I agree with all others that You remain in school.
I'm struck by Your articulation as You tell Your story. You are intelligent and well versed but You do need formal education and maturity to have better opportunity for YourSelf and Your Children.
You are mistaken to think Your kids are "fine". They are internalizing things that are not occuring to You to realize - and these things will have profound effects on their esteem. This I know is true. I have no doubt that You love Your Children but I say to You: Beware and be A W A R E that the turmoil we live are what Our Children live too. They are very young and They do not know how to interpret all that they see and hear but it is often reflected in Their behaviors as They get older.
You were just a kid YourSelf while You promiscuously lived on the streets. Where did that come from if not from Your own esteem issues? Believe me, what we do - or don't do, affects our Children. They see; They listen to what goes on around Them and They're taking it A L L in, before they even have all Their brain cells yet; L O N G before their little minds can assimilate what they "learn".
Your Mother was a stripper, You were a stripper, You lived on the streets and was promiscuous and I'm sure You don't want that for Your Own Children. I agree with the others that You focus on School and a better life for YourSelf and Your Children.
GoodLuck
my mom kicked me out because I had an attitude problem at 16 and my dad let me do whatever wanted and made me learn things the hard way.. no one ever told me about life my mom has been abused by my real dad and my dad is an alcoholic .. I learned things from people I was around in the streets... I have came from all of that its been a year since all of the recklessness that was happening, I have understanding of the wrong iv done and will never do it again, botth of my kids live with me with this man and have been for a year now but it just has come to a little difficulty in weather I want to continue this life with him.. because I do feel I can live without anyone and just my kids now. Hes optional in my life but I don't know if he should be an option I do need better communication. maybe that's what we need to work on. But yes my kids are fine and have always been fine living with nobody but family and his family my oldest was always safe and she acts like nothing ever happened. but we have been in a stable place all together for a year. and I love my kids I have always loved them it was hard for me to get a job because I have a record from my younger days.. so I turned to the stripping, my mom was a stripper when she had us and she went to school as well.. im not saying I tried to follow in her footsteps because I will never kick my kids out and give up on them but if it wasn't for my record I would have tried even harder to get a job. but now after I get my certificate I already have a job lined up at my friends mothers company so my future is set. yahll have great feed back im glad I herd this feedback when I was going threw the bad things it helped me think things through and get a better life for me and my kids.
Newmom, I wonder who taught you that you aren't worth more than this. You are treating yourself like a prostitute, actually, so it's kind of no wonder this guy who offered to buy you a ring (but still hasn't) when you met him in a mall also treats you negatively.
I don't know what kind of school you're in and who takes care of your baby while you do it, but I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters that you need to focus on school, your babies, and yourself in that order and stop moving around from apartment to apartment to apartment with different families and men who are not respecting you.
Your life is just a mess right now - prayers that you can forge through this and start respecting yourself.
I couldn't agree more with the above replies.
You have two children to make a priority. You're still very young and can make your life into anything you want it to be. Stay in school, make a GOOD life for you and your kids.
Sounds like you need to skip the dating scene for a while, and just learn how to be okay with YOU. And I agree about your promiscuity, that will take its toll on you. You're putting yourself at risk for STDs, and obviously, unplanned pregnancies. Please respect yourself enough to not have sex with people you've just met, and don't use sex as a way to make money or try to keep a man in your life.
I would also recommend some therapy to explore why you've been so accepting of these kinds of life situations. It sounds like you had options, but you chose the streets. I think it may help you to explore that with a professional.
Best of luck to you!
Men should be the very last thing on your priority list right now. The trust thing between you and ring guy goes both ways. You have both displayed 20 kinds of shady..
You are in school, That is GREAT!! An education is one thing you and your kids can fall back on. You are so young.. Believe it or not all of the sexual liaisons are going to take their toll on you... You still have a chance to do something great! Especially in Texas where their is tons of support for single moms.
Sorry, I hit post before I was done.
This is really hard. I hope you take birth control pills now--- always. I think I'd worry less about who you can date/live with than getting this schooling done and a good job in which you earn an income. No, not stripping or web site sex or sex with wealthy old rich men. A regular job where you can hold your head up high and not depend on Anyone ever again.
You've made children with this man . . . not one but two. If you want a relationship with him, you have to get past all this back and forth stuff. That it always feels like it can be over tomorrow---- that's a problem. Don't you think your kids will feel that eventually? Remember, they need stability. So, figure this stuff out. Decide if you are going to be with him to let things go that you routinely fight over if they aren't him actually cheating or abusing you . . . and communicate better. I've been married many years. it's not always easy having a long term relationship but trying to respect your partner at all times, learning to trust, having good communication, affection for one another, a bond really is what a relationship needs to last. WORK on those things if you want to stay with the dad.
But either way, get to point in which you don't HAVE to be with anyone. That you can support yourself and have a roof over your head irregardless of the other people in your life. This is really key. You're still young at 22. Make this education you are getting the priority right behind making sure your kids are safe and cared for. There are loans, etc. and just do whatever necessary to get that done so you can improve your life.
Very hard road you've taken with 2 kids along for the ride. I feel for you. my very best wishes that all turns out well for you.
Oh my goodness. The shining star in your story is that you are in school. That is what you need to be doing. You've had a heck of a lot of people basically taking care of you. At 18, you were still a kid but an adult and as you know, you made some really horrible decisions. I know you were young and maybe desperate but what your children need the most is a stable home. Does the first child live with you or does your aunt care for him or her? What about the second baby? I worry about these kids in this back and forth, unstable environment with it all about 'the guy' and not all about a stable home for them.