M sexually active but no one to share it with..

[zelkahmiktez]

For the past 9 years I haven't had any sexual relationships. Why? simply because i have a very high regard about sex, that this should be done on a love context.  ( Uummm that means I haven't fallen in love for that long).  
I know I am very sexually active,,, within  i can feel it... but i don;t share it with anyone.
Is it bad not to have sex for that long? will there be a side effects? tell me please... Coz if it has a side effect.... i really need to go and look for a guy that's good for me..

[zelkahmiktez]

With that libido thing, that  you were talking about? Baby, I can sense it,,, I  can feel the urge...I know it...It's just that, I  always have this thought that it should be done in a context of "love".  I know myself...  and I have enjoyed doing it with someone I love. I was not just a recepient, I am also a giver. I reciprocate the pleasure that I am receiving and many times  wanted to make sure that he is receiving the  message that m sending thru sex. YOu are aware that  through touch,while your finger tips were travelling  all over his/body... it's like  a magic when you transfer that warm touch to your partner,,through passionate kisses that can last for a mimimum of 30 minutes simply because you enjoy exploring and expressing your feelings through kisses,,, and even with how you  look at the person, you can see through the eyes if he's total presence is with you right?
There are countless ways on how you can express love...and I consider sex as the ultimate way of transcending love ( verbal and non verbal expression of love).  
I know it, and i've experienced it. It's more pleasureable to do it with love than with lust.
You might be wondering, what if the other partner is no longer capable of engaging in sexual activity? Baby, I know I can still love a person even without sex, the last relationship, I 've had? it was him who gave up, he made up a lot of excuses, but one thing i know he's in the process of sexual dysfunctioning and he cannot accept it. I've accepted that kind of situation and I've  lived with that. What i cannot take was when  he stopped  loving me. Worst is, when  he took our relationship on a friendship context. See? Even if he's incapable already, I was still loyal to him, and he didn't value that. ( I'm ok now., we're still friends and nothing more thanks to  this website, it helps a lot when you're talking  and someone is listening and responding, and I 'm more free to express myself here coz, m dealing with intelligent, concerned individuals..)
Loving is not only purely sexual activity, it's more than that... companionship... feeling of belongingness, feeling of  being need...and  the sharing of  a lot of things. It's good to know that someone is listening when you speak...someone is willing to offer a big hug when you're down or when you're happy...
So what's my issue now?  Ummmm? "Giving up the word  looking for the  right one? for the true love?" I dunno, maybe you guys are right...but the thing is,,, i just can't imagine myself having sex just for the sake of releasing lust or doing it with no emotional attachment..
For me, it's like a food, that has to be with some kind of ingredient. That without the other, it wouldn't taste good. The ingredients should be:

50% mutual attraction
        20% character
        20% mental
        10% physical
50%  mutual love (emotional attachment)
         (that includes committment. responsibility  and etc)

Funny, it  just came into my mind... that's not ideal... but for me, to have a satisfying sexual relationship you must have all those. Percentage may vary but those has to be present. Thanks for paying attention to my concern  on this site.

[SeriousSam]

I admire your morals, however how do you know that you have a high libido?  With other people I mean.  I have known very moral people who waited a long amount of time to have sex for the first time only to find that the person they enjoyed having sex with most, who could meet their expectations, was themself?

The converse can also be true.

If you are truly very sexual, and are really looking for a partner be careful!  When you walk the moral ground looking only for a partner to love sometimes the hormones can fool you into thinking lust is love and love is lust.  And loneliness can be confused for either.

I admire your fortitude but they say you should shop  only after you are full which seems to be good advise and waybe their is someway you can perhaps satisfy at least the need, or perhaps have already done so to some extent to make you not so eager to find "true" love.

Personally for me sex is best when done with someone who mentally intrigues me, looks come after that.

[zelkahmiktez]

Wow... thank you very much!  You made me feel good. I thought m gonna die for not having sex (ha!ha!ha!) . Yes, I will continue saving myself for the right guy for me. Though, I believe that it is still the best exercise and  one of the best ways to  release stress,,, i can always find an alternative.

[Njsweetnlight]

I agree with you that sex should be between two people that love and care for each other that is the whole point of sex. It is hard to find that special someone to share certain things but it will happen. Not having sex is not harmful to your health but having sex can be beneficial to your health such as the release of certain hormones I think they say endorphones in the brain and helps relieve stress and so on but you will not die if you don't have sex. Keep with your morals and when you do settle down you will appreciate the sex and relationship more.