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Avatar universal

Need for sex, but not with hubby.... WTF???

Why is it that I love my hubby so much, but have little or no sex drive for him. However if I talk to a stranger online I want them?
I love my husband dearly, and want to please him, but all I can think about is having very rough sex with a total stranger or strangers?
I love the thought of having forceful sex with a stranger, and wish I could get that thought of a stranger to turn to my hubby instead?
ANY thoughts.
8 Responses
646512 tn?1224449792
I struggle with thoughts similar.  Do you have an abuse history?  I do and the two are connected.  Also, for me being bipolar, one of my symptoms is sexual promiscuity.  I love my wife, I am very attracted to her and we have great sex, but when I am manic I tend to find myself in situations.  Its like I loose perspective or control.  My thoughts would be that it is abuse related or a bipolar thing.  Then again maybe try talking to your husband and act some of this stuff out together  
Avatar universal
Yeah, I was also going to suggest some role-play, IF your husband is up for it.  Describe to him the sort of scenario you'd like to act out, what you'd like him to do to you, how you'd like him to treat you and talk to you, then do it.  Or, just describe the scenario to him while you have sex.
Avatar universal
Or write a short story describing the scenario, then e-mail it to your husband at work, should give him some idea how to treat you when you both get home!
Avatar universal
I have no history of abuse or anything of the sort, that is why I am so confused as to why I am this way.
My Husband trys to help me with the forceful fantasy but it just isn't what I am thinking.
It is still not a stranger to me, And that is the thought that arouses me.
Weird I guess. But it is all in my head, If I was ever in a real position of having no control I may be scared to death.
I can control my thoughts and I am sure it will be ok.
Avatar universal
There are some general ways to do the fantasy and have it be more fulfilling.  I'll write more later.
178590 tn?1294180367
I don't understand that but I have the same thing...I just get so turned on thinking of other men....and with my hubby I know he wants the same thing and never worries if I am pleased or not....
Avatar universal
dont let it  rule you if your tempted to act on the fantasys you should seek professional help not worth risking your marrage over.. its also extremely unhealthy for your mental health and marrage to continue online
Avatar universal
Ive heard of companies (like those that do domination, mistresses etc etc) that can do organised kidnappings for couples and all sorts. bizarre I know and it might not be appropriate, but it gave me an idea. Do you still find yourself attracted to your man, or is it more the fantasy of being taken this way?

Maybe figure this out and then suggest to your Hubby that you try this together. Blindfolding might be good. Maybe he blindfolds you, hurries you to some hotel or somewhere and does it that way, the confusion etc might make it seem like a stranger?

Or he creates a completely different internet persona to discuss his dirty thoughts etc with you, you blindfold yourself and when he gets home performs you fantasy.

Just a thought but chat to your husband about it, especially if you love each other and Im sure you can work it out, it could just be something simple. :)
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139792 tn?1498589250
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Southwest , MI
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