Let it go or not?

[1mommabear2]

Ok so this is my situation, I'm a divorced mother of two kids ages 9 and 4.  I'm in a relationship with a man that doesn't have any kids, not that he was against having any but he just never did. So anyway the other night my 4 year old wasn't feeling good and wanted to sleep in bed with me, but my boyfriend was staying over that night. I told my boyfriend that "tommy" wanted to sleep in bed with me and my boyfriend said absolutely not! He said that "tommy" will be fine sleeping in his own room and that when he sleeps with us it's to crowded and he can't get any sleep! My first thought was really? I have a king size bed! So anyway after many tears I made "tommy" sleep in his own room, I just feel kinda pissed. I think it's not really his place to tell me that my son can't sleep with me, I just want to know what advice anyone else has? Should I mention that I think that was bs or let it go?

[Chima7]

I don't have any kids and even I know the importance of a mother being able to comfort her sick child! Maybe it's because I'm a woman and men lack the kind of sympathy/empathy that comes naturally to women but he acted like a complete jerk. And if I were you I would call him out on it. I would tell him straight up that my kids are #1 and will be until the end of time so he'd better get used to it or else there's the door. And I don't even like kids but I would never presume to tell a parent that they aren't allowed to help their kid in the middle of the night when they are sick and most likely scared! That's just rude and wrong and your bf should be shoved on the floor or pushed to the couch. If it happens again, he gets the couch, or else he can leave, period.

[specialmom]

Well, you sound like a good mama!  good luck

[1mommabear2]

Thank you both for the comments, I guess I kind of knew that it was a jerk move on his part! He really is a good guy, both my kids have a really bad cold and have been feeling sick for almost a week and he has really helped me out a lot by watching them this last weekend while I was at work, and picking up medicine for them at the pharmacy, etc. so by no means am I trying to label him as a complete ***. I just don't think he understands the importance of comforting a sick child because he doesn't have any children! Anyways I will definitely address the issue because I cannot go forward with a relationship with him if he thinks this is how it's gonna be! Thank you again!

[specialmom]

I think I'd have sent boyfriend home.  Absolutely, tommy takes priority.  I can't imagine having to ask a boyfriend if my child could stay in my room when they are ill.  

This wouldn't work for me.  I'd absolutely mention to him that this WAS bs and that you will not allow that to happen again.  If your son needs you and part of that is comforting him at night, he'll have to understand or leave for the night.  

So, I understand how you feel and think your gut feeling is dead on about this.  good luck

[TTinKKerBBell]

BoyFriend wasn't feeling bad, HE could have slept in Tommie's bed,

and You could have taken care of Your little 4year old who wasn't feeling good.

These are YOUR Children - BoyFriend is the outsider coming in.  You are making a big mistake if You 'allow' Your BoyFriend to make decisions that You object to regarding YOUR Children.

Your Children - #1
BoyFriend      - #2