16 and pregnant...

[sweetpea03]

I'm just curious to know about how many people watch this show. Do you watch 16 and pregnant? or do you watch teen mom? Do you think they accurately portray what it is like to be a teen mother? Also how old are you? I'm looking for people's views on these types of shows. Any opinions/input would be be appreciated. thanks.

[Renshai]

I watch this show occasionally, especially since I've been home on the couch for the last several weeks. I swear they only show the least responsible/mature young women they can find. I've known several teen mothers, where I grew up with was something that happened a lot, and most of the girls I knew were highly intelligent and had extremely supportive parents. They finished school and always took good care of their children. Many went on to college and now have good degrees and well-paying jobs. But...that doesn't make the most entertaining TV, does it?

I'm not saying that there aren't young woman like the ones portrayed in the show but I really wish they'd show the good side every once in a while.

[sweetpea03]

I don't think there really is a good side to teen pregnancy. I am just wondering how many teens or anyone watches it and what they think of it. I heard my younger cousin say that it's no big deal to have a baby in high school. I'm wondering how many people think that it makes it the "norm" to have a child so young.

[Clysta]

It's becoming the norm. I personally find it to be irresponsible and foolish. Many young people don't understand what it means to have an infant and go to school or work. I'm a stay at home mom to my 10 week old, and it's more draining than working a full time job. Many think others will help, and forget that babies cost money, and lots of it. Sure, it's an amazing experiance. But you get interrupted sleep, no alone time and you have to plan everything. A 30 minute trip to the store becomes planned and a hassle. I'm lucky to be able to shower for 5 minutes without her screaming. I've seen so many young girls have children for silly reasons, such as wanting to keep a guy or because it seems 'fun'. They don't realize how stressful a baby is to a relationship, and that if you need a baby to keep you together you clearly have problems that need fixed. It's selfish to put an innocent children in that.

As for the show, I don't want it. The idea of it is stupid to me. (I'm 21 btw)

[penswriter]

It glamorizes motherhood. Being a mom is FAR from that. There were days I couldn't shower till 2 or 3 am. That show is ridiculous and I find teens trying to get pregnant extremely irresponsible and not using approprite protection. (I'm 25 and grew up when teens did NOT get pregnant. If they did they were seen as a shame and disappointment.)

[Caddy1992]

i love that show, i got pregnant at 16 had my baby at 17, i believe almost all of them show how hard it is but sometimes its harder then they make it seems but i watch both n i enjoy those shows very much its good to see how other teen moms handle situations

[sweetpea03]

I'm really curious, does your mom or dad help you with your baby? Either with financial help or with watching your child?

[sweetpea03]

Anyone else watch the show?

[hiltonvslohan]

I love both shows and have watched them since they came out. I'm 19 and currently pregnant. I got pregnant at 18 and im in my 5th month. No my parents dont have anything to do with helping me. Im engaged to a wonderful man, OWN MY OWN home, OWN MY OWN car, have a steady full time job as a CNA and also raise my younger brother and sister who live me. My parents are happy for me but do not take care of me or pay my bills. I'm sorry to get deffensive but what about people like me? am i a let down to society because i tried for 6 months to get pregnant and finally it became that i was pregnant? I raised myself and my siblings since i was barely a child. I don't feel 19, i feel as though im 39.

[sweetpea03]

A certified nursing assistant is a good job, but it is also very limiting and has the lowest salary of all nursing careers. Most CNAs end up moving on to a different career or try to move up to become a RN or LPN. That can be very hard to do when raising a child. I understand that you feel like you have grown up fast, I feel that way myself. Though, I wouldn't want to put myself into a position where I am forcing myself to keep growing up quickly. I would much rather enjoy my experience in university(enjoy the experiences in class, I'm not one to party) and getting my bachelors degree. It would be very difficult to pay for everything, including a child, on a small salary. I am glad you are able to take care of yourself, but I also think you are putting yourself into a situation where you may struggle a lot. I think if you could have waited a couple years, it would be a lot easier on you. I hope all goes well with your family.

[hiltonvslohan]

I'm already enrolled in school and will continue my classes after the baby is born. and my fiancee has a successful carrer as well. Not everyone has that pretty little life that you have. let me guess do your parents pay for your school, board or vehicle? Did they buy you your own car when you turned 16? I'm sorry but thats not the life I grew up in, i was raped beaten and emotionally hurt more times a day than anytihng else. Life is short and i could die tomorrow. Ive always wanted to be a mom and thats what I'll be. I'm a smart girl. I have straight A's and graduated highschool with a 3.8 GPA while raising two siblings. This is the easy part of my life now and i enjoy everyday to the fullest.

[HaYnSweetie]

i believe in finishing school and experiencing life after high school before starting a family. However it is happening alot these days. Girls are starting to get pregnant younger than 16 now a days. Alot think its "cute" to be pregnant or walk around pushing a stroller when theyre still in high school. When my little sister got pregnant at 16 all i could think about was "man, shes really gonna miss out on alot of things". After high school i got to experience the real college life, what its like to work and be able to buy things for yourself and not work to pay medical bills or diapers or baby clothes. My sister struggles, even with the help of my parents. I wish she wouldve waited to finish high school, experience college & the work force and then start a family. But things dont always work the way want. She purposely got pregnant, which isnt the smartest thing a teen could do, but we all love that baby and my sister is a good mother. What really matters is what happens after the baby is born and how the baby is taken care of. Do i support teen pregnancy?? No. But it happens and all we can do is offer our advice and help when needed.

hiltonvslohan: My parents bought me a car and pretty much paid for everything up until i finished college. I was on scholarship so they didnt have to pay tuition or room & board. Just because these things were taken care of for me didnt automatically make me say "hey im gonna go to college and wait to have a baby" it was a plan i had chosen for myself, money or no money i wanted to make sure i went to school and was 100% capable of giving my child everything he needs. I finished college at 21, started my career shortly after, married at 24 and now at 25 will have my first child. My husband and i are more than finacially stable and i am very happy that i decided to wait to have a baby.  

[sweetpea03]

Woo there, hold the judgment. I am on my own, paying for everything I need by myself. I bought my own car at 16, moved into an apartment with roommates(paying for it myself), took out student loans for school(along with getting a scholarship for good grades), etc. I am a very independent person. I'm sorry you had a tough life, but that doesn't mean you should hurry/rush to grow up. There is no reason to rush into adult responsibilities when you are still growing up. I hope you understand just how difficult it is to focus and do well in school while raising a baby. Most young mother's drop out, just look at all of the statistics. I've seen women get pregnant that are in my classes and slowly but surely watched them drop out of school because it was just too difficult to do it all. You can be a mom after school, and then be able to devote your time to your child. You don't need to do everything right now. Also, have you talked to anyone about the childhood trauma you went through? I would advise that you go to some sort of counseling.

[sweetpea03]

It's worrisome to me to see so many young teens think it is "cute" or "cool" to have a baby so young. I have a few younger cousins who are just starting high school and what they say about this subject at times makes me uneasy. A friend of my cousin's wants to be like one of the girls on 16 and pregnant. I really enjoy my college classes. I was never one who totally loved high school and think college is so much better. I would hate to have missed out on it like a few friends of mine who get pregnant in high school. All of them really struggle to make it all work, even with help.

[hiltonvslohan]

Well, im not 16. I am 19 years old and engaged. I have been with my fiance for 5 years. we're great parents to my siblings and it will only get better. Thank you for the judgement and everyone lives life how they want to. Good luck YOUR OWN life.

[sweetpea03]

Take a step back and relax. I'm not telling you that you have to live your life this way and only like this. I am only saying as someone older than you that it's not a good idea to rush into things before you have lived a little more. I know you are not 16 and are 19, but that doesn't mean you are ready for what is to come. You seem to look at life in a naive way. If you think it's going to be easy to continue with school and raise a baby, you are kidding yourself. I hope you can think this all through before making such a huge life changing decision, for your own sake and for the sake of your innocent baby. thanks for the good luck, and good luck to you as well.

[sweetpea03]

Some things to think about:

Do you have health insurance?, a safe and stable home environment?, are you financially ready? need to be financial providers (preferably the parents) for expensive food, diapers, clothes, toys, furniture, equipment, and daycare, and caretakers (preferably the parents) who can meet the baby's demands at any given hour, any given day, with no hesitations or exceptions. Who's going to take care of the baby when you're at school?

[hiltonvslohan]

Yes i have health insurance, a stable environment. I had plenty of money saved and I'm very financially stable. My fiancee will watch the baby while im at school and the baby will be at daycare for only 4 hours a week whichh i have already set up. Im a responsible person. Like i said ive raised 2 kids already (my siblings) and still have lived my life wonderfully. I had no government help or family help. it used to be just me and now my fiance is here to help which makes things even more wonderful

[sweetpea03]

I really do hope you can make it. Diapers, baby bottles, baby wipes, car seats, strollers, etc. are all very expensive. I would have said to try it out for a few months as a test run to see if you truly can afford it all and be ready for it(buying the needed items when you would need them, but aren't pregnant and also trying it out with school), but since you are already pregnant, I guess it's a bit late for that. Raising your own baby is a lot different than raising a sibling(s). You'll learn that once the baby is here. You can read about other teen mom's experiences and struggles on here. It's really not an easy road. No teen mom regrets her baby, but they most all regret the timing of when it happened. Hope all goes well.

[Clysta]

Whatever happens, bear this is mind. Things might look good in your mind and on paper, but are highly different when they actually play out and happen. I've also raised siblings (mainly my youngest one) and it is nothing even close to having your own child. I'm not criticizing (my middle sister is also 19 with a 5 month old and had a similar mindset and situation to you and now lives with our parents) but just saying things rarely go according to plan.

[hiltonvslohan]

I'm not saying thats its going to be the easiest thing ive ever done. Yeah it will be hard sometimes but whats not? Ive raised them since they were born, ive never given them back or said I needed help and can't do it. This may not be for everyone, nut it's right for me. No criticism to anyone. I'm not just some spoiled little teenager who doesn't know how life goes and uh oh im pregnant. I know how hard life can be and how expensive thngs a re in the real world. Women have been having babies even ealier than this for years, decades, centuries. You have your opinion and thats ok, but your trying to force it on people and thats why I was so defensive. Voice your opinion yes but dont try throwing it at people.

[sweetpea03]

Life is hard, which is why it's a good idea not to put yourself into situations that make it more difficult. Also remember that when you say "people in the past have been doing this at your age or younger", that back then, even only 10 years ago, everything was less expensive, people had a shorter life span, etc. A decade ago is a lot different from today's times. Today it's extremely hard to make a good living without a college degree. Today we're in a recession and it's hard to find work. Products are more expensive to buy. Only 5 years ago, gas prices were a buck less than now. I'm not trying to say my way is the best and the only way to go, but you have to look at the whole picture. There isn't a need to rush into having a family when you have your whole life ahead of you. I love my boyfriend and would like to have a family of my own, but I would never rush into it. I like being able to live my life with him and finish my bachelors degree. I like being able to go on vacation and not have to plan it all around a baby. I would rather get married first and then start a family. I would much rather experience life more before settling down. My cousin is 30 now and had her first baby at 18. She really regrets the timing of when it happened and wishes she could have lived more. She missed out on a lot of experiences. There are so many things to learn and do that are much easier to accomplish without a child that I would hope everyone can experience. Just going to the store is a big task in and of itself when you have a baby or young child. I think as we grow up, we all think we know what life is all about and then we get older and look back at how we thought before and think, boy was I wrong. It's good to learn from other people's mistakes and listen to what others with experience talk about. We continuously grow and mature all the way through adulthood into old age. It's not a good idea to just think that you've been through something similar, so you can handle this. You can't compare apples to oranges.

[hiltonvslohan]

We all get what your trying to say. WAIT WAIT WAIT. We got it. I got it. It's my life, Im not saying your wrong completly but your wrong for me. I love my life and I am very happy and proud of the choices I made. Its honestly none of your business what anyone does. Your not going to change mine or anyone else's mind when its made up. This is the life I wanted. The life I asked for. I'm not comparing apples to oranges. You don't know my life at all. You act like you do somehow but u dont even know my name. Your one opinion doesn'y apply to all situations. Now if i was 14 15 16 17 maybe even 18 still in highschool, still at home with my parents, no job, no savings, a car that my parents paid for, even with a job who cares, then iw ouldn't be having a baby. I own my house. I'm getting married (becuase I want to and love him, not cuz I'm pregnant). I OWN my own car. I have more life experience than most 30 yr olds do. For some people having a baby this yound wouldn't be right for THEM, but it is for ME. This is my choice to make about my own life and the life of my children.

[sweetpea03]

I'm glad you're happy and think you can do all of this. Though your defensiveness on this thread leads me to think that your emotional maturity isn't all that high yet. You jumped to defend yourself when you could have just let the comments go, these are only people's opinions and experiences. They were not hateful comments directed at you or anything of that sort. You will get a lot of comments about being a young mom from people and need to learn to just let things slide without being super defensive. Also when I'm saying comparing apples to oranges, I'm talking about how you compared raising a sibling to raising your own child. And that is comparing apples to oranges, as they are different. You can have everything planned out in your mind about how you want things to go, but things rarely go as planned.

[Clysta]

I do have to agree that this isn't the only time or place you might get comments. I'm 21, married and I still get hateful glares and comments from people. Its a fact of life that you WILL criticized by people for the chooses you made stable or not. It's how you handle them that makes the difference. My husband works and has a good job, we only have one car (transmission in mine died) but I'm a stay at home mom. We don't struggle now (had a rough few months when I lost my job as well) and pay everything on time. Our daughter is well cared for and has everything she needs. This doesn't matter to people. I get called irresponsible by people I never have met before. No one is saying anything bad about what you've done or choose to do. They're just speaking from experiance. It's similar to what parents tell their kids to avoid them making a mistake they MAY regret. You might not. We don't know. In the end you could also lose everything. It's impossible to say and that's the risk that is taken. We're just saying you don't need to grow up fast. I did, and parts of me regret it. I never had a childhood and wish I had been smart enough to take advantage of living a little now. I'll never regret my daughter, but I know now it would have been much smarter to wait.