Aa
Do i have something or am i just paranoid?
Hello,
Please bear with me as I talk about this story. Summer of 2021 in June I met a girl even though I'm married and have a wife. I thought this girl was great and she was married as well had kids and seemed to understand my situation in the home. She always used to post things about "the come back is always greater than the set back" on her snapchat feeds. I also noticed that she immediately after 2 weeks told me she loved me. I knew full and well that this was not true at all. I played along. She always seemed overly sexual and she went down on me a few times but I never performed any oral sex on her. I did not even want to have sex with her but she mildly assaulted me in the car one time by straddling me and putting me inside her without a condom on. I was in there for about 2 minutes and I kept telling her to get off. I didnt throw her off because I didn't want to hurt her. She eventually stopped after 2 minutes after I shook her and told her to stop. This was at the end of July. This was also the first time we had sex. Then she started acting weird, and started threatening me in the coming months regarding telling my wife about us and I told her that its over because she's crazy and her behavior is unwarranted. Whenever I asked her if she was clean, she always said she was clean and never had an STD in her life. She also started getting mad when I told her i'd get checked and show her if she could do the same for me. She said I was weird to ask her that. Then on october 21st, I had sex with her in the car again unprotected for literally 2 minutes but I was so guilty that I stopped. I did ejaculate very little but outside of her. I asked her again if she was clean and she lost it. Started threatening me again. A month later of her texting me regardless of me telling her to stop, she tells me she is pregnant. That its mine, and that its twins. I knew it was a lie, and that she went to planned parenthood to get the baby aborted. Long story short, last thing she said to me was "i'm going to be a nightmare to you".
My symptoms are as follows. Right after our encounter in october, I got so paranoid based off of her reaction, My genitals, balls, kept stinging. They were achy. I was itching my butt area, but more so than the itching, it was like my anus was aching. I went to the doctor on oct 25th and he did chlamydia, gon, hiv tests and it was all negative. urinalysis was negative. About a month and a half later I got tested for all hepatitis. It was all negative. I also got another HIV test in november, one in december, one in january and one in february. They were all negative. The symptoms went away, my doc said I had nothing. Then one day I noticed a small piece of string looking fleshy thing in my groin. It was sent to the lab in january 11th and pathology report came back as "suggestive of condyloma". I was depressed. This was HPV. Then I went to a dermatologist who looked at the genital area, I had no other "warts" nothing there, and he said "you have nothing, your problem is in your head not your body". He sent the pathology slide to a dermatopathologist, who looked at it with 2 other pathologists, who all said it was just a SKIN TAG, and ammended the report. So now I dont have HPV.
At the end of January 31st, I got a cystoscopy done, and the urologist saw nothing of concern because I told him HPV and herpes was my concern. I got an IGG test done in january as well, I was positive for HSV-1 and negative for HSV-2.
After this I have never been the same. I noticed a small purplish red dot on my scrotum, which the physicians said is a blood vessel. But in my mind, I never saw that before. I sometimes still get an achy feeling at the base. I've never had any breakouts, any lesions nothing. Now I get scared about every little thing. I saw black dots on my thumb, and every doctor i've show says its nothing, but in my mind its like, "i never had these before so why now". Im truly terrified. my left thumb is burning on and off, my feet sometimes gets a pin like pain, my left index finger gets a pin like pain too but theres nothing there. I do not know what is wrong with me and what more I can get tested for.
Someone please help me. Point me in the right direction. I'm literally watching myself deteriorate. I don't even touch my child because i'm scared to give her something. I have lost all quality of life.
Please bear with me as I talk about this story. Summer of 2021 in June I met a girl even though I'm married and have a wife. I thought this girl was great and she was married as well had kids and seemed to understand my situation in the home. She always used to post things about "the come back is always greater than the set back" on her snapchat feeds. I also noticed that she immediately after 2 weeks told me she loved me. I knew full and well that this was not true at all. I played along. She always seemed overly sexual and she went down on me a few times but I never performed any oral sex on her. I did not even want to have sex with her but she mildly assaulted me in the car one time by straddling me and putting me inside her without a condom on. I was in there for about 2 minutes and I kept telling her to get off. I didnt throw her off because I didn't want to hurt her. She eventually stopped after 2 minutes after I shook her and told her to stop. This was at the end of July. This was also the first time we had sex. Then she started acting weird, and started threatening me in the coming months regarding telling my wife about us and I told her that its over because she's crazy and her behavior is unwarranted. Whenever I asked her if she was clean, she always said she was clean and never had an STD in her life. She also started getting mad when I told her i'd get checked and show her if she could do the same for me. She said I was weird to ask her that. Then on october 21st, I had sex with her in the car again unprotected for literally 2 minutes but I was so guilty that I stopped. I did ejaculate very little but outside of her. I asked her again if she was clean and she lost it. Started threatening me again. A month later of her texting me regardless of me telling her to stop, she tells me she is pregnant. That its mine, and that its twins. I knew it was a lie, and that she went to planned parenthood to get the baby aborted. Long story short, last thing she said to me was "i'm going to be a nightmare to you".
My symptoms are as follows. Right after our encounter in october, I got so paranoid based off of her reaction, My genitals, balls, kept stinging. They were achy. I was itching my butt area, but more so than the itching, it was like my anus was aching. I went to the doctor on oct 25th and he did chlamydia, gon, hiv tests and it was all negative. urinalysis was negative. About a month and a half later I got tested for all hepatitis. It was all negative. I also got another HIV test in november, one in december, one in january and one in february. They were all negative. The symptoms went away, my doc said I had nothing. Then one day I noticed a small piece of string looking fleshy thing in my groin. It was sent to the lab in january 11th and pathology report came back as "suggestive of condyloma". I was depressed. This was HPV. Then I went to a dermatologist who looked at the genital area, I had no other "warts" nothing there, and he said "you have nothing, your problem is in your head not your body". He sent the pathology slide to a dermatopathologist, who looked at it with 2 other pathologists, who all said it was just a SKIN TAG, and ammended the report. So now I dont have HPV.
At the end of January 31st, I got a cystoscopy done, and the urologist saw nothing of concern because I told him HPV and herpes was my concern. I got an IGG test done in january as well, I was positive for HSV-1 and negative for HSV-2.
After this I have never been the same. I noticed a small purplish red dot on my scrotum, which the physicians said is a blood vessel. But in my mind, I never saw that before. I sometimes still get an achy feeling at the base. I've never had any breakouts, any lesions nothing. Now I get scared about every little thing. I saw black dots on my thumb, and every doctor i've show says its nothing, but in my mind its like, "i never had these before so why now". Im truly terrified. my left thumb is burning on and off, my feet sometimes gets a pin like pain, my left index finger gets a pin like pain too but theres nothing there. I do not know what is wrong with me and what more I can get tested for.
Someone please help me. Point me in the right direction. I'm literally watching myself deteriorate. I don't even touch my child because i'm scared to give her something. I have lost all quality of life.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Okay, so if I may...
You've had unprotected sex. You've tested for HIV, the hepatitis viruses and herpes. Have you tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, mycoplasma, syphilis and trich? Syphilis would give you a sore, which you haven't mentioned, but in order to move beyond this, test for everything.
You have been told a number of times that your symptoms are not an STD, and I agree with that. There is no STD that causes pain in your thumb, for example, and hemorrhoids don't look anything like an STD.
There is no STD that causes your body to deteriorate in a few months, either.
I think what you are feeling is guilt, trauma and anxiety. Those can present with real symptoms in the body. Have you considered counseling? You really should.
You've had unprotected sex. You've tested for HIV, the hepatitis viruses and herpes. Have you tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, mycoplasma, syphilis and trich? Syphilis would give you a sore, which you haven't mentioned, but in order to move beyond this, test for everything.
You have been told a number of times that your symptoms are not an STD, and I agree with that. There is no STD that causes pain in your thumb, for example, and hemorrhoids don't look anything like an STD.
There is no STD that causes your body to deteriorate in a few months, either.
I think what you are feeling is guilt, trauma and anxiety. Those can present with real symptoms in the body. Have you considered counseling? You really should.
2 Comments
I appreciate your reply, thank you as this is very reassuring. I truly respect your response, but i guess in a way I would also like for a physician on these forums to respond to my concern...how do I do that? Can you help me with that please?
We don't have any doctors on this forum. We haven't since 2014, unfortunately.
No one is going to read that gigantic epic story since most of it has nothing to do with exposure to hiv. I will try to summarize what I think happened and you can correct me if I missed anything.
Summary> You had unprotected vaginal sex. You haven't tested for hiv and neither has she. Therefore you need to test for hiv.
Summary> You had unprotected vaginal sex. You haven't tested for hiv and neither has she. Therefore you need to test for hiv.
2 Comments
I tested for HIV like 4 times, last time was February. I understand, I didn’t know where to post my story tbh
You have spent 9 months worrying about hiv and seen doctors about other std but never asked your doctor about hiv testing guidelines? Is that why you have tested 4 times and still worry about hiv?
A duo test for hiv is conclusive after 4 weeks. Any other hiv test is conclusive after 3 months so your February test was conclusive. You are conclusively negative no matter what kind of test you took in February. You only needed to take one conclusive test so you have tested 3 times for no reason. You need to move on from hiv but if you can't then see a mental health therapist.
You need to move on from hiv but if you can't then see a mental health therapist.
A duo test for hiv is conclusive after 4 weeks. Any other hiv test is conclusive after 3 months so your February test was conclusive. You are conclusively negative no matter what kind of test you took in February. You only needed to take one conclusive test so you have tested 3 times for no reason. You need to move on from hiv but if you can't then see a mental health therapist.
You need to move on from hiv but if you can't then see a mental health therapist.
Hey,
Firstly I think you have posted this in the wrong section - you have posted in the HiV forum and from reading everything you put I don’t think you are concerned about HIV - if you are - stop you have tested conclusively for HIV.
In fact that’s how I’m going to respond let’s talk your tests - your gonorrhoea, chlamydia, HIV, Hep test are all conclusive you have not got any of them.
You Herpes test HSV-1 is positive in the vast majority of people. Most acquired it in childhood there is no way of knowing when and how you got it but it’s entirely possible that you have had this a long time. It’s also possible you don’t have it at all the blood test for HSV is not fantastic.
Your wart! I bet that was a scary few weeks for you but the test has found it’s a skin tag which is what I’d have said it was if you hadn’t have test so that makes sense.
Your symptoms are not suggestive of any STI. In fact they are fairly common in people who are anxious about STI in other words you anxious mind is amplified symptoms that you would have ignored in the past.
You have been examined by several doctors all of which have told you not to worry.
Guess what! I’m going to say the same. You have had a low risk encounter, most people tell the truth when asked about STI, most contacts with an infected source doesn't transmit and you have had no symptoms that suggest an STI. You have also tested conclusively.
From an entirely STI point of view it’s well past time to stop worrying about this. Unfortunately, I feel like you know this anyway the true reason for your anxiety is the guilt/worry of this other woman. You said she sexual assaulted you - perhaps that needs addressing for you to move on.
Perhaps involve your long term partner, let her know what’s happened? And work together through this. You are in a better position than me to judge this but right now you hold none of the power but talking to your partner will put everything back in your hands .
That said I understand this is not always the best course - but for sure, you can stop worrying about an STI you have proven that you did not acquire any of the STI you tested for.
Firstly I think you have posted this in the wrong section - you have posted in the HiV forum and from reading everything you put I don’t think you are concerned about HIV - if you are - stop you have tested conclusively for HIV.
In fact that’s how I’m going to respond let’s talk your tests - your gonorrhoea, chlamydia, HIV, Hep test are all conclusive you have not got any of them.
You Herpes test HSV-1 is positive in the vast majority of people. Most acquired it in childhood there is no way of knowing when and how you got it but it’s entirely possible that you have had this a long time. It’s also possible you don’t have it at all the blood test for HSV is not fantastic.
Your wart! I bet that was a scary few weeks for you but the test has found it’s a skin tag which is what I’d have said it was if you hadn’t have test so that makes sense.
Your symptoms are not suggestive of any STI. In fact they are fairly common in people who are anxious about STI in other words you anxious mind is amplified symptoms that you would have ignored in the past.
You have been examined by several doctors all of which have told you not to worry.
Guess what! I’m going to say the same. You have had a low risk encounter, most people tell the truth when asked about STI, most contacts with an infected source doesn't transmit and you have had no symptoms that suggest an STI. You have also tested conclusively.
From an entirely STI point of view it’s well past time to stop worrying about this. Unfortunately, I feel like you know this anyway the true reason for your anxiety is the guilt/worry of this other woman. You said she sexual assaulted you - perhaps that needs addressing for you to move on.
Perhaps involve your long term partner, let her know what’s happened? And work together through this. You are in a better position than me to judge this but right now you hold none of the power but talking to your partner will put everything back in your hands .
That said I understand this is not always the best course - but for sure, you can stop worrying about an STI you have proven that you did not acquire any of the STI you tested for.
6 Comments
I appreciate you, and the time you took to answer this. Where would I have posted this post though? I just don’t want to have anything and then somehow infect people I love.
There is an STI/STD forum on this site that could help, but I’m active on there and I would have said the same thing as I said above. It was just an observation.
Honestly I can’t see any risk of infecting anyone as you have proven your conclusive.
Have you resumed sex with your regular partner?
I loath to mention this but:
There is two other STD that I don’t think you have tested trichomoniasis and mycoplasma gentalium. They are not routinely tested for and only tested for in people with symptoms so you may struggle to find someone to test but it’s the only thing you haven’t ruled out.
I wouldn’t test if I was you I’d just move on but you have all the information now to make a choice.
Honestly I can’t see any risk of infecting anyone as you have proven your conclusive.
Have you resumed sex with your regular partner?
I loath to mention this but:
There is two other STD that I don’t think you have tested trichomoniasis and mycoplasma gentalium. They are not routinely tested for and only tested for in people with symptoms so you may struggle to find someone to test but it’s the only thing you haven’t ruled out.
I wouldn’t test if I was you I’d just move on but you have all the information now to make a choice.
I would also like to mention, I have not even shaved down there in like months. I’m scared to. Dr told me I have hemorrhoids, I keep thinking if they could have mistakened those for warts. He did the visual and finger check. I gave random itching or pain, in my mind im thinking if it’s hsv or warts…I can’t shake the feeling off. Apart from that, No I have only had sex with my wife twice since October with a condom and I make sure she doesn’t even touch me down there. It was so bad that we just don’t have sex anymore.
Also....Please let me know. At the doctors office, I took a HIV test but that was too early. My exposure was oct 21st, he tested me on october 26th. Sure I had brief sex with this girl in the end of June where she assaulted me. But there after, I took the 4th gen Alere Determine HIV 1/2 Ag/Ab combo test in october, november, december and february. They were all negative. Reading posts on here about HIV 2 has me scared, does this test for that as well? Also, do you think my results are conclusive?? How can I chat with one of the MD's on this forum?
Your HIV tests are definitely conclusive. The th gen DUO test is conclusive at 28 days.
If you'd like to chat with an expert, you can go to https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/ask-experts-get-answers-questions/
If you'd like to chat with an expert, you can go to https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/ask-experts-get-answers-questions/
The ask the experts forum is great to talk to a real professional MD.
I hope I can save you the money. Your HIV (and other test) have all been done at a time that is conclusive. And in direct response yes the Alere tests for HIV 2 as well as 1.
Please do your best to move on.
I hope I can save you the money. Your HIV (and other test) have all been done at a time that is conclusive. And in direct response yes the Alere tests for HIV 2 as well as 1.
Please do your best to move on.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
