MedHelp.org will cease operations on May 31, 2024. It has been our pleasure to join you on your health journey for the past 30 years. For more info, click here.
Avatar universal

Does anyone know what cause zero sexual pleasure whatsoever and how to solve

I am a female who is experiencing no sexual pleasure or straight up pain during sexual activity, be it penetration, fingering, oral or vibrator (makes my legs twitch and that’s it). If anything, these activities make me feel uncomfortable and damp. I have never been able to experience pleasure in any of the erogenous zones or an orgasm on my own or with a partner.
For reference, I have been with the same sexual partner for 4 years since I became sexually active. No STD’s etc. I’ve not given birth or been pregnant before. I have no problem with arousal or lubrication. I am in my 20’s.
I really don’t care for sex at all, but my partner does and it’s been a source of tension in our relationship because I am unable to do the things that normal people can. I have been given advice by my girlfriends to just find a guy with a bigger size and call it a day lol. I feel like I’m very much in love with my partner and this advice is not viable. I would appreciate it if anyone could possibly suggest what is wrong with me as it would be just too embarrassing to ask my real life doctor. Also, if anyone has experienced something like this, how did you go about resolving the issue?
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
134578 tn?1716963197
If you can bring yourself to discuss it with your doctor, ask for a hormone test as well. Can't remember what hormones are implicated in sexual excitement, but you may as well check to see if you have the usual levels.

Helpful - 0
707563 tn?1626361905
There's something called vaginismus - https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments#1 - which may fit. Do you have problems using tampons, too? This can be psychological or a physical problem.

It might also be vulvodynia - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vulvodynia/symptoms-causes/syc-20353423

If you don't think it's this, how does it hurt? It might be endometriosis. That can make sex hurt with thrusts, and orgasms can hurt, too.

Does it hurt outside or inside? During or after?

Helpful - 0
And when you say activities make you "uncomfortable and damp" - what does that mean? Do you know what female lubrication is, or do you mean something else?
973741 tn?1342342773
Oh, I'm sorry.  This does sound like a source of tension in your life.  Having different sexual needs than your partner is tricky.  One person always has to compromise . . .  and that's all find as long as the other isn't resentful.  You may ultimately not be sexually compatible with your partner (and may prefer a partner that sex is not as important).  But you want this to work, so it is about continuing to try.  Believe it or not, there is a disorder that involves feeling zero pleasure sexually.  The name is anhedonia.  Here is a link.  https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia#1  I could be way off base but it is something to look into. It is closely linked to depression.  It can be both social and physical .  Treatments like ssri's have helped others and talk therapy.  If you read that and determine I'm way off base, then read this.  https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9123-sexual-dysfunction-in-females  It's an article on sexual dysfunction in women and may give you a bit of insight if you recognize anything in yourself.  If you talk to your doctor about this too, they may be able to help.  Perhaps it is a hormonal issue and that can be tweaked for example.  Or psychological issue which can also be helped. It has a really good management section as well.  Has ideas on how to overcome it but also to deal with it like distraction and discomfort management.  I feel for you.  I hope this works out.  Read through things and let me know what you think!
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Women's Health Community

Popular Resources
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.