I'm actually going through the same sorta thing as you and I think it'll help if you go and see your GP or a councillor. I worked for me:)
After a negative situation or an event takes place, a trigger mechanism within you is activated which can send you “straight into depression”. It could be a thought about a previous failure, an event with a friend, or something that sparks sadness or anger that starts the downward spiral.
We need to be aware of our own self-talk. There is no doubt that negative self talk can drive us into depression. My encouragement is to listen to your self-talk, become aware of it, and if it’s negative, change it!
An important part of loving yourself is taking personal responsibility for yourself. This involves elements such as taking responsibility for your own thinking process, for your own therapy program, for what you watch, read, eat, how much sleep you have, and more. It is important to love yourself to enhance the healing process.
Regards,