double teamin

[Lynne2206]

i was dating this guy for a few days over 2 years when he broke it off with me after christmas 2008. all of 2009 we were great friends and towards him coming home from college became even closer and realized we might still have that spark we thought we lost and became more of "friends with benefits" if you will. when i met someone new i let him know that i was dating someone so our friendship could remain but the physical aspect needed to stop and he agreed and was fine with it.

us being such close friends, i had asked him a few times if he was interested in anyone new just trying to scope it out and see what was going on with him and he told me each time that he wasnt interested in anyone else. he also had told me that i was still the only girl he has slept with. recently after this past christmas, we talked and realized the spark is for sure still there and we have decided to give it another try.

he lives a couple hours away from me now and he asked me to come to his apartment and visit for a week and that is where i currently am. yesterday on accident and i swear on accident, i saw some messages in his phone from another girl and i read back through them a little bit and saw a message from him saying that they might has well just be single if thats how things were going to be. this message was sent about 4 days before he and i worked things out so im a little worried about his real intentions with me...

now i havent confronted him because that means admitting i read those messages and im not that person but its eating at me. how do i begin this conversation and know that hes being honest with me? and how do i know that this thing with him and that girl wont start again and ill be dropped like old meat? also i want to know if they have had sex because then i could be in danger of some bad things, so how would i begin to ask about that?

i have 4 days left here and i dont want them to go horrible but i cant stay here and pretend any longer either....

any advice is great! and thank you in advance!

[Lynne2206]

no we dated from dec of 2006 to right after our 2 year anniversary in 2008. the choice to sleep with him was hard to make and it did take a while. we both were virgins, both used protection (me the pill and a condom during all times), and made sure not to let that get in the way of anything and it really didnt. the relationship was good and it started getting serious and what broke us up most is me starting to take it seriously. i found out he was serious about a long term relationship until i got serious about us, then he changed his mind with the much forced help of his family.

and im not sure he was sleeping with her but if so i want to find out. protection with him could still put me in danger if he didnt use it with her and im dropping him like that if the answer is true. this past december (2009) would have made 3 years we were dating and we ended up getting back together and im glad we are, just curious about those few things

[grendslori]

Have you ever heard about the sailor who had a girl n every port? Sounds like you are that girl. The biggest mistake that you have made was to sleep with him. (you might want to read the post written by Tank where he and I are in a real good write-up about young people having sex. You only dated him for a few days back in 2008? Why did you choose to go to bed with him? He is obviously lying to you and leading you along. I would confront him about all of this and be prepared to head back home. A guy that sleeps around and/or lies the way he is is not someone you want to be married to; he's not stable and because of that needs to do a lot of growing up. Unfortunately, that is the reality of it.