...really???? shortly after he CHEATED ON YOU??? you're allowed to be crazy and posessive for at least a few freaking weeks after the person you love and trust CHEATS on you and BETRAYS your trust....so I think it's awfully ballsy of him to expect you to be totally over the cheating already.

At this point you either have to just trust that he's not cheating and let go of everything, including the suspicious behavior...or leave...he's obviously not helping you to heal from his mistake and he's not working to be open and honest to prove he's not cheating...and if he truly wanted to make it work, he would be doing whatever it took to show you what he's doing and who he's with so you can learn to trust him again. I really think you need to move on hon...you're a brave woman to have tried to forgive him, but sometimes there's just no saving something that's broken.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.