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Male Fear of Penetration
How do I reconcile the fact that my father, who digitally penetrated me for years but never broke my hymen, did not ever penetrate me with his penis? However, he managed to impregnate my mother five times.
when u say swallowed up , did u mean a point of no return and his fear that if he ever does this he cant stop it ?
i think u want/wanted him to ...or may be its just my surmise , u sud really move on.
i think u want/wanted him to ...or may be its just my surmise , u sud really move on.
It sounds like you're genuinely interested in your father's psychology. If you're wondering whether your father had a "fear" of penetrating you, perhaps the only way to find out would be to ask your father himself, and even then he's not likely to know the answer (let alone his therapist, if he ever had one). It seems likely that your father may have been afraid of or angry about other things, however, and that this is why he abused you by penetrating you digitally.
It sounds like there's another, more important reason for your question, however. Are you asking why your father never penetrated you because you value his reasons for abusing you more than your feelings about that abuse? If so, it's important to realize that your feelings about this abuse are more important for you to deal with than his reasons. You may never know his reasons, and you need not care about them. What's important are your feelings above all.
It sounds like there's another, more important reason for your question, however. Are you asking why your father never penetrated you because you value his reasons for abusing you more than your feelings about that abuse? If so, it's important to realize that your feelings about this abuse are more important for you to deal with than his reasons. You may never know his reasons, and you need not care about them. What's important are your feelings above all.
It sounds like you're genuinely interested in your father's psychology. If you're wondering whether your father had a "fear" of penetrating you, perhaps the only way to find out would be to ask your father himself, and even then he's not likely to know the answer (let alone his therapist, if he ever had one). It seems like your father may have been afraid of other things, however, and that this is why he asbused you by penetrating you digitally.
I think there could be another, more important reason for your question. Are you asking why your father never penetrated you because you value his reasons for abusing you more than your own feelings about that abuse? If so, it's important to realize that your feelings about this abuse are more important for you to deal with than his reasons. You may never know his reasons, and you need not care about them. What's important are your feelings above all.
I think there could be another, more important reason for your question. Are you asking why your father never penetrated you because you value his reasons for abusing you more than your own feelings about that abuse? If so, it's important to realize that your feelings about this abuse are more important for you to deal with than his reasons. You may never know his reasons, and you need not care about them. What's important are your feelings above all.
Sorry, I truly didn't mean to offend you.
It's just that I didn't quite understand the wording of your posts.
And, I thought that maybe I had missed something within the meaning of the text.
It was never my intention to patronize, doubt, or hurt your feelings in any way... I was merely asking for clarification.
Once again... my apologies for any misunderstanding on my part.
It's just that I didn't quite understand the wording of your posts.
And, I thought that maybe I had missed something within the meaning of the text.
It was never my intention to patronize, doubt, or hurt your feelings in any way... I was merely asking for clarification.
Once again... my apologies for any misunderstanding on my part.
I think it would be better to speak to your psychiatrist as she would have dealt with incestuous sexual abuse before.IMO I think your father digitally penetrated you rather than intercourse because that was all he needed to get himself aroused and maybe as a father he didn't want you to lose your virginity.I hope this helps.
You're being a bit defensive and combative, no to mention vague. The problem is that your original question makes no sense as worded. What, specifically, do you need to reconcile? The fact that he never penetrated you with his penis? The fact that he penetrated you digitally/at all? It is very confusing and would benefit from being asked as a more straightforward question.
What do you mean my husband or my boyfriend? I said father. I misread your thoughtfulness; and I overlooked your use of such terms as messing around and fingering. These are sexual slang terms and I think you're off-base for using them. You don't know how to discuss this subject appropriately or use appropriate terminology.
Do you think that just because someone is a trained therapist that they understand everything psychological under the sun? Or are you in denial that incest between fathers and daughters occurs, even into adulthood? I suppose you think MacKenzie Phillips is crazy to talk about her experiences with her father on Oprah Winfrey. Well it's real, but I don't need to convince you or anyone else on this matter.
Have a happy Kawazaa.
Do you think that just because someone is a trained therapist that they understand everything psychological under the sun? Or are you in denial that incest between fathers and daughters occurs, even into adulthood? I suppose you think MacKenzie Phillips is crazy to talk about her experiences with her father on Oprah Winfrey. Well it's real, but I don't need to convince you or anyone else on this matter.
Have a happy Kawazaa.
But, now... isn't this your father that you're talking about? Your own father fingered you?
Your father touched you in an inappropriate and sexual way... and, you're concerned why he hadn't penetrated you?
And, you have a therapist... a trained professional... who "understands" but gets "defensive"?
In a Freudian way, I can understand the fear of being "swallowed up." But, to be honest, the other dynamics that you mentioned don't make sense to me.
Is this your father... and not your husband or a boyfriend that you're speaking about?
Your father touched you in an inappropriate and sexual way... and, you're concerned why he hadn't penetrated you?
And, you have a therapist... a trained professional... who "understands" but gets "defensive"?
In a Freudian way, I can understand the fear of being "swallowed up." But, to be honest, the other dynamics that you mentioned don't make sense to me.
Is this your father... and not your husband or a boyfriend that you're speaking about?
Thank you for your thoughtful response. My therapist understands this question, but may not have enough clinical training in this area. She was the one to suggest that he had a fear of being swallowed up by me, thus he preferred digital penetration. But when I try to probe deeper into the issue, she becomes defensive.
I just had an idea. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist for medication, and she might or might not have some input into this issue. I am going to figure this out eventually.
I just had an idea. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist for medication, and she might or might not have some input into this issue. I am going to figure this out eventually.
So, are you asking why was your father messing with you, if he already had your mom as a sex partner?
If that's, indeed, the question... then the short answer might be because he had a proclivity to abusing women for his own selfish and depraved sexual needs. Then, again, the answer may be even deeper and far more complex than that. It's hard to say what's in the hearts and minds of others, and what compels them to do the awful things they do. That's where therapy and counseling comes in.
I think that talking this over with a professional who's trained to help victims of such abuses could help shed light on this dark issue.
If that's, indeed, the question... then the short answer might be because he had a proclivity to abusing women for his own selfish and depraved sexual needs. Then, again, the answer may be even deeper and far more complex than that. It's hard to say what's in the hearts and minds of others, and what compels them to do the awful things they do. That's where therapy and counseling comes in.
I think that talking this over with a professional who's trained to help victims of such abuses could help shed light on this dark issue.
Are you saying that because you know he was having sex with your mother you can't understand why he would want to digitally penetrate you?
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